Creature of Darkness
by Saerry Snape
Summary: S2 Halloween Ep AU. Xander picks a different costume and everything goes awry... [crossover with original series]
1. A Halloween to Remember

**Disclaimer:** Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor anything related to it belong to me. The character Xander goes to Halloween as – along with everything related to him – was created by me.

**Author's Note:** I realize that this story has not been flowing in the direction I originally wanted it to go. Also I've been reworking some points of my vampire stories, so I felt this needed a revision for that as well.

Creature of Darkness Chapter 1 

Alexander LaVelle Harris – better known as Xander – stood glaring sullenly down at the empty container that had once held the costume shop's supply of toy guns. The lack of them completely threw his soldier idea right out the proverbial window, as this was the last place in town that could have had a gun for him to use.

Sighing, he turned away from the box and wandered into the costumes, looking for something that pricked his interest. He eyed a spear with a pair of goggles tied just beneath the bladed tip for a moment then turned away from it as something glinted from the shelf across from it.

Hmm, odd shiny thingy…, he thought, drawn towards it by curiosity. 

Reaching up on the shelf, he dug past a snarling werewolf mask and scrabbled a moment for it. He was ready to give up then the tip of one finger caught a bit of leather cord and he grasped for it. A simple tug freed it and whatever was attached for his careful inspection.

Xander blinked at the half-dollar sized copper medallion that dangled from the end of the length of braided leather cord. As he moved it closer to make out the design inscribed on its surface, he noticed a small sliver of gold on the other side of the medallion. Reaching up, he lifted a thick golden band set with two emeralds (whether fake or not was a mystery) the size of the nail of his pinky and noticed something inscribed within the circlet.

As he went to look closer, absently noticing the design on the medallion's surface was a quartered background with a coiled serpent splayed across it, an unfamiliar voice from behind him made him jump.

"Do you need help with something?"

"Gyah!"

Spinning around and nearly dropping the medallion in his panic, Xander stared wildly at the smiling man who looked at him with some concern. It took him a moment before he recognized him as the owner of the costume shop and relaxed slightly.

"Did I frighten you?" asked the man. He then noticed the medallion and his eyes glinted. "Ah, I was wondering where that was."

The teenager blinked then held it out towards the man, asking, "Was it put in with this stuff accidentally?"

"Oh, no, nothing of the sort. It's just that there's a sword that goes along with it and I couldn't recall where I put the medallion." The man looked at him curiously and asked, "Perhaps you'd like to see it since you seem to like the medallion?"

Xander frowned and said, "Well, I've only got a few bucks…"

The man smiled. "Since you found the medallion for me, I'll make you a good deal."

"Eh…oh screw it, my soldier idea's blown anyway. Sure, why not?"

The man smiled – an almost sinister little quirk of the lips – and said, "I'm certain you'll like it. Perhaps I can tell you a bit about the persona it is supposed to resemble as we go."

"Okay," said the teenager as he followed the man back into the store, the medallion and attached ring dangling from his hand.

---

"Buffy!" exclaimed Xander as the blonde Slayer opened the front door. "Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia! I firmly renounce spandex!"

Buffy smiled and curtsied, saying, "Why, thank you, kind sir." She then tilted her head, frowning at him and his outfit – which was simply a pair of blue jeans with a dark green t-shirt and a brown felt jacket thrown over it with the combat boots he'd bought for his soldier costume as the last factor. The hilt of the sword (a slim rapier with a plain basket hilt) jutted past his jacket from where it was hooked to his belt and the medallion with its attached ring glinted from its spot lying outside his shirt. "Who are you supposed to be?"

He blinked then smiled and bowed, declaring, "Darien O'Connell, at your humble service, milady." As he straightened, his eyes twinkled and he grinned broadly, showing off a pair of fake vampire fangs. "Vampire of the Cyclaryn Line and named Traitor to all of my kin for attacking my sire."

"A vamp, Xan?"

"Nothing like ours, let me tell you," said Xander as he slid past her into the house without waiting for an invitation. "The costume shop owner guy gave me the run down on them while he was ringing me up. They still do the blood drinking and turning but they keep their souls unlike our friendly bloodsuckers. Also their eyes apparently do this nifty color change with certain emotions."

"Sounds kinda neat," noted Buffy with a wrinkle of her nose.

"'Cept for the fact that they're still vamps, right?"

"Right. And the sword is?"

Xander grinned in response. "This, milady, is one of the finest blades money could buy. It's main note to fame is having dispatched a pompous young French noble named Nicolas du Bessil in 1847 during a midnight duel."

"Nice," said the Slayer. She then frowned at it and asked, "It's not real, is it?"

"Pure one hundred percent plastic, Buffster. Now let's get Wills and go teach the little kiddies how to charm candy out of every old lady and gentle heart in town!"

The blonde laughed and said, "Alright. Oh, and wait till you see her, Xan! She's…"

Footsteps on the stairs made them both look up and Xander didn't look the least bit surprised when Willow appeared there dressed in her old standby costume. He glanced at Buffy, who looked surly, then smiled broadly at his best friend.

"That's a fine 'Boo' you got there, Wills."

Buffy sighed, shaking her head, then smiled a bit forcefully, saying, "Shall we get going then?"

---

"Tears are key to getting extra candy," intoned Xander to his eager charges, one hand on the hilt of his sword. "Normally they'll get you the double-bagger. Also there's the old 'You missed me' standby but that one can be risky, so we'll leave it for just chocolate. Got that?"

Several heads nodded in response and he grinned, fake fangs flashing, before saying, "Alright then, my fledgling trick-or-treaters extraordinaire, let's move out!"

Five minutes later they were running back from their first house to him and he asked, "So, what's the loot?"

Five hands pulled out toothbrushes in response and Xander gasped.

"Blasphemy!"

He then looked up and down the street before saying, "No more trick-or-treating from Mrs. Davis. I forgot the tricks of the trade don't work on her. Away to the next victim – er, I mean, house!"

The time passed quickly and as they came down the steps from one house, Xander looked at his watch and blinked.

"Whoa! Sorry, kiddos, looks like I've gotta be getting you back. C'mon, let's…gwah-huh?"

He came to an abrupt halt as something seemed to pass through him, lifting one hand towards his head. A scream sounded from somewhere nearby and he was vaguely aware that his charges had disappeared, running away with their own tinny shrieks.

A wave of disorientation passed over him and he groaned, collapsing to one knee. Head bowed, he slipped to both knees as another wave passed. After that, he stayed there, not moving except for minute shudders that ran through his body.

As a kid-turned-demon approached him, fangs dripping with hot saliva, and slung its clawed arm to take off his head he moved. Xander's dark head flashed up and he snarled before catching the kid-demon's claw almost effortlessly. The kid-demon tried to pull away as he rose to one knee then ran as it was released after a moment of careful consideration from its captor.

Shaking his head, Xander rose to his feet and looked around, eyes that were suddenly green narrowed.

"Xander!"

He turned and blinked as Willow ran up to him, clad in the black skirt and midriff-baring top she'd worn under her ghost sheet. When she tried to throw her arms around him and passed right through him, he stared and took a hasty step away as she recovered from her own shock.

"It's me, Willow!"

"I'm afraid I don't know any Willow," said Xander, his voice suddenly carrying the barest flavoring of a foreign brogue.

"Xander, this is no time for jokes!"

A dark eyebrow arched and he said, "I wasn't aware I was joking."

Willow blinked then whispered, "You don't…know me?"

"I'm afraid not. Though you appear to know me."

"You're my best friend Xander!"

Xander's brow furrowed and he looked down at himself, carefully studying his hands. Then he turned towards the nearby car and froze at his reflection in the glass of a window. After touching one cheek as if to test the reality of the situation, he slowly turned back towards her with hooded eyes.

"It would seem I'm stuck in someone else's body then. Though you appear not to be since you know me…this person - Xander."

She nodded and explained, "He…he's my best friend."

"I see. And how did we come into this predicament?"

The redhead flushed and mumbled something, causing him to chuckle.

"Ah, Halloween. Somehow that explains everything…except exactly how I got here."

"Well, Xander dressed up as you," said Willow.

"That in itself is worrying with me being what I am." He looked around then blinked, shaking his head. "Good Lord, my mother would kill me for forgetting the manners she spent years pounding into my head," he mumbled before smiling at her and bowing slightly. "Darien O'Connell, at your service."

"Pleased to meet you," responded Willow with a smile, finding she kind of liked the fellow who was possessing her best friend. Better stuck with a good guy than, say, a looting and pillaging Viking. "Er…we really should find Buffy though."

"Buffy?"

"The Vampire Slay-er…BUFFY!"

The redhead took off running as she saw her friend and Darien stood blankly for a moment before tailing her. As they ran towards a blonde clad in a dress he'd seen a dozen of before in his centuries of life, he went over what Willow had said.

_**The**_ _Vampire Slayer, she said_, he thought as he jogged after her. _Which means there's just one and not the seven Clans that I know. And that…_

He staggered as he realized exactly the situation he was in.

Trapped in a body not his own as well as a world that wasn't his meant that not only did the Slayers he knew not exist (a good thing all over), but neither did his brother, little sister, fledgling, or…_Arana._

The thought of her not being with him almost brought him to his knees but he shoved it aside, pushing himself to concentrate on following Willow. She was his…guide…here and perhaps the only link to a way he could get home.

"Buffy, are you okay?"

"What?" asked the brunette, frowning at them.

Darien sensed something moving towards them then and turned, sighting the demon he'd scared off earlier coming towards them. And he had an even bigger friend.

"Trouble," he growled, moving to shield the two women from the oncoming foe. Baring his teeth, he flung his arm back towards the two and hit the hilt of his sword, which he had not realized he had before. He was even more surprised to find it was the first sword he'd ever come into the possession of, not the katana he'd come to use in more recent years.

Ripping the blade from its sheath, he spat, "Get out of here! I'll handle these two."

"Xan-Darien, they're _kids!_"

"I won't hurt them," responded Darien, carefully turning his head so his fangs were hidden from both of them as they descended. Somehow he got the feeling that Willow didn't know the specifics of her friend's costume and that Buffy was in the same situation as said friend. "Now, _go!_ Find a safe place and I'll catch up with you later!" He sheathed the rapier then, remembering Willow's warning of them being kids trapped in costumes.

Willow bit her lip then motioned a confused Buffy to her feet, ushering her off towards a nearby house. Darien kept a careful eye on the two of them as they staggered off then turned back towards the two demons, fangs bared. Growling in the back of his throat, he spat, "You two really don't want to take me on."

The kid-demon from earlier paused, looking confused, but the other one just roared and charged. Moments later the kid-demon followed and Darien ducked under the heavily muscled arm the larger one swung at him and spun around, slamming the heel of his hand into its side at a fleshy area underneath its armored skin. It grunted and staggered away, leaving him to turn and lash out at the other one with a sharp kick that connected with its shoulder hard. The kid-demon staggered back from the blow but recovered quickly and lunged forward, slashing at him with its clawed hands. Darien dodged the swipe easily and danced out of their reach, taking a moment to study the two.

The kid-demon was about his height with a stocky body covered in gray-green scales like a lizard and had slitted golden eyes. He would have no problems taking it down - its friend was another story all together. At least seven inches taller that Darien and built like a linebacker, the head and most of the upper body of the demon was covered in heavy black armor-like skin. The same skin also covered its nether regions and legs but it wasn't the solid mass that the upper body was. And apparently if you could hit underneath that armor, you could take it down. It was just going to be a walk through Hell to accomplish that task.

_Just need to get them down enough to make sure they won't follow us_, thought Darien as he eyed the smaller of the pair, who had started after him again. He slid under its arm and looped his foot around its ankle, giving it a hard tug that sent the demon sprawling. The other one was on him then with a rush of speed it didn't look capable of and he staggered backwards, almost tripping over the downed demon.

He punched sharply at the armored demon's neck where he spotted a gap in the armor as it darted towards him with surprising speed, his hand straight with the fingers all pressed together into a point. The pain of the blow connected made him grunt in pain but he grinned triumphantly as the demon collapsed backwards with a howl. It lay on the ground writhing for a moment then rolled over and, after casting a fearful look at him, turned and ran.

The kid-demon staggered upright and squealed before fleeing after the bigger demon, leaving Darien standing in pain but smiling as he knew they wouldn't be bothering him or the two girls tonight after that. Grunting, he shook his hand vigorously until feeling came back to it then sniffed the air to catch Willow's scent. Even as a semi-ghost, she had a scent since she was truthfully very much alive.

Breaking into a jog, he followed her scent to a house then found himself the recipient of a very lovely dark-haired young woman to the chest. She screamed in reaction then looked up at him, eyes widening with recognition even as her lip curled into an unattractive sneer.

"Harris!"

"Another that knows me in a way, I see," he observed, ignoring her confused look. Then he darted a glance over her shoulder and saw something huge following her out of the dark with a hungry snarl. Grabbing her about the waist, he snarled right back at it then darted towards the house with her under his arm, sensing it charging after him. At the porch steps, he flung her towards the door then spun back towards the creature, which appeared to be some version of a yeti or similar.

His foot smashed into its snarling jaw, sending it tumbling backwards to crash into a parked car. Landing in a crouch on the walkway, he straightened at the same moment it did and they're gazes met, its full of rage and animal fury. As it took a step forward, Darien reached for the part of himself he loathed and brought its rage and fury roaring up to the surface.

And as abruptly as it started forward, the creature retreated with a whimper as it sensed a predator far superior to itself. Only when it fully was gone from the edge of his senses, did he shove that part of him back and turned towards the house, finding Willow on the porch.

"Hi," she said nervously. "You found Cordelia?"

"The other girl, I assume?" he queried as he moved up the steps to stand next to her. "She's not affected like us. She called me Harris."

Willow smiled and said, "That's your…Xander's last name. And, no, she's not – I made sure to ask where she got her costume at."

"Hmm. We should get inside and lock the doors…you're certain this place is safe, correct?"

"Its Buffy's house," answered the girl as they went inside, he shutting the door and locking it since she couldn't. "And, um, now what?"

Darien frowned and looked around, noting the brunette of earlier – Buffy, he amended – babbling in shock over some picture and Cordelia giving her an askance look. Shifting back to Willow, he said, "Try and get them to check the doors and windows down here. I'll go check the windows upstairs."

"Alright," said the ghost girl and moved to do just that. He smiled then started up the stairs, leaving the sounds of the three young women behind him as he stepped onto the second floor.

He closed and locked the windows he found and ended up lastly in what was surely Buffy's bedroom. As he entered, he noticed one window was wide open and felt the flicker of a presence along his drawn in senses. Lunging forward, he shoved the seeming intruder up against a wall and started to snarl something when he felt the tremor of some sinister presence alongside his.

This person was a vampire far different from him, with a soul hiding something dark and vicious underneath it. The body was well and truly dead, just a corpse was whatever that unholy thing was to live in, though the true soul was back in it. It was disgusting – a truer sin against the rules of the world than his kind were.

"Who are you?" he snarled.

"You know who I am," replied the stranger, dark eyes flicking around to glare at him. "Now where's Buffy?"

"She would be downstairs. And you're not going down there until I get your name."

"You _know_ my name, Xander."

Darien scowled and said, "My name is Darien O'Connell and I am currently possessing young Xander's body through some sort of magic. Now give me your name or neither of us will be going downstairs as I'll be holding you right here against this wall."

The vampire grunted and tried to shove him away but it was futile. Darien might have been in a borrowed body but everything of his had come with him it seemed and he was far stronger than he looked – in Xander's body as well as his own. The stranger stared for a moment then grumbled, "Angel."

"A pleasure," growled Darien, not at all meaning it. "Now we're both going to go downstairs and if you try to harm any of those girls, I will rip off your head and use it for a basketball."

Angel blinked then his eyes narrowed. "_What_ are you?"

"That is none of your concern, whelp. Now move."

---

"You. Lost. A. _Slayer?!_" roared Darien, slamming Angel up against the kitchen wall with each word. His eyes blazed crimson and he had his fangs in full view of the vampire and Cordelia, who was watching from the kitchen door, and didn't give a damn about it.

"I…I didn't realize she…" began the vampire, only to be cut off by another thrust against the wall.

"Why the hell did you _think_ she was acting funny?"

"I…"

Darien snarled and spun, hurling Angel out the back door and onto the small back porch. As the vampire started to rise, he shot forward in a blur of motion and slammed a boot down into his back. He leaned over as he pushed the vampire down into the wooden boards and growled, "I sense that Xander cares a great deal for Buffy. Therefore, if she comes to harm, I'll do him a favor and take you apart limb by limb for allowing such to happen to her. Do we have an understanding?"

Angel grunted, trying to get out from under his foot, then gasped, "Y-yes!"

"Good," spat Darien, allowing him to get up. He then looked into the kitchen and said, "Cordelia, go with this idiot to find Buffy."

She nodded then asked, "What are you going to do?"

"Willow said that most people in this town got their costume from a new place – this Ethan's. I intend to go and look into just what sort of fellow this Ethan is."

---

"Why, hello…you're not Rupert."

Darien scowled, dark eyebrows dipping low over green eyes that flickered with scarlet.

"No, I'm not," he growled as he stepped towards the shop owner around a bust he idly recognized in the back of his mind as the god Janus. His Bloodsister had pounded knowledge of the old gods of her homeland into his head and – being a vampire and having an astounding memory – he'd never forgotten any of what she'd taught him. "Do you get some sort of kick out of turning children and teenagers into their costumes? Or is that just…"

He paused as he darted forward in a blur of motion, slamming his knee up into the older man's stomach. As Ethan doubled over, Darien snapped him across the temple with a punch that sent him sprawling.

"…what you do out of sheer boredom?"

Sneering as the shopkeeper started to get up, he lashed out, kicking him solidly in the kidneys. Ethan went down with a grunt of pain and Darien shook his head, softly clicking his tongue. The wretch of a man was lucky he'd been holding back on his strength, else he'd be dead right now.

"Any good spell caster would know better than to cast a spell such as you did. There's no telling what you might pull through."

He crouched down by Ethan, lifting the man's head up by his hair. Then he grinned, fangs fully showing and eyes gleaming scarlet as he hissed, "Like me."

Ethan screamed in pain then as Darien effortlessly threw him back against a wall. There was a crunch of breaking bone and the shopkeeper cried out, "Mercy!"

" 'Mercy?' " repeated Darien, only just noticing two new presences intruding onto the edges of his senses but ignoring them. "And why would I give mercy to a wretch such as you?"

Ethan smiled a pained grin and inclined his head towards the two behind him as he groaned, "Because you don't want those two thinking badly of your dear host, do you?"

Darien scowled then turned to face the pair, fangs and scarlet eyes still in place. Willow jumped back with a gasp and went partially through the wall while Giles pulled out a stake.

"Vampire!"

"Nothing like yours, I assure you," said Darien calmly. He then looked from one Englishman to the other then back to Giles, brow furrowed. "You wouldn't be the Rupert he was rambling on about earlier, would you?"

Giles scowled at that and the vampire nodded.

"I see."

"Willow, go and find the others," said Giles abruptly, eyes shifted suddenly from Darien to Ethan. Darien found the darker part of him could appreciate the sudden narrowing of the man's eyes and the swell of anger in them.

"But…"

"Willow," said Darien softly. "They need you. Go."

The redhead looked for a long moment at her oldest friend's face then nodded and turned, fleeing through the walls of the shop. Darien then turned to Giles and growled, "Don't even try to get rid of me, old man. I'm rather annoyed at your fellow countryman."

Giles nodded then said, "I'm going to have words with Xander about his choice in costume when this is all over."

Darien snorted then waved a hand towards Ethan, who was trying to get to his feet.

"He's all yours now."

The librarian/Watcher nodded and moved slowly towards the shopkeeper, who grinned bloodily at him.

"Why, Ripper, I…"

A punch to the kidneys made him double over and Giles followed it up with a punch to the face that sent him sprawling. The pedestal with the statue of Janus on it wobbled dangerously as he fell near it and Darien cocked his head at it, eyes narrowed. Then they widened as he realized just what the focus of the spell was – it _had_ to be.

"Didn't know…you…still had it…in you, Ripper," gasped Ethan.

"Tell us how to stop the spell," intoned Giles as he crouched beside the man.

"Oh, say 'pretty please.'"

Giles started forward to punch him again but Darien's voice made him stop.

"He doesn't need to," said the vampire as he gingerly lifted the statue of Janus. He stared into its glowing green eyes and continued, "_This_ is the spell's focus."

"Is it?" asked Giles, looking sideways at Ethan. The shopkeeper stared for a moment at the vampire until the librarian/Watcher punched him in the kidney, snarling, "_Is it?!_"

"_YES!_"

Darien looked at the statue for a long moment then nodded towards Giles.

Then he lifted it above his head and hurled it downward towards the floor, where it shattered. As the green glow faded from what was left of the statue's eyes, Xander hit the floor on one knee, one hand pressed to his head.

"Oh…damn, that hurts."

He looked up, eyes now hazel once more, and smiled weakly at the sight of Giles.

"Hey, G-man. Y'got an aspirin? 'Cause I've got a killer of a headache."

---

"Does anyone else have really weird urges now?" asked Buffy the next day as she, Willow, and Xander walked to class.

Xander frowned thoughtfully then shook his head, saying, "Nope. Not feeling any blood-thirsting urges. Why do you ask?"

"'Cause I suddenly have this really weird urge to drink tea all the time!"

Willow giggled at that then said, "I still can't believe you went as a vampire, Xander."

"Hey, from the description they sounded cool. And he didn't try to kill you, did he?"

The redhead blinked then shook her head.

"No, actually he was a perfect gentleman."

"See," said Xander with a grin. "Good vampire. With a soul and no curse required to put it there whatsoever. OW!"

"Stop saying things about Angel," snipped Buffy.

"Okay, okay." Xander rubbed at his side and grumbled, "Watch it with those Slayery elbows, Buff."

"Sorry, Xan. Anyway I've got to get going. Willow, wanna walk?"

"Sure. See you after school, Xander!"

He nodded and waved after them, watching them go with a goofy grin. Then it faded and he turned, walking at a quick pace towards the library, entering and going immediately towards the small office nestled inside.

Giles looked up at the entrance and balked at a pair of familiar hazel eyes that flickered with sudden traces of green.

"G-man," said Xander, his voice affecting the odd lilt of Darien's, "we have a _serious_ problem."

Author's Note 

Nearly everyone that's reviewed has asked where Darien is from. He is an entirely original character and everything about him was created by me. Including the type of vampire that he is.


	2. What's Happening?

Chapter 2 

"Here," said Giles, handing Xander a freshly made cup of tea. "A rather special brew of mine. Take a sip then tell me what exactly this problem is without all the babble of earlier."

The young man winced at the mention of what had happened earlier, the teacup rattling on its saucer in reaction. There hadn't been any simple 'babble.' Giles had asked him to explain himself and he'd just started _shouting_, wanting to get everything out. And there was a four-inch deep hole above the librarian's desk now where Xander had planted his fist in the concrete wall out of frustration.

He took a careful sip of the hot liquid in the cup and felt it burn down his throat, slightly relishing the pain. After all, pain meant you were alive, didn't it?

Giles sat down in his desk chair and waited, watching Xander sip the tea with a solemn gaze from behind his glasses. After a few moments the youth placed the still half-full cup and saucer on the desk then looked up at the librarian who was slowly turning into more of a father than his own. This movement gave him sight of the fresh hole in the wall and he mumbled a hasty apology, dark hair falling over his eyes as he ducked his head.

A warm hand cupped his shoulder then and he looked up into Giles' eyes, seeing only concern there.

Ducking his head again, he began to speak softly.

"I know everyone else doesn't remember much of Halloween night when they were in costume…not even Wills and she knew what was going on. But I'm the odd man out I guess."

Giles' eyes widened behind his glasses and he gasped, "Good Lord, you can't mean you…"

"Yeah," replied Xander, shaking his head. "I can remember everything. Everything that he – that Darien - did. And that's not all."

The youth looked up at the older man and continued, "I can remember everything about him. When he was born, when he was Turned, what it felt like, when he stopped being a ruthless killer - _everything_."

"Good Lord…"

"Oh, I haven't gotten to the best part yet," said Xander, his tone rife with sarcasm. He jerked his head towards the library doors and went on, "Buffy elbowed me outside with a good bit of Slayer strength. Sure it hurt but…"

He lifted his shirt then and the librarian slash Watcher looked on with ever-widening eyes as the bruise on the youth's side slowly turned to the darkest purple a bruise can turn before starting to shift back towards light. His eyes met Xander's for a moment, the familiar hazel now with traces of green, then and the youth said, "It's healing, Giles. It's healing just like it would have if I were Darien when he was a new vampire!"

He dropped his shirt hastily and continued in a panicky voice, "My senses have started to get a little sharper too. You…you know you're the only one I told that they did that after the thing with the hyenas. They're even better now, maybe even on par with a weaker vampire's."

"Giles…what's happening to me?" he finally gasped, looking at the librarian with a helpless gaze. "Am I…am I turning into a vampire?"

Giles slowly took off his glasses and set them aside, rubbing one hand over his eyes. When he pulled it away, he reached out and grasped Xander's upper arms with both of his hands.

"I'm uncertain what's happening to you," he said softly. At the youth's start, he clenched his fingers lightly to make him cease moving before he continued. "But we shall find out what is going on. We'll begun research tonight with Bu…"

"_No!_" shouted Xander's, eyes wide with fear. And for a moment the librarian swore they flickered with traces of a nearly white blue along the edges.

"No," repeated Xander, clenching his fists as he looked down at the floor. "I…I don't want them to worry."

Giles gave the young man sitting in front of him a sorrowful look and said, "If you _are_ changing and we can find no way to stop this, they will eventually find out."

"I know…I know. Just…can we keep it to ourselves until we know for certain? Please?"

It was the 'please' and the tone it was spoken in that made the elder man give in. He nodded slowly and said, "Very well. Now, what can you tell me about the type of vampire this Darien is? Perhaps if we know more about that it shall help us discover how to stop this and if not…"

"Someone will at least know what's going on," finished Xander. He took a deep breath then said, "Okay, I guess it's best to start at the beginning with the First. His name is Omcha and he wasn't a demon turned into a parasite like our vampires were. He was _born_ one."

"_Born?!_" gasped Giles. "But how…"

"No one knows," replied Xander. "That's just how it is. Anyway, that's pretty much all Darien knew about him. Omcha's pretty secretive about his past and only a few vampires know about it. I think his fledgling lover is the only one that knows all of it."

"So there _is_ some sort of hierarchy amongst these vampires?"

The youth nodded in response before continuing with his explanation.

"It's kinda sketchy but, yeah, there is one. Omcha makes the rules and his six main fledglings, the Elders, enforce them. He sometimes does too but that's only when a Rogue is involved."

Xander winced then and smiled sheepishly at the older man. "Sorry, getting ahead of myself."

Giles gave him a reassuring smile and said, "Quite alright. Continue."

"Okay, so…the Elders. They're Omcha's fledglings, like I said, and there's six of them. Well, technically eight but the other two are recent discoveries and they don't have any fledglings so, therefore, not Elders according to most of the vampirekin. Anyway, Kivana was the first to be turned and her twin brother Jifar after her. The head of Darien's Line, Cyclaryn, was the third. After that it was Tehran, Voschlaq, and Drier." He paused then continued, "You probably should know that the Cyclaryn Line is the strongest of the six in power."

"Has it always been as such?"

"Tehran used to be but that was mainly because they had a lot more amongst their Line but they were nearly decimated by the Dalcazen Clan a few centuries back. Everyone's of the opinion that they probably will never recover as most of the Line excepting Tehran herself and a few others are too afraid to come out in the open now."

Giles frowned at that and Xander chuckled, breaking in before the older man can speak.

"Yeah, I know, too much info too fast. Sorry. The Clan's are the Vampire Slayer's of the universe and, while they're nothing next to Buffy, they do have a few mildly enhanced traits thanks to some spells from the Sects."

"Witches I would assume?"

"Yeah."

The older man nodded slightly and Xander continued, "Okay, I guess we'll go into basics now. First off, they're strong…though you probably noticed that from the hole in the wall."

"Indeed."

"Anyway…yeah…I could guess they're a little stronger than a Slayer. And I know for certain they're a hell of a lot faster."

Giles frowned and asked, "How much faster?"

Xander winced as he replied, "So fast the human eye can't follow. Darien has gone fast enough before that vampiric eyes couldn't follow him."

"Good Lord."

"They can also move themselves mentally from and to places they've been, though the farther away, the harder the moving. Also more dangerous the further away it is. Darien's Bloodbrother once moved himself from London to Australia and got chewed out by their Sire."

Giles frowned and said, "Bloodbrother?"

"Oh, sorry." Xander sighed and explained, "Bloodbrother refers to a fledgling made by the same vampire – in Darien's case an Aztec warrior who started calling himself Malloy around the 1700's or so. He also has a Bloodsister – a Roman named Kaeli. She's the reason I actually know that statue Ethan was praying to was the god Janus."

"Perhaps you could one day map out these vampiric Lines?" asked Giles, ignoring the mention of his old friend entirely. "We'll likely never run into them but they all seemed to have interesting stories behind them.

"I could do it right now if you gave me the pen and the paper. And tell you something about all of them just about."

"Perhaps later," said Giles. "Now what exactly is this Rogue you mentioned earlier? Is that a type of vampire different from these?"

Xander winced at that and seemed to shrink in on himself. Because he knew that what he had to tell about Rogue's and Darien's relation to them wasn't going to give Giles any warm fuzzies.

"Rogue's…well, Rogue's are something else altogether. Y'know those old vampire stories where all they want to do is kill and drink blood and kill some more?"

The librarian-slash-Watcher nodded and he continued, "That's a Rogue. And…" He trailed off, trying to swallow the lump that had abruptly swelled in his throat but failing horribly.

Giles frowned then reached out and gave the youth's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. When green tinged hazel eyes filled with fear (and perhaps a trace of that icy blue along the edges again?) lifted to meet his, he softly said, "I am here to help you, no matter what it is you have to tell me, Xander. And by no means am I going to abandon you."

Xander smiled and nodded, feeling a little bit more secure in telling this one detail. It took him a moment to compose himself but he finally managed to get it out.

"Giles…Darien…he…he is – was – nearly a Rogue." He paused, trying to gather his words to explain the line that the vampire had wavered on. "There's some vampire's that are closer to the line between the regular vampire and a Rogue than others. Darien, his fledgling, his Sire, and a scattering of others amongst the other Lines are the only one's that have managed to survive over the years."

Giles looked at him for a long moment then asked, "What happened to the others?"

"Either gotten by a Slayer or lost it and were killed by an angry mob. Darien even knew of one who killed herself after she accidentally lost it because of a Slayer chasing her for four days, which caused her to kill her entire family because of the bloodlust she'd been thrown into during the chase. She had been looking after them for the past two hundred years and she killed them because of one Slayer."

"Good Lord…and you think that you too will be near this line?"

Xander sighed, shaking his head.

"G-man, it looks like I'm technically becoming Darien so, yeah, I'd say I'll get this too. Luckily, if we can't figure out a way to stop this, he knew how to mostly keep it under control."

"Only mostly?"

"Its…its sort of like a tamed wolf. You've trained it and know its loyal to you but the second you turn your back, it might just turn on you." Xander shrugged and added, "That's the explanation I remember him hearing from his Sire once, anyway."

"But," he continued, "stress can pull it out too. Someone kidnapping any member of his family, which included his lover Arana, younger brother Damon, little sister Niamh, and his fledgling Dante or someone harming them seriously could put Darien over the edge." He shrugged and added, "We're kinda the same way, I guess. 'Cause someone harming you or Buff or Wills would definitely cause me to go off the deep end."

Giles smiled at the fact that the young man in front of him cared that much before he said, "Well, let us try to keep you from going off the deep end too often, shall we?"

Xander smiled sheepishly at that, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, that's a good idea, that one. Um…I can't really think of anything else about them that's really a need to know thing. Oh, unless you want me to write down the vampire lines and also the colors for the eye changing."

The Watcher just arched an eyebrow then blinked.

"Ah," he said. "I do recall that your eyes were red whilst Darien was possessing you when we entered the shop."

"Yeah. Red's anger, if you didn't guess."

"I assumed as much. Ah…here. You can write them and explain all at the same time."

"Okay, sure," said Xander, as he took the offered legal pad and pen. Scribbling along the top to get the ink running, he jotted out a title then began to make a list of various colors.

"So, here we go. First off, there are different degrees of color of the change, depending on mood. If it's a pale color, that means the feeling is just barely there. A normal type color – say just plain Jane red – means that the feeling is there but it's not gone over the top yet, though you still better watch out. Now when the color is dark, get the hell out of Dodge because everything is about to get really nasty."

Giles nodded at this and Xander continued on.

"Now, colors. If the eyes are yellow, that's pleasure. Orange is pain and it usually has to be a good sized wound to make the color appear because of their healing abilities."

"Healing abilities?" interrupted Giles.

"I didn't mention those?" asked Xander, surprised.

"Alas, no. Although the bruise is clear evidence, I would like to hear about them."

"Um, okay, we'll get to that next. Where was I? Oh! Yeah, so, red – like I said – is anger. A nearly white blue is fear and it's really rare to see this one – there's not a lot that can make most of these vamp's afraid. Purple is remorse, another rarity as most vampires don't really give a shit anymore. Silver is greed, white means nervousness (another rarity) and lastly is pink, which means lust."

Giles nodded then asked, "And what was this about healing abilities?"

The youth frowned for a moment, looking thoughtful, before he responded.

"Okay, you know how fast Buffy heals?" he asked. When he got a nod, he continued, "Take that and double it, maybe even triple. Basic gist, a paper cut'll heal damn well immediately. A stomach ripped open, maybe a day or two depending on if the vamp drinks blood sometime in the next few hours after it was inflicted."

"Good Lord," breathed Giles. He then looked up as they heard the library doors open before turning back to Xander with a fatherly smile and a pat on the shoulder. "We'll continue this later, as I believe Buffy has arrived. Will you be alright?"

Xander nodded, replying, "Yeah. Its just…its gonna take a little getting used to, y'know?"

"I know. And I shall stand by you through this, Xander. As I am certain Buffy and Willow shall."

He left the office then to greet his Slayer, leaving Xander sitting there in his chair. After tossing the pad onto the nearby desk along with the pen, the youth buried his head in his hands, fingers knotting in his hair.

"I wish I could be as sure," he breathed, eyes glittering with tears he dared not shed. Just the thought of Buffy or Willow abandoning him was too much to bear. Especially Willow. She was still his best friend and after losing Jesse, he didn't think he could stand losing her.

There was also the looming though that if he _did_ turn into the same type of vampire as Darien, that he would eventually outlive his friends by leaps and bounds. As soon as it surfaced, he caught the thought and buried it, not willing to think about that.

Finally getting a hold on himself, he lifted his head from his hands and rose from the chair. He took a deep breath then turned and went to greet an entering Willow with a Xanderesque grin and an open arm, acting like everything was just the same.


	3. The Staggering Truth

Chapter 3 

"There aren't truly that many vampires listed here," noted Giles as he read over the chart Xander had scrawled out. He was sitting in a chair in front of his television set, having opened his home to the youth when they'd decided that the library wasn't a good place to have their discussions. Currently Xander was sitting on his couch with one arm propped on his knee, hand held flat and palm up with his gaze concentrated in the very center of it. "And what are you doing?"

"Trying to call fire," came the reply. "It's a skill some vampires have, Darien being one of them. Actually, y'know, most vampires in the Cyclaryn Line have it. Maybe it's just a trait amongst them. Cyclaryn could have been an early Hancock – fire calling witches, by the way – or just a plain pyromancer. Though I'm not exactly sure how that would've been passed along in the blood but anyway."

Giles arched an eyebrow at that and waited for a response to his statement. After a moment more Xander seemed to give up and slouched back against the couch.

"Oh, and those are basically the strongest vampires in each of the Lines on that list." The youth shrugged, continuing, "The other one's aren't really worth mentioning. At least, that's what Darien's Sire always told him."

"I see."

Giles set the list aside then and turned to regard the youth on his couch with a worried look.

"Are you quite alright, Xander?"

The young man blinked in surprise at the question then nodded vaguely, eyes looking a bit haunted.

"I really dunno," he said softly. "Turning into a vampire of any kind was never on my list of things to do after finding out about Buffy and vamp's. But…"

"But?"

"I…I think I…" Xander stopped to shake his head and started again. He leaned forward with his elbows propped on his knees and said, "There's some part of me that _does_ want the power being Darien's type of vampire could offer. I could help – and I mean _really_ help."

The Watcher/librarian smiled reassuringly as he said, "You help already, Xander. Despite how…annoying…I may sometimes find you to be with your humor, it helps more than you know."

"I know, I know. I've got no problem being humor-guy. Or doughnut-guy. But…I want desperately to do something to help. Buffy _needs_ actual help, not just our regular ole' human-type sort that usually gets us thrown aside in a fight."

Giles looked at him for a long moment then observed, "It seems you've made your choice about what you want to do."

Xander scowled slightly at that, saying, "Maybe. I don't really know what I want. Help I really want to provide if I can." He looked up then with sad eyes and finished, "But I don't want to become a vampire. I…I don't want to watch you all die."

His last statement left Giles briefly speechless and it took the man a moment to gather his words together to say something in response.

"Everyone dies someday, Xander."

"But _I_ wouldn't," pointed out the youth. He cast a downcast look at the floor then, shifting one foot restlessly. "Or I _won't_."

Now Giles was completely speechless, finding no words to speak to the troubled young man before him. The youth had a tough decision to make…possibly one that would be no choice at all should they not be able to find a way to reverse the effects of Ethan's spell. What choice Xander would make if he did have one was in the air, though the elder man sensed that if it came down to the choice of being human or helping his friends face the forces of Darkness, the youth on his couch would take the path few men would take.

He would surrender mortality for those he held dear and fight in the shadows of Darkness itself.

It took a brave soul to walk that line. And the Watcher knew from watching the young man that Xander was willing to help his friends no matter the cost. If that line needed walking, he would be the first on it and fighting tooth and nail to keep the rest of them off of it.

Rising, Giles walked over to stand next to the youth, placing a hand on his closest shoulder. When green tinged hazel eyes lifted to meet his, he gave the shoulder a reassuring squeeze. A vague hint of a smile showed in response and, while he still felt helpless, it seemed that he had given the youth some comfort.

"I'll make some more of my tea, shall I?" he softly inquired then. "It seems there's need of it again."

Xander nodded, murmuring, "Yeah."

Giles squeezed his shoulder again then moved towards the kitchen, keeping an eye on his young guest through his peripheral vision. He watched as Xander leaned back against the couch, eyes closed and his face drawn with the weight of the choice he faced.

If he knew how, he would take that weight away. But he knew that he couldn't.

All he could do was watch and be the shoulder Xander needed to lean on until he told Buffy and Willow what was going on.

And pray that the Darkness he would very likely be treading in would not consume the youth.

---

"Turn me!" shouted Ford, grasping at the collar of Xander's shirt. "_Please!_"

The dark-haired youth's face contorted in response to that plea and he pushed himself backwards away from the other youth, hands blurring slightly as they flew up to clench around the wrists near his throat. He pulled them harshly away and was shocked to hear the bones in one wrist snap. Ford gave a shout and staggered, his feet sliding out from underneath him as he did so. Xander let loose of his wrists and took a hasty step back, horrified at the situation he was in and what he'd just done.

Somehow Ford has managed to overhear a hasty conversation he'd had with Giles in the library about his possible vampirism. Everything had descended into chaos after that because now he and Ford were in a closet in the vampire-wannabe club with Buffy just outside waiting anxiously for the vampire's her old 'friend' had made a deal with to arrive. Xander, worried about her, had tailed her to the club and managed to slip in before the door had been locked. Ford had grabbed him then and dragged him into their current quarters to have a confrontation.

"No," he managed to croak as he collapsed back against the wall farthest away from the other young man on the floor. He shook his head desperately, feeling a cold hard weight settling in his gut. Would he have to deal with this if he became a vampire? These…idiots…who had no idea of what it meant to walk through the Darkness? To be cursed to that damnable life that he could remember so clearly?

"Please," gasped Ford, cradling his shattered wrist to his chest. "I've got no other choice."

Anger welled up from deep within Xander then and he growled, "Bullshit! There's other ways to make it through the world than be a blood-sucking fiend!"

Dark eyes blinked at him at that.

"But…you…"

"I never _asked_ for this," spat Xander, fully aware that his eyes were now flickering with traces of red. "And you're an idiot for wanting it."

"I'm dying," said Ford in a pitiful tone. The entire situation seemed horribly funny in a twisted way to the semi-vampire then and he began laughing hoarsely, steadying himself against the closet wall with one hand. He recovered a moment later and looked at Ford with a harsh gaze that made the other youth recoil.

Xander's upper lip curled slightly as he growled, "We all _die_…it's just a matter of when, where, and how. And one thing we often get to choose is whether we die with dignity or not. What you want…that's death too. And it's a damn undignified one."

"I don't care. If you don't turn me I'll tell Buffy what you are!"

The former Zeppo went disturbingly still at that and stared down at the other young man with a sharp gaze that had nearly no emotion behind it. Ford shivered and pushed himself back against the wall of the closet, feeling like he'd crossed a line he shouldn't have.

Xander took a slow step forward and crouched down, elbows resting on his knees. He stared eye-to-eye with Ford, his gaze still sharp but blank in a way that was frightening.

"If you breathe a word of this to Buffy," he stated in a calmly dangerous voice, "I'll make sure you never speak another word again."

Ford swallowed hard and nodded limply, wanting nothing more then than to get out of the closet and away from the youth crouching in front of him. Xander just stared at him for a moment longer then rose, opening the door of the closet then moved back into the opposite corner. The dying youth glanced from escape to threat and scrambled to his feet, fleeing from the closet like the Hounds of Hell were on his heels.

Xander left the closet then, slipping into the mass of vampire-wannabe's as they left the club past the actual vampire's. He spotted Buffy near the door with Drusilla as a captive and ducked his head, sliding back in the crowd so he was hidden behind a teen slightly taller than him. Once safely out of the club, he ducked into the shadows and stayed long enough there to make sure Buffy got out all right. He made special note that Ford wasn't anywhere amongst those outside and stretched out his senses, straining just enough to feel the youth still inside and surrounded by vampires.

Then he turned and ran, wanting nothing more than to get away from that club and what the youth still trapped inside it had represented.

---

"Buffy is going to Ford's grave tonight," Giles said as he handed a shivering Xander a towel. The youth just stared at him then turned away, using the towel to dry his sopping wet hair. Outside thunder boomed and strong winds gusted curtains of rain against the windows and the building.

The older man frowned and asked, "Where have you been, Xander?"

There was no response for a long moment then…

"Hiding."

"Hiding? Why ever for?"

Xander sighed and ceased the ministrations on his hair, letting the towel slide back to lie limply across his shoulders. He looked up at Giles then and said, "Ford overheard us somehow. When I followed Buffy to the club, he cornered me. Tried to make me turn him."

"Good Lord."

"That just…staggered me," continued the youth, gazing at the floor. "He _wanted_ to become a vampire. Sure, he was dying but to want to go to those lengths to survive…"

Giles frowned and said, "Surely Darien had seen the same in his time."

Xander nodded at that.

"Yeah. But with his vampire's I can see that whole thing coming to a happy ending of sorts. They at least get to keep their _souls_. Ours…ours have only some semblance of it. They're just…shells." He shook his head, closing his eyes as he continued, "I can't understand why someone would want to become that."

"As you said, he was dying. Death is rather like love; it can blind even the smartest of us," said Giles, resting a hand on the youth's shoulder. He then frowned and continued, "Why don't you stay here for the night? You shouldn't try to go home in this." _Nor in the state you're in_, he added to himself.

Xander nodded without protest – home wasn't someplace he wanted to go anyway. He lifted the towel to his hair again and stated, "So Buffy's going to stake Ford tonight."

The older man blinked owlishly behind his glasses at that. "How…"

"I lingered long enough to make sure Buffy got out safe before I ran, Giles. Ford didn't come out with her. Since he's dead, he probably got Turned before the vampires got out of that place."

The youth smiled slightly at the Watcher's shocked look and said, "Even I can figure that one out, G-man."

"Indeed. Well…" Giles brushed a hand back through his hair then turned towards the door as someone rang the bell. "That would be Buffy. Go get dry and sleep some, my boy. It shouldn't take us long to take care of this."

Xander nodded and turned, moving silently and in a vague blur towards the bathroom as the older man approached the door, not wanting to be in sight when Buffy was able to see into the apartment. He waited until their voices faded away and the sound of Giles' car rattled off into the distance before he started up the shower, intent on taking a hot one to get the cold out of his bones. After getting out and snagging a pair of clothes he'd left here just in case of such situations at the Watcher's insistence, he padded back out into the living room and sank down onto the couch.

The events of the previous night played through his head over and over again – as they'd done since he'd fled – and he buried his head in his hands.

Bare feet resting on a woven rug with fingers entwined tightly in his hair and nothing but silence in the apartment, he broke. His shoulders shook and he clenched his eyes shut as tears rolled down his cheeks, falling to spatter on the floor. And, because of who he was and who Darien had been, he never made a sound.

Things were falling apart.

And they were going to get worse long before they got better.


	4. A Foiled Hunt

Chapter 4 

Xander was hunting.

Not humans of course – luckily he hadn't yet inherited Darien's bloodlust. Giles took that as a hopeful sign. He figured it meant they still had the opportunity to reverse what was happening to the teen.

Xander, on the other hand, had given up hoping. He'd settled himself to the fact that he'd probably end up fully becoming a vampire and was thankful it was Darien's type not the one they fought. After all, he'd finally figured out fire calling and was working on the shape shifting also inherent in the vampires. And his speed had increased nearly three times in the months since the incident with Buffy's old friend Ford, which meant he could move about as fast as Buffy could. He had gotten control of his increased strength fully and during almost every spare moment he had, he was working on further control of it and everything else.

So, whilst Buffy was off doing whatever, he was out prowling the town with a sword borrowed from Giles and a stake in the inner pocket of his jacket. Ironically the same jacket he'd not worn since the thing with the Pack but now…well, now he was a hunter again so why not bring back out that jacket?

Though he wasn't exactly sure what he was hunting looked like.

The Order of Taraka was in town and had their sights on killing Buffy, so Giles had told him. Which was the reason he was out hunting and just what he was out hunting.

He paused abruptly on a rooftop, one foot in the air to continue his leap to the next as he saw someone below him. The woman was dark-skinned and she knew how to handle herself…he could tell that from how she moved thanks to Darien. She also had something of that same presence as Buffy twisting around her, he noticed.

Though what was someone like her doing in Sunnydale? And leaving Willy's no less? Was she a Slayer?

Frowning, he waited until she was gone and bounded over the rooftops to Willy's, dropping off the roof to land in a crouch in front of a demon. It stared at him blankly for a moment, cigarette dangling from its tusked mouth, before taking off with a shrill scream of panic when he growled threateningly at it. He watched it go for a moment then stepped into Willy's, heading straight for the weasel of a man behind the bar.

"Hello, Willy," he said with a smirk, leaning casually on the counter. "Out of curiosity, who was the beauty that just left your humble place of business here? She definitely wasn't a vamp and I know no vanilla human is welcome here. Except you, of course."

The bartender grimaced at the youth leaning on the counter then set down the glass he'd been polishing. Being on the up and up in the demon world gave Willy information…and he just exactly what was happening to the youth in front of him. He wasn't certain what the kid was turning into but demons had been telling stories for about a month of a male Slayer. And the vampire's were starting to get antsy too, saying that something new was in town and it scared them more than the Slayer because it wasn't at full strength yet.

"Dunno, kid," he said, hoping he could make the brat leave. "Probably was a vamp. You just mistook her for a human."

"Heh."

Willy figured the kid would leave then, letting the night end in peace. No such luck. He abruptly found himself with his face smashed against his bar, held there with an iron grip as the kid bent over him with a grim look on his face.

"I really don't have time to mess around tonight, Willy," growled the youth. "The Order of Taraka…oh, yeah, you've heard of them…are after Buffy. So tell me who the woman was and I'll be out of your way after you then include on whatever you know about the Order."

The weasel of a man gave then and spilled everything, saying the woman was a Slayer and anything he knew about the Order. Then he paused and mumbled something about Angel and the backroom.

Xander frowned for a long moment then released the man, tossing a pair of twenties on the counter. Darien had learned over the years that paying people who knew things meant they'd come to you sometimes with stuff they knew. It also helped if they were scared of you, which the youth was fair certain the bartender was now.

"Thanks, Willy. I appreciate the information."

He then strode into the backroom and was mildly surprised to see Angel there, huddled in a corner as the first shafts of sunlight began to spill in. The vampire looked up and paled before gasping, "Xander…great."

"Hey, give some love, Deadboy," growled the youth. "I'm the only one that knows you're here and, despite the fact that I hate your guts for more reasons than I care to count, I'm gonna help you out."

He pulled back to kick open the door of the cage the vampire was trapped in then froze as he heard, "Why?"

Xander stared stonily at him and replied, "Because Buffy would hate me if I didn't." He then snapped out a kick, throwing the steel door open and partially off its hinges. "Damn," he muttered afterwards, admiring his handiwork, "I didn't mean to kick it that hard."

Angel stared for a moment then scrambled up, moving swiftly out of the cage to escape the approaching sunlight. He then turned to Xander when he was safely away from any current approach of the rising sun and asked, "How did you do that?"

"Karate." Which was true enough. Darien had learned it at some point during the 1700s during a trip to Japan – he never fully put it into use, though, preferring to just implement it into his own fighting style. And it was a good enough explanation for his increased strength that he could think of.

The vampire didn't look convinced and was going to continue questioning him but Xander snapped, "Look, don't worry about it. I didn't do anything stupid and its nothing to worry Buffy over. Now if you don't get moving, you're going to get scorched when the sun comes fully up. Then I'd have saved your butt for no reason and Buffy would _still_ be pissed at me even though your stupidity killed you."

Angel stared at him and he was about to snap again when the other man asked, "You don't want Buffy to know."

"No, I don't. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell her. I'm going to but I'm going to do it my way and at my own sweet time."

"I can respect that."

_Yay, respect from the dead guy_, thought Xander, now overly annoyed that he'd been delayed from his hunt and that he was in his least favorite person's presence. It didn't help either that he could feel the unholy presence of the demon in the vampire burning just at the edge of his senses and making him antsy. "Whatever. Just get out of her and find someplace you won't burn to a crisp. I'm gone."

With that he stalked out, leaving Angel to stare after him and blink as he snarled and punched a Polgara demon in the face as the thing tried to kill him, sending it staggering. The vampire frowned after the youth and muttered, "Something's not right," before he turned and headed down into Willy's basement where there was an entrance to the sewers.

---

"So no Angel, no making Drusilla what she once was, right?" asked Willow, looking curiously at Giles.

The Watcher cleaned his glasses as he nodded, responded, "Correct. We are very lucky that Angel was able to keep himself out of their grasp. Drusilla was quite a terror when she was at full strength – having her back there could be disastrous."

Angel, standing in a dark corner, shrugged, saying, "It was nothing." He then glanced briefly over at Xander, who was reclining in one of the library chairs with his feet propped on the table. The youth didn't turn to meet his gaze but he knew it was there.

"So now what?" asked Xander. "I mean, the Order is still out there. Plus I think Spike's going to be pissed about not getting Deadboy in his slimy little grasp."

Buffy waved his comments off with a, "The Order doesn't matter. Giles, can Spike use anyone else to bring Drusilla back to full strength?"

"No, it has to be her sire," replied the Watcher. He then looked at Xander, who appeared annoyed, and added, "Also, Buffy, the Order is nothing to scoff at. Yes, one of them has been felled but there are still others out there. They are a very real threat."

"So let's take care of them," said the blonde. She looked at Kendra standing next to her and continued, "Two Slayer's should be enough, right?"

Xander almost found himself staring at her, his brain numbed into shock. Did she think herself immune to the danger of the Order? They were _assassins_ for God's sake. What did she think they were, a bunch of freshly risen fledglings she could get an easy stake out of?

Giles slammed a book down on the table, making everyone in the room jump. He glowered at Buffy then growled out words with Ripper in his voice.

"Under no circumstances are you – either of you – going after the Order. They are dangerous and we stand a much better chance against them by staying together and not going off on some fool's crusade!"

Buffy pouted and said, "But, Giles, that'll put Willow and Xander into danger."

"Danger's no problem!" piped Willow, her face marred by a frown. "We've faced plenty of dangerly dangerous things."

"Exactly," growled Xander, rising to his feet. He placed both hands on the table and leaned over, locking gazes with Buffy. "We're not going anywhere, Buffy. You should know by now that we're here for the long haul and no matter the danger we're gonna stay here."

"But…"

"No buts. That's it. That's how it going to be. Us, behind you, no matter what. Right, Wills?"

"Right!" chirped the redhead, bobbing to her feet next to her best friend. She stared at Buffy and asked, "That okay?"

The blonde stared at them then smiled tightly, nodding.

"Thanks, guys."

Xander shrugged at that and said, "We're here to knock sense into you. So, G-man, we going to camp out here and wait for the bad guys or elsewhere where we don't have to watch out for the Hallway Troll?"

"We won't have to go anywhere," said Angel abruptly, moving out of the shadows. "They're here."

There was silence then everyone sprang into motion, minds sliding into battle mode. Buffy and Kendra both drew their stakes whilst Angel took up a post behind them, ready to fight from the shadows of the sunlit library. Giles grabbed a short sword and retreated behind the library counter with Willow, who had a magic book clutched to her chest.

Xander scowled mildly and tried to look like he'd used to before he'd started working on getting his body into shape and relearning how to fight via Darien's memories.

The remaining assassin's exploded into the room from the back of the library then and battle was joined. Between the two Slayer's, the vampire, and Xander occasionally getting in a hit at full-power when the others weren't looking, the Order of Teraka went down pretty easily.

With a beating of an enemy was an all right way to end the day.

---

"Slaying isn't a job. It's who you are," muttered Buffy as she stood outside the Bronze waiting for Willow and Xander to arrive. "What's that mean?"

"Means you've been going about it all wrong, Buff."

The blonde jumped at the voice and spun, exclaiming, "Jeez, Xander, put some bells on your pants next time." She didn't even wonder about how he'd managed to sneak up on her without her noticing.

Her friend frowned and looked down at the ragged ends of his jeans, which hung over the tops of his battered sneakers. "Y'know, I don't think I can put bells on these." When she laughed, he grinned and said, "Anyway, who told you the Slaying job you are thing?"

"Kendra," replied the Slayer. "Right before she left. I've been trying to figure out just what she meant."

Xander sighed and said, "She meant just what she said, Buff. For as long as I've known you, you've treated Slaying like it's a job. Like its something you just decided to up and do one day. But its not…Slaying is what you're _meant_ to do. That's how she treats it."

Buffy stared at him for a long moment then smiled and asked, "When'd you get so smart, Xan?"

He shrugged and replied, "Always had 'em. I just prefer to not use them."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one, I'd have been competing with Willow then and she's disliked competition since fifth grade, so that was out. Two, Jessie would've been completely left behind. I didn't want him to be lonely."

The blonde looked at him for a long moment at that and he was about to start fidgeting nervously when she moved forward and hugged him. He blinked in confusion then grinned and wrapped an arm loosely about her shoulders.

"What's this for?" he asked, looking curiously down at her.

She looked up at him and replied, "For being a good friend. Don't ever change."

Xander paled a little but was certain she never noticed. He smiled down at her and said, "I won't, Buff."

_I won't ever change_, he thought, a cold feeling slipping into his gut as Willow arrived and they made their way into the Bronze. _And one day you'll notice._


	5. What Have I Become?

Chapter 5 

Xander awoke from after the ordeal with the bezoar with a sluggish brain and a sharp cramp in his stomach. He had been attacked by the little creature from his egg but had sensed it before it lunged at him, immolating it in an abrupt flash of fire from his hand. Then he'd avoided everyone as he'd gone hunting for the source of the thing, never finding it until he ran into a vampire rushing from the school. After staking him, he saw Buffy and the rest of the gang emerging from the basement, the blonde covered in black ichor. That settled for him that everything was fine and he headed home, falling asleep the moment he'd climbed back in his bedroom window.

He sat up slowly, blinking as he looked around his room. Everything was blurry in a way it shouldn't be since his eyesight had become sharp enough to see the hairs on Willow's head from three blocks away. His head swam as he moved to stand and he groaned, slumping back down onto the bed with his head in his hands.

His stomach cramped then, the pain sharp and as fierce as a hot poker. As he grimaced and wrapped his arm around his torso, he realized just what was going on. It was different to how Darien had experienced it as an hours old fledgling but it was the same in general.

He was starting to feel the need for blood.

Grimacing as one of the traits he'd feared was becoming reality, he forced himself to his feet and moved to his window, climbing out. He was halfway down when the pain hit even more fiercely and he lost his grip, falling rather ungracefully to the ground.

"Shit," he muttered as he got to his feet, one arm hugging his stomach. He glanced up at the window then ran, praying that Giles hadn't decided to go out anywhere on a Saturday morning.

When he arrived at the Watcher's apartment, he was breathing hard and trying to stop his limbs from shaking. He'd run as quickly as he was able to make it there, which had probably not been a good idea on his part. Since the bloodlust was starting to kick in, his powers were going to start relying on it to power them. Using them much more in his current state could possibly send him over into bloodlust, which could lead to the Rogue coming out…and he wasn't certain he would be able to come back from that. And here there was no Omcha or the Elders to stop him if he did.

Slumping against the doorframe, he rang the bell then closed his eyes, trying to slow his frantic breathing. When the door opened, he looked up and tried to smile at Giles, who was staring at him in horror.

"Good Lord…what happened?"

"Not a matter of what's happened, G-man," replied Xander. "S'matter of what's _happening._"

Giles frowned then said, "It's setting in – the need for blood."

"Yeah," grunted the youth, struggling to pull himself back to standing. He wobbled and the Watcher caught him, carefully ushering him into the apartment and towards the couch. Xander sat and leaned back, gulping in a sharp breath against a new burst of pain. "Probably means that even if we did find a way to reverse this, I'd be too far gone."

Silence answered him then Giles asked, "What do you need?"

"Blood," replied Xander. "Doesn't matter what kind." He scowled and added, "You'd probably do best to call up Deadboy."

"Xander, he…"

"He probably already suspects something, Giles. I'm the one that got him loose at Willy's before Spike could get hold of him."

Giles nodded then said, "He may not be able to make it here before sunset. And then we risk Buffy or Willow coming here and finding you like this."

Xander frowned then looked up, saying, "Let's go there then. 'Cause I know I won't make it till sunset. Maybe earlier when I woke up but not after the stupid stunt I pulled to get over here."

"What stunt was this?" asked the older man as he helped the youth up and out towards his car.

"Using powers. With the need for blood kicking in, they're going to start running from that and not me. Plus they'll start moving back up to full power."

"I suppose that is a good thing."

Xander shrugged as he settled into the passenger seat, saying, "Depends on your point of view, I think. Though this is going to make this a lot harder to hide from Buffy and Willow."

Giles nodded as he started the car and pulled out of the driveway onto the road. Then, as he began to drive in the direction of Angel's home after Xander rattled off the address, he said, "There is also the matter of if we can trust him to keep his mouth shut."

"He will," said Xander, very sure of that fact.

The older man looked at him in surprise and the youth smiled wryly, explaining, "I'm trying to help Buffy. Though we both dislike each other, he's not going to tell her. 'Cause even he knows how she'd react."

Giles nodded and they fell into silence during the rest of the drive, the elder man driving in a slightly wild fashion and the youth in the passenger seat wincing as his pain continued to increase. When they arrived at Angel's home, the Watcher pulled Xander out of the car and helped him to the door, banging his fist on it with a harsh expression on his face. The man knew well enough what would happen if the youth lost it and he was determined to get help.

Even if he had to threaten the ensouled vampire with a stake and a cross.

Angel opened the door, blinking sleepily at them and shaking his head. Then he frowned at Xander as his vision cleared and muttered, "You look like Hell."

"Thanks, Deadboy," grunted the youth, wincing as a new wave of pain came from his stomach, this one sharper than the previous one's. He was getting worse and a presence in the back of his mind was starting to stir from where it had settled a few weeks after Halloween. "Now, if you don't mind, we've got a problem only you can solve."

Giles pushed past the vampire into the apartment, easing Xander down onto the couch. Angel followed and asked the man, "What's wrong with him?"

The Watcher frowned and whipped off his glasses, cleaning them roughly. He then slid them back on and looked harshly at the vampire, Ripper clearly in his gaze.

"You met Xander during Halloween, correct?"

"Yes," replied the vampire nervously. "He threatened to tear me limb from limb. Why?"

"Xander has been slowly transforming into that type of vampire since that time," said Giles, not blinking at the surprised look Angel cast towards the youth. "All has been fine until now. He…"

Angel held up a hand as he stared at Xander, taking in the youth's pained expression and pale skin. He recalled him kicking open a well-locked iron cage with little effort and put everything together.

"Blood," he said. "I should have recognized the need for it."

Xander laughed and said, "Doubt you could've. My kind and yours…they're at two different ends of the world."

"Bloodlust is bloodlust," said Angel harshly. He turned and walked into his kitchen, opening the refrigerator to pull out three packets of blood. Walking back into the room, he thrust one at Xander with, "Here. Don't know what it is besides human but I doubt you care."

"No," said Xander, taking the packet gingerly. He looked at it for a long moment, a frown marring his face as he stared at it. If someone were crouching next to him, they would have seen his canines extend down into fangs and dig into his lower lip.

Giles moved forward at the youth's pause and touched his shoulder, causing him to look up. He noted the fangs but didn't blanch – he still didn't want to accept this was the fate of the brave young man in front of him but he would go along with it. Squeezing his shoulder reassuringly, he softly said, "You have to do this."

The youth nodded and slowly lifted the packet, his hands shaking slightly. He looked at it for a moment to try and figure out how to best work with it then finally just shrugged and bit the plastic. His fangs sliced it open easily and Xander thought he would gag the moment the blood touched his tongue, giving him a mild reprieve from the horror he felt.

No such luck.

His brain might as well have exploded in that next instant, that moment when the cold plasma ran over his tongue and down his throat. It was like he had been dying of thirst and had been given water out of nowhere.

The blood was gone in a matter of moments but the intaking of it only served to strengthen his pain, not make it subside. He turned with a growl and found another packet thrust under his nose, which he immediately tore into and devoured. The third let his pain subside and his mind settle, allowing him to come back to himself.

He stared in curiosity at the dark stains on his hands then looked up into the disturbed faces of Giles and Angel with a grimace.

"More," he breathed, hating himself for saying it. "God dammit, I need more."

The ensouled vampire nodded and retreated to the kitchen again, shuffling about there for longer than he needed to. Xander slumped over on the couch, head against the armrest with his bloodstained hands clasped at the back of his neck. Giles moved towards him, one hand out, and began, "Xander, I…"

"Leave," said the youth hoarsely. He then winced and looked up, green-tinged hazel eyes swirling with violet, saying, "Please, Giles…just…just go. I can't…I…"

"I understand," said the Watcher softly. He stretched out his hand over Xander's head but never touched him, withdrawing it as his fingertips lightly brushed the dark hair. "I'll come pick you up at sunset."

The bowed head nodded and Giles looked up at Angel, who stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He gave the vampire a look that clearly promised injury if he did anything to harm Xander in any way then turned and left. When the sound of his car vanished into the distance, Angel moved to crouch near the youth, a steaming mug in his hands.

"Here," he said in an almost gentle way, setting it on the nearby coffee table. "It's not much like the real thing but it's a far cry better than sucking it cold like you did earlier."

"Thanks," came a mumble from against the couch. Then the dark head lifted and stared at him with a frown, pale face marred by the splatter of dark blood across a thin mouth. "You…you won't…"

Angel shook his head, knowing what that young man wanted to know. "I won't breathe a word to Buffy," he assured him.

Xander nodded then reached for the mug, grimacing at it before lifting it to his mouth. He sipped lightly and his hand shook, a nervous shudder that ran all the way down his arm. Angel watched him for a moment then rose, moving away to give the youth some space. But he was stopped by the younger man's voice before he got very far away.

"Yo, Deadboy."

He paused and turned slightly, one eyebrow arched. Xander wasn't looking at him but he could see the strained expression on the youth's face from the side.

"Thanks."

Angel looked at him for a long moment then said, "You're welcome." He then continued on into his bedroom, sinking down onto the bed with a sigh. While he didn't understand how this was happening, he couldn't bring himself to kick the youth out. Sure, he wanted to but…he remembered how it has felt the first time bloodlust had set in and he'd been caught unawares.

And judging from what Giles had said, Xander wasn't even entirely a vampire yet. He couldn't begin to imagine the horror of slowly turning into something you'd been fighting for over a year.

This was why he wouldn't tell Buffy. He didn't like Xander but he wasn't about to go telling Buffy something she wouldn't want to hear about one of her best friends. Especially not about the one that she was certain would never change no matter how much he went through.

---

"You get the hell away from her," growled Xander, keeping himself between Willow and Angel…no, not Angel. He hated the guy but he knew he'd never attack any of them – he loved Buffy too much to hurt those she loved. Therefore…this wasn't Angel.

Angel smirked and said, "Oh what will the little puppy do? Bare his fangs at me and growl?"

"Xander," breathed Willow nervously.

"Get out of here, Wills," he hissed, not looking at her, as he knew his eyes were glowing red. No one threatened his Willow. _No one!_ "Run to the library and get Giles."

She stared, unmoving, until he snapped, "_Go!_" He heard her feet echoing back to him as she sprinted down the hallway and Angel smirked, moving to go past him.

"Why don't you get out of the way, little puppy? I've got a little redh…"

A hand around his throat cut him off and shoved him into the nearby wall of lockers and hissed as another hand held up a cross. Eyes that blazed a fierce red glared at him in anger and he actually found himself a little afraid.

Xander bared his teeth, fangs flashing, and snarled, "I don't know what happened but if you _ever_ threaten her again, I promise I'll kill you." He then pressed the cross against the vampire's cheek for a moment then flung him down the hallway, the muscles in his arm aching at the motion.

Angel rose with a snarl, the imprint on the cross blazing crimson on his vampiric face. He then looked down the hallway and smiled, saying, "Looks like your cavalry's arrived. Better put away the fangs, boyo. The redhead won't like them too much."

The youth growled and watched with a cold gaze as Angel retreated, leaving him to close his eyes and get himself calm before Giles and Willow arrived. He heard them before they reached him and turned to greet him, cross still clenched in his left hand.

"You're okay!" exclaimed Willow, rushing towards him and throwing her arms about him. He hugged her back and just smiled when she hit him, saying, "I can't believe you!"

"I'm okay, Wills," said Xander with a smile. He then looked at Giles and added, "We have a problem."

The Watcher nodded, saying, "So Willow informed me." He looked towards the slowly closing door that led out of the school and towards the outside. "So Angel is no longer Angel. Which means he has reverted to Angelus…which I fear means we are all in grave danger."

"How could this happen?" asked Willow, frowning.

"I truly don't know," replied Giles. He then laid a hand on Xander's shoulder and said, "But come. I'll drive you two home. With this…its not safe for any of us to be walking at night."

The two teenagers went with him and Willow was dropped off first, Xander seeing her straight to her door and inside. When he returned to the car, he looked at Giles and growled, "I really don't care what happened to turn him bad. What I'm worried about is what the bastard will tell Buffy about me."

Giles frowned as he drove towards his apartment – Xander had started staying there after he'd started needing blood and his parents had yet to notice – and said, "Whatever he tells her or implies about you, we can very likely keep her from finding out the truth then. But not for much longer after that."

He shook his head, sighing.

"It appears that you won't be able to hide for much longer, my boy."

"Yeah," said Xander, leaning back in the passenger seat. He scowled and shook his head, saying, "Like we didn't have enough to work against with the Judge put together now. Which is something else we need to figure out how to stop."

"As we found in my books, no weapon forged can kill him."

The youth frowned then smiled, holding his hand up with the palm facing the sky. A small fireball blossomed there and swirled around in a circle, casting an orange glow in the car. He tilted his head and stared at it thoughtfully for a moment before speaking.

"No weapon forged…" he murmured. Then he looked at Giles and said, "What about my fire? That's something never seen in this world."

Giles looked at him then stared thoughtfully at the road, his lips pursed. After a long moment he nodded slightly.

"I think you may be on to something," he said softly. "But what…"

"This can burn _anything_, Giles," hissed Xander, closing his hand around the flame, making it sputter out. "I've seen it reduce an entire body to ash in a matter of moments, leaving nothing behind. So long as I can get Buffy and Wills distracted, I can make a big enough fireball that'll reduce the Judge into nothing."

The Watcher nodded and smiled slowly as he pulled up near his apartment.

"My boy," he said, "I believe we now have a plan."

---

"Holy shit," breathed Xander as he watched the Judge scream as the fireball hit and roiled over him, sparking and hissing as it found fuel. "It worked!"

He then felt a hand on his arm and was spun around where he'd been hiding behind a column to stare straight into Drusilla's eyes. Dark stared into dark and the insane vampiress let out a shrill scream at whatever she saw in his eyes. Shoving her away, he backpedaled into the main area of the mall where Giles and Willow were standing safe and sound.

Buffy came walking up then and frowned as she got near them, looking around curiously.

"What's wrong, Buffy?" asked Willow worriedly.

"I don't know. Feels like…feels kind of like there's still a vamp around but its…different."

Giles' eyes darted towards Xander, who was doing his best to look nonchalant at this new development. Not only did he now have Angelus out on the town with his secret, it looked like Buffy was starting to be able to sense him.

His ass was so screwed…


	6. Death Rides on Swift Wings

Chapter 6 

"What did you do with Xander?"

"Buffy, for God's sake, I _am_ Xander!"

The blonde shook her head, hand clenching about the stake in her hand. She looked at him sadly and whispered, "No, you're the thing that killed him."

She charged at him then with a pained cry and Xander gasped, as he made no move to fight, allowing the stake to pierce his heart. As he fell to his knees, he looked up at her with a sad smile.

"You have no idea of the truth," he breathed before he collapsed, dead at her feet.

Buffy awoke with a scream of agony and pain, waking up her mother and several of their neighbors with the piercing cry. She sat, shuddering and hugging herself, trying to figure out what her dream was trying to tell her.

Of late Angel had haunted her dreams but tonight…tonight it was Xander.

But why had she dreamed he was a vampire?

She continued to ask that question even as her mother burst into the room and she told her that it was nothing.

Only a nightmare.

---

Xander looked sadly at the police tape still cordoning off Giles' apartment door, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. He glanced towards where the man was sitting in his car and winced, wishing he'd decided to stay in last night rather than going out. If he had been there, he might have been able to stop Angelus once and for all.

If he had been there, he also might have been able to stop Giles' rush to get revenge that could have resulted in his death if Buffy hadn't gone after him.

Sighing, he shook his head, knowing that wishes weren't going to change anything that had happened. Ms. Calendar was dead and the man who had taken him in was hurting more than he could imagine. No…no, not more than he could imagine.

He could remember Darien's feelings when his lover Kay was killed. Hell, at the beginning of this whole mess he'd woken up from nightmares about her, unable to remember whether he was Darien or Xander for a moment, and sobbed himself back to sleep. Therefore he was pretty sure he could understand Giles' pain better than anyone.

The Watcher was beside him then and they stood, staring at the closed door for a long moment drenched in silence. Then the man sighed and breathed, "I couldn't kill him."

Xander looked at him and lifted a hand, placing it lightly on his shoulder.

"I could."

Giles looked up and stared at Xander, who had just practically given him an offer. If the man wanted, the youth would hunt down Angelus and kill him without a moment's hesitation. And even though the powers he had inherited from Darien still weren't fully formed yet, he was a formidable opponent even to a vampire like Angelus.

"No," breathed the older man, shaking his head. He abruptly pulled the youth into a brief hug then held him back at arms length. "I won't have you do it. He's a monster. I won't have you becoming one by killing him."

_I am a monster._

The words lingered on Xander's tongue like acid, burning and begging to be spoken. But he swallowed them and bid them away to a dark place within him, willing himself to keep that deeply buried for now.

"Okay," he said with a nod. Then he fumbled with the key Giles had given him and opened the door to the apartment, stepping back after he'd done so. He stood and waited for the Watcher to enter, a moment that stretched out for an age. Or one that seemed to at least.

The older man stared into the apartment for a long moment then entered, looking around. Everything from the night before had been cleaned up and tossed out – Xander's sole doing when he found out. Giles nodded and quoted, "Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it's all over much too soon."

"Woody Allen?" questioned Xander as he closed the door. When Giles gave him a surprised look, he shrugged and said, "My mom likes the man."

The Watcher then nodded and said, "Yes. Quite true, isn't it?"

Xander shrugged, hands stuffed in his pockets again, and replied, "I can't say myself. But…Darien would probably tell you you're right." He then smiled sadly, adding, "He'd also say that we all manage to move on past death. It's the unlucky one's that have to live after it."

"True."

There was a stiff silence in the apartment then Xander started towards the kitchen, saying, "Y'know what…I think we need tea."

Giles blinked then smiled slightly and said, "Yes, I think we do."

The youth felt better at having seen the man smile and began bustling about the kitchen, which he knew well enough from having to make his own meals half the time. All the while as he fixed tea, however, he was going over in his mind ways to kill Angelus slowly.

---

Xander hovered worriedly behind Willow as she set about to perform the ritual that would supposedly restore Angel's soul. He wasn't too fond of the idea but had to agree that Angel was a far cry better than Angelus.

The former one didn't make him constantly worry about being found out.

He glanced towards Kendra standing at the library doors as the ritual actually started up then frowned. Something was on the prowl at the edge of his senses…like wolves on the hunt. Cursing his lack of Darien's prowess at reaching out great distance with his mind to discover exactly who was around, he started towards the doors.

Just as he almost reached them, they attacked.

He forced himself to fight like he would were he still human, taking the occasional punch as he dived past vampire's guards to thrust a stake into their heart. It was difficult but nothing he couldn't handle by putting his mind to it.

Then he heard Willow yell and spun around in time to see a bookshelf fall on her, leaving her lying limp underneath it. His blood boiled at the sight and he gave up the ruse, launching himself at the vampire that had dropped the heavy piece of furniture on his best friend with a snarl. The vampire grinned and reached out to bat him aside effortlessly…surprised to have his arm caught in an iron grip. Xander's hand flashed forward with his stake, burying it entirely in the vampire's torso and leaving his hand bloody. He abandoned the stake as that vampire coughed and dusted, moving across the room in a blur to take on others.

Then he heard a cry and turned, seeing Drusilla standing near Kendra, the dark-skinned Slayer appearing hypnotized by the crazy vampiress. He cried out wordlessly and dashed across the library in a blur only to catch Kendra's limp body before it hit the ground and dart backwards, away from the vampiress. Crouching, he clamped his hand over the wound in her throat, trying to stop the flow of blood that gushed out. He would have used fire to seal the wound shut but he wasn't that great with it right now and would more likely end up burning her entire throat away.

He then felt a touch on his cheek and looked up, shocked to find Drusilla's face mere inches from his own. Over her shoulder, he saw the two remaining vampire's dragging Giles' unconscious form out of the library – and he could do nothing about it unless he conceded to letting Kendra die.

"Different but the same," purred the mad vampiress, her cold face caressing his cheek. "And powerful, powerful, powerful – like the sun, blazing so bright! A beautiful, shining kitten. You ought to come home with Mummy and join our happy family."

Xander glared at her, his red-flecked gaze icy as a northern wind.

"Go fuck yourself, Dru," he snarled.

Drusilla pouted at that then shrugged. "Kitten doesn't want to play. Oh well…Daddy has enough playmates anyway."

He growled and she giggled, patting his head before she headed after her minions.

"Be good, kitten," she called over her shoulder. "Don't drink anyone you shouldn't!"

Xander snarled after her then looked down at Kendra, who was looking pale and he could feel her slipping away. The pulse point in her throat, right underneath his fingers, was slowing ever steadily – and he was unaware of his fangs extending in response to the scent of blood filling the air. He tried concentrating as best he could and called fire to seal the wound in her throat but that didn't help – thought he hadn't burned through her neck as he'd worried at first. She had already lost too much blood, most of which covered his hand and left stains on his pants.

Help wouldn't get there in time.

She would die.

Anger, rage, and a healthy helping of sorrow welled up in Xander's chest, forcing its way out of his throat in a scream of agony. When it faded, he became aware of Buffy standing in the doorway, shock written across her face as she stared at him. It was then he became aware of his red-flooded eyes and extended fangs, making him rise to his feet.

"Buffy," he said softly.

She stared then looked down at Kendra's body before raising her eyes to him again.

"Why?"

The question rocked him back and he took a step forward, saying, "Buffy, I didn't kill her. Drusilla was here with minions. Willow's hurt…she killed Kendra…and they took Giles. I…"

"Shut up," she hissed, drawing out a stake and holding it threateningly towards him. "Just shut up and let me stake you."

"Buffy," he hissed, taking a step back, carefully avoiding Kendra's body. "Buffy, listen to me…"

"_Shut up!_"

She lunged at him and he caught her wrists easily, pulling her against him where she sagged and began to cry. He winced and slowly lowered her to the ground, shaking his head and whispering, "I'm sorry."

Then, before she could react, he stepped around her and was gone in a blur of motion.


	7. All Ends With Such Sweet Sorrow

Chapter 7 

Xander, pale and dressed in dark clothes, leaned against the wall of Willow's room, watching her until she woke. He'd hidden when Buffy had come visiting and wasn't surprised when he reentered the room to find Oz threatening him with a stake. The werewolf had, at least, allowed him to explain himself and actually believed him.

That was one down. Now he just had to get Willow and Buffy to believe him.

"Hey, man."

He blinked and looked up towards Oz, who was giving him a worried look. "Yeah?"

"You smell…odd."

Xander blinked then winced as his stomach growled, causing Oz to arch an eyebrow. He smiled tightly and explained, "Haven't eaten in a few days. But I'll be fine for a few more hours." His eyes drifted towards Willow's limp form as he added, "I want to see her wake up first."

The werewolf nodded at that and silence fell between them. Then the quieter youth spoke up again.

"So…what exactly is the deal? You're a vampire but not?"

"Not yet," replied Xander, shifting uneasily. "Not entirely. I can use most of the skills of Darien's kind and have to drink blood." He held up a hand and studied it for a moment before finishing, "But, as far as I can tell, I haven't stopped aging yet. Though I'm expecting that one any day now."

Oz frowned and nodded then jumped up as Willow stirred. He leaned over her and Xander joined him, both of their gazes intent on her face.

"Wills?" queried the semi-vampire.

Lashes fluttered and Willow's eyes opened, blinking a few times before turning to regard them. She smiled and said, "Hi."

Oz bent and kissed her forehead, smiling, while Xander just gripped her hand before saying, "I'll go tell a nurse you're awake." He left the room and did that but didn't go back in. When he'd told Oz everything, he'd given him permission to tell Willow. Maybe she'd believe it better coming from her boyfriend.

He strode purposefully through the bleak hospital halls, a sure purpose in mind and a plan slowly forming. Giles' apartment was his first stop, where he could get the blood he needed and weapons. Then his second stop was going to be the factory.

Angelus needed to be stopped.

And if Buffy wasn't going to do it, he was.

---

"Buffy, what's going on?"

Xander, bleeding and crouched on one knee in a doorway, leaned on his borrowed sword and watched this new scene with sad eyes. Angel had been brought back…but Acathla had opened behind him, ready to draw the whole world into Hell.

He watched as Buffy kissed him and told him to close his eyes. And he winced, looking away as she thrust her sword through him, pinning him to the statue and the whirlpool. He could not stand to watch such a scene – it raised memories from Darien of him having to kill his lover Kay, brought into the unlife by his own Bloodbrother without the knowledge of anyone and gone mad.

After a moment he got to his feet and walked over to Buffy, who was sitting on the floor crying. He bent to one knee next to her, gingerly placing a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and started crying harder at the sight of him – obviously at the thought of her having to kill him too now that she had the opportunity.

Shaking his head, Xander said, "I can't ask you to understand this now, Buff. When…when you're ready, I'll tell you everything. Promise."

Then he got up and walked out, knowing that she was going to leave. Her mind was unshielded and her thoughts wild, so he had easily been able to slip in and see what she was planning to do next. It wasn't something he would have done in any other circumstance, viewing violating anyone's mind as a crime.

He walked outside and stopped, catching sight of Spike's car skidding around the far corner and heading off into the night. Sighing, he tilted his head back with eyes closed, feeling the few wounds he'd received from the vampires inside the warehouse healing with little effort. Then he started walking to where Oz had parked his van, which surely had him and Giles safely ensconced inside and waiting for him so they could head back to the hospital.

He looked back once at the warehouse and saw a gleam of blonde hair leaving it from the opposite side. Murmuring a centuries old prayer that came from Darien's memories of his mother, he wished her safety to where she was going and, more especially, safety getting back to them.

---

Xander and Willow, seated in a wheelchair, met in front of the school. Oz smiled and nodded at the semi-vampire in greeting, who nodded back before looking down at his best friend.

"Hey, Wills. Nice wheels you got there."

She stared at him then motioned him downward with her hand, a motion that gave him a bad feeling. But he bent down anyway, not surprised when she slapped him hard enough to make his ears ring and leave a red mark on his cheek. Wincing, he rubbed his cheek, using his hand to cover the fact that the bruise was fading in a matter of seconds.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she hissed, staring at him accusingly. "I could have helped you! I…I could have stopped this!"

"No," he said, sinking down in front of her. He gripped her hands in his and said, "No, you couldn't, Wills. _Giles_ couldn't find a way to stop this. You wouldn't have done any better."

"But…but…"

Xander sighed and said, "I'm still your Xander, Wills. Nothing of me got lost. Things are just different now." He smiled and reached up to brush a strand of crimson hair behind her ear, adding, "And you're still my Yellow Crayon girl."

Oz arched an eyebrow at the nickname but didn't say anything. Xander had covered the fact that he had absolutely no feelings but friendship towards Willow in the hospital and the werewolf had believed him. He knew they were close friends…almost brother and sister and never lovers.

Willow smiled a bit at that and said, "Okay. I believe you. I just…I just worry about you."

"Don't ever stop," said Xander. "Makes me feel special with all warm fuzzies and stuff."

She laughed at that, smiling broadly at him. Her fingers squeezed his tightly and she said, "You _are_ still my Xander."

"Never going to stop, no matter what I become," he said fiercely. "Cross my heart."

Willow nodded then looked up as Giles approached them, one arm done up in a sling. He nodded at all of them then smiled as he noticed them.

"I see you have no issues with Xander," he said to Willow.

She smiled down at her friend and shook her head, saying, "No. He's still Xander…nothing can change that."

Giles chuckled and said, "Very true. I have no doubt he will never change."

Xander smiled but deep down felt a shiver of fear at those words. He hadn't stopped aging yet but…he would. Then nothing about him would change.

And his fear of losing his friends – his _family_ – would truly begin to loom as truth rather than simple fear.


	8. Of Slayers and Bloodlust

Chapter 8 

Two figures, one tall and dark, the other small and fiery, walked down a dark street, unmindful of the dark shadow slipping up behind them. It grinned and chuckled softly as he crept forward, ready to reach out and grab the redhead…only to find her turning, stake in hand, and the male next to her thrust his arm forward, the palm landing on the vampire's chest. He blinked and stared in confusion as the male grinned before his entire world erupted in pain and fire.

Xander sneered at the dust clinging to his hand and wiped it off on the leg of his jeans. Then he looked down at Willow and asked, "What were we talking about?"

"Buffy," replied the redhead as they continued on their walk, leaving the pile of dust that had been a vampire behind them.

"Oh yeah. We were discussing just what I'm going to do when she gets back."

"Mmhmm." Willow smiled sadly and said, "She won't give you a chance to explain. Not after…" She trailed off and her best friend picked up where she'd left off.

"After she thought I killed Kendra. Yeah, I know, Wills." He frowned and tilted his head back to look up at the stars. "Kinda glad this isn't Darien's world."

"Hmm?"

Xander grinned at his friend and explained, "Guy had seven whole _Clans_ of Slayer's after him. They weren't anything like Buffy but they could still pack a punch. Hence why I'm not really that worried."

"You should be," spat a cold voice from behind them and he spun, batting a thrown stake from the air with little effort. His gaze settled on the slim blonde facing him with a grim expression on her face and he dropped into a fighting stance.

"Willow," he growled softly, "get out of here."

The redhead scowled and snapped, "No way am I leaving, mister!" She then turned towards Buffy, practically snarling with rage, her eyes afire. "And don't you dare lay a hand on him!"

"He's a monster, Willow," said Buffy coldly but Xander caught the tremor hidden deep in her voice. "Monster's have to die. I know that now."

"He's _not_ a monster!" screamed Willow, fists clenched at her side and her eyes wild. She had spent the summer inseparable from her best friend – afraid she'd find him gone or a pile of dust if she left him alone one day - and had heard that enough from him. "Angelus, Spike, the Master, Drusilla…_they_ were monsters! Xander's nothing like them! _NOTHING!_"

Buffy shook her head and drew out another stake, her eyes going from hard to sad in an instant. "Sorry, Wil," she muttered. "But I can't believe that. Xander, I…"

Her eyes widened in shock as his form blurred and he was gone, disappeared from sight and her senses. Then a large hand clasped her mouth, another batting the stake out of her hand and pulling her hard against a tall body. She struggled fiercely but found herself unable to break free of the grip, leaving fear to tangle her in its steel claws.

"You're right that I'm a monster," hissed Xander in her ear. "But I'm not the kind of monster you think. I'm the only vampire of my kind here…and, yes, I admit truly that's what I am. But I don't kill, Buffy. Even if I drank from humans, I wouldn't kill them – there's no need."

"I still have my soul. You've seen me walk in sunlight – that's no trick, no ring that can allow it." He paused then breathed, "I don't want to lose your friendship over this, Buffy. There's enough trouble and pain in this for me as there is."

He released her carefully and turned her around so they were looking at each other, green-tinged hazel eyes into green.

"I'm going to lose you all one day," he said in a slightly choked voice, a sliver of pale blue creeping into his eyes. "Don't make me lose you so much sooner than I should. Please."

Buffy stared at him, fighting the tears welling up in her eyes. But they spilled down her cheeks and she fell towards him with a small sob, feeling herself pulled in two different directions. Her Calling wanted her to kill him even though it knew he was different. And her heart cried out against even the thought of that – had done so since she'd settled to doing it on returning to Sunnydale.

Xander's arms enveloped her in a hug and she sobbed into his shirt as she felt warmth, real and true warmth radiating from him. Angel had been cold, she remembered. But Xander – yes, _her_ Xander – was warm. His fingers stroked her hair and she heard him whisper, "Shh, s'okay. Wills…"

"I'll take her home. Be careful, Xander."

"Always." Buffy felt herself being pulled away and looked up at Xander through a sheen of tears as he transferred her to Willow's arms. Then he took a step back and was gone, a dark shape she barely caught darting away into the night. She wanted to cry out after him but Willow turned her around, shaking her head.

"Don't," she said sternly. "He'll come back."

The blonde nodded then looked at her friend, who she had missed so much while she'd been gone. Willow looked right back then pulled her into a hug, murmuring, "We missed you, Buffy." Then she gently pushed her back and smiled. "Now let's get you home."

Buffy nodded and the two girls started walking away down the street, heading towards the Summers house and a woman that missed her daughter dearly. But their minds weren't truly on her and her reaction. They were on a young man they both knew who was about the town, his heart aching with the knowledge – the sheer acceptance – that he'd go on forever.

---

Xander ran.

He ran, leaping from rooftop to rooftop, his heart pounding frantically against his ribs and breath coming in heaving gasps. But still he ran. He ran until he tripped and fell entirely off a building, hitting the ground hard.

Struggling up onto his knees, forearms flat against the ground, his forehead against the hard concrete. Tears tinged faintly red ran down his face, spattering on the concrete as he lay crumpled there. Finally lifting his head, Xander swallowed a harsh sob and muttered, "I nearly…I wanted…"

He frowned and shook his head, falling silent. It wasn't that he would outlive his friends that he was having such a reaction to. That he had become able to accept over the summer – it was something he needed to accept. But it was the feeling he'd gotten around Buffy that was causing this reaction.

He'd wanted to kill her.

She had attacked him and he had immediately seen her as a threat – _as a Slayer_. Darien's instincts – still hidden deep in him – had welled up and it had taken everything he had not to break her neck. That he could have done it ever so easily and without a thought made him sick.

His stomach clenching, he sat up, leaning his head backwards to look up at the stars wheeling above.

"I nearly…I," he gasped. Then he closed his eyes, sighing. "Damnit, get a hold of yourself, Xander. They're instincts. You can change them…they're not even yours after all."

"Just," he continued, levering himself to his feet, "just need to focus."

On his feet, he wiped a hand over his face, frowning at the sight of the pale blood smeared across his palm. When he realized what it was, his frown deepened.

"That – that never happened before." He continued staring at the blood, muttering, "So things _are_ different…"

Wiping the blood off on his pants, he tried to shake off the feelings. He pushed them aside and tried to think of something to focus on that wasn't related at all. Closing his eyes, he reached out with his mind slowly, pushing as far as he could with his senses. He hadn't gotten himself up to the skill of Darien, who could sense the entirety of his hunting territory – which was all of Central Park in New York City – and up to five miles beyond that, but he could still sense most things within a three mile radius.

There were scattered vampires that he could sense, singles and pairs everywhere, and humans as well. Then a large group of vampires, moving quickly, caught his attention and he opened his eyes. A feral smile reminiscent of the hyena twisted his lips and he bared his teeth, canines lengthening into fangs.

"Stress relief, ahoy," he muttered then drew a dagger strapped horizontal to his belt and leapt to the roof, running across it and leaping to the next. He tracked the group carefully, dropping down behind them in near perfect silence. One turned and managed to blink at him before he lunged forward, using his strength to slice the dagger right through the vampire's neck. As he turned to dust, the others spun and regarded the killer of their companion with shocked expressions.

One of the vampire's - perhaps leader of the little band - shoved forward to the front of the crowd, glaring from behind a cloud of greasy blonde hair. He sneered and spat, "Who the fuck are you?"

Xander, who stood loosely in a cloud of shifting dust from the vampire he'd killed with his feet spread wide, lifted his head and smiled. The vampire's closest to him took a step back as they caught sight of his red hazed eyes and bared fangs, looking around nervously. Then he caught the eyes of the leader and growled, "Call me Traitor."

"Wha…"

The leader never had a chance to complete his statement. Xander lunged forward and caught him in the heart with his dagger, twisting the blade and shoving with brute force so it turned, breaking ribs as he pulled it back out. The vampire screamed and went down, his body cascading into dust as he fell since the youth had essentially torn out part of his heart. Around him the other vampire's seemed to break out of their daze and charged him, their game face's on in response to their anger at him killing their leader.

It was almost laughable how quickly he took them out.

Xander panted as the grave dust sifted in the air around him, his heart pounding in his ears. Every muscle quivered, Power jumping through them like wildfire, and he was sure his eyes were gleaming yellow now from the sheer pleasure of killing the parasites. He felt the immensely strong urge to throw back his head and howl out his success – to tell the world the hunter had prevailed over the prey. But he held it back, knowing instinctively that it was something he shouldn't do. Because that urge was the Rogue, the inner animal that lurked in every human and was what made his type of vampire into the creature, and if he gave into it once it would begin to take over. That was something he could never allow to happen.

So, shuddering, he sheathed his dagger, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm his racing heart. It was then that he came to realize his fangs were pressing deeply into his lower lip, a sign he had come to realize meant that he was in dire need of blood. Sighing, he headed the long way towards Giles' apartment, which he had moved his things into the second week of the summer break. His parents hadn't had an issue with it – if anything his father had been ecstatic at the thought of getting rid of him and his mother had looked relieved.

As he came in the door, realizing that it was nearly two in the morning, and headed into the kitchen, he heard Giles stirring upstairs. Knowing the man was coming down, he continued what he was doing, busily pouring a blood pouch into a mug to stick in the microwave for a few seconds. By the time he was at the bottom stair, Xander was leaning against the counter with the steaming mug cupped in his hands and taking slow sips out of it.

Giles paused at the bottom of the staircase and frowned at him before moving across the room. He came to a stop at the entrance into the small kitchen and simply took in the semi-vampire's appearance – which was dust coated clothes, fangs peeking over his lips, and eyes glowing with tinges of both yellow and the red of bloodlust. Then he sighed and asked, "Are you going to continuously do this to yourself, son?"

"I'm fine," insisted Xander. "Just…just needed to work out some issues and I took it a bit too far."

"A _bit_? You used your powers until you went into bloodlust again. That is quite more than a bit, I'd bloody well say!"

The youth growled but couldn't fault the elder man for worrying. He'd told him everything about the kind of vampire he was turning into and that the Rogue lurked within him – that was as sure as the sky was blue. Giles was only worried that if he lost control, he would lose two of the children in his care for certain and perhaps even his own life. Because Buffy would certainly try to stop Xander…and if she were in top form and determined with the right weapons, she could very well do it.

Frowning, he lowered the mug and looked down at his feet, saying softly, "Buffy came back into town, Giles."

That made the anger on the man's face fade and he breathed, "Good Lord. She…she didn't attack you, did she?"

Xander looked up with a sorrowful gaze and the Watcher winced, shaking his head. He muttered something under his breath and the younger man shook his head, saying, "Giles, no. It's not her you should be worrying about. It's me."

Giles looked up, confusion in his eyes, and the youth made to explain.

"Look, she attacked me, yes. But her heart wasn't in it – I saw that. Just…Giles, I just barely held myself back from killing her." Xander lifted his eyes to meet the elder's and he continued, "For one moment I really saw her as a Slayer…and I wanted to kill her. That's what my instincts told me to do. How can I be around any of you with instincts like that?"

He clutched at the mug in his hand like it was a lifeline, feeling doubly ashamed of the instincts he now had – instincts that weren't even his to begin with. His fangs dug into his lower lip and he shut his eyes tightly, wishing that he could sink into the floor because he was certain the man was going to throw him out now. A hand touched his shoulder then and he jerked, looking up into Giles' understanding eyes.

"Instincts can be overcome," said the man gently. "And we need you, son."

"I don't…"

"We _need_ you, no matter what you've become."

Xander just stared at him then nodded sharply, unable to speak due to the emotions clogging up his throat. Giles just looked at him for a long moment, taking in the eyes that were a swirling mix of orange, white blue, and purple, then took a step forward into the kitchen. He reached out and gripped at the young man's shoulder tightly, drawing that odd gaze straight to his face to look him in the eye.

"We _do_ need you," he said. "Don't ever doubt that. And no matter what you are, we all care for you."

---

"Wait, Buffy," said Xander as they watched the vampire and his brunette date slip out. "She's a Slayer."

"What?!" exclaimed the blonde, staring at him. "How…how do you know?"

"I've got senses. And it's not hard at all to sense you; you're practically a spotlight in the dark."

"Oh."

"Maybe she'll need help," said Willow. At Xander's arched eyebrow, she added, "Or we could go out and make sure she's not some renegade or something out to kill everyone."

The semi-vampire blinked then said, "O-okay. Let's go introduce ourselves, girls, Wolfman." He led the way out the backdoor and they watched as the saucy brunette beat the crap out of the vampire, snatching the stake Buffy helpfully held out and killed him.

"Thanks, B," she said as she turned, dark eyes showing a wild spirit. "I'm Faith. And…" She trailed off and glanced around with a frown on her face. "Y'know, it feels like there's another vamp around here."

Willow and Buffy both paled whilst Oz just arched an eyebrow, glancing at Xander from the corner of his eye. The semi-vampire smiled slightly and said, "Welcome to Sunnyhell, Faith. You've got a lot to learn."

Faith blinked at him then smiled in a sultry fashion and purred, "Always willing to learn a few new tricks, hon."


	9. Of Motorbikes and Slayage

**Chapter 9**

"So, you're a vamp but not a vamp."

Xander smiled slightly as he rose from the crouch next to the rusted frame of an old motorcycle and replied, "Something like that." He then flashed his fangs for a second, saying, "And you're a Slayer. Big deal."

Faith arched an eyebrow and cocked a hip, purring, "You think you can take me, Fangs?"

He smiled again at that, shaking his head.

"I'm not even going to go into the innuendo in that question."

"Who said it was innuendo?" asked the brunette, moving towards him with a hunter's walk. She smiled sultrily and ran a finger down his chest, tangling her hand at the bottom of his shirt when she reached it. "I'm kinda curious how it would be to take a vamp for a ride." Her glance flicked downward and she added, "Looks like you're curious too."

Xander growled at that, eyes tinged slightly pink, then took a deep breath. He looked at her then and said, "Maybe another time."

She pouted then turned to the old frame, running her fingers along the metal that would eventually hold the seat. Taking a step back, she regarded it with a careful gaze then looked up at him with a slight sneer on her lips.

"A Yamaha? What the fuck kinda pansy are you?"

"One that didn't have enough money to buy a new bike or a junked out Harley," replied Xander as he crouched back down next to the bike. He then looked up at her past the frame of the seat, asking, "You know something about bikes then?"

"Fuck yeah! Worked in a chop shop for a little while," replied Faith. She grinned and added, "Motorcycle can be a girl's best friend sometimes."

"Again, not going there."

She pouted again at him then walked around to sit beside him, her thigh against his. And she proceeded to point out to him three things wrong with the engine that he hadn't seen along with some weaknesses in the frame that he never would have realized.

It was there, crouched in Giles' driveway next to the rusted frame, that they were found by the Watcher, who returned with Chinese food. He blinked at the sight before him then asked, "Xander, where did you get that?"

"Junkyard," came the reply as the youth bent his face close to the engine to look at something the Slayer next to him had pointed out. "Faith was kind enough to stop by and try to lend me a hand."

Giles frowned then said, "You could have simply told me you were looking for a motorbike. I have one."

Two sets of eyes rose to stare at him and he scowled, snapping, "Don't look at me like that! I'm allowed to have been wild in my youth." His expression then softened as he added, "Now, come along before the food gets cold. After that I'll show you that bloody machine and help you get it back into working order. Lord knows I won't be using it again."

Faith rose, brushing imaginary dust off her leather pants, and smiled at Xander.

"Guess I'll be seeing you later then, Fangs."

"No, wait," said the semi-vampire. He glanced at Giles then looked back to Faith as he rose to his own feet with a smudge of grease across his nose. "Eat with us. Then you can help me get this bike Giles claims to have in some working condition."

Dark eyes blinked at him and she looked about to refuse the offer. Then she shrugged and took a step forward, reaching up to wipe the grease off his nose. Xander's breath hitched for a moment in response and it was obvious she heard it from the smirk lingering at the corner of her mouth.

"Sure, Fangs," she purred. "Though you sure you have enough food?"

"Oh, I'm always certain to get plenty of food these days," said Giles with a fond smile in Xander's direction. He then began to lead the way towards the door of his apartment and said over his shoulder, "Despite him being what he is, he eats like a horse."

The young man in question scoffed at that, saying, "I don't eat like a horse! I eat like a teenage boy and you know it!"

Faith blinked at this and looked curiously up at him as they got into the apartment, Giles going to grab plates to put their food on. Before the Watcher returned, she said, "I thought you didn't need food to survive."

"I don't," replied Xander. "Though I'm kinda like Darien in the fact that I think food is too damn good to give up just 'cause I don't need it to survive. I mean…how the hell could I give up Twinkies?"

She blinked again then started to laugh, shaking her head at him.

"You're a unique one, Fangs."

"Don't I know it."

Giles came back then and said, "Dig in, children. And then we shall go see if we can dig my motorbike out."

"Amen!" said the two youth's and fell upon the Chinese food like ravening wolves.

---

"Okay, so this goes where?"

"Here," replied Faith, leaning over Xander's shoulder to point at a spot on the motorcycle's bare frame. They'd managed to find Giles' bike, a battered old Harley, and were working with parts bought cheap from the junkyard to get it back into working order. "You're pretty alright with this stuff, Fangs."

"Guy I got possessed by owned a Harley for years," explained the semi-vampire as he worked on getting the frame ready to have the engine put back in it. "These babies I know how to work on a bit. Everything else might as well be Chinese."

The Slayer laughed a little at that then rose, saying, "Sorry, Fangs, but I gotta head out. Patrol with B, y'know."

Xander frowned and asked, "You two need some company?"

"Nah, this is supposed to be some kind of Slayer bonding shit."

He arched an eyebrow at her tone then shrugged and turned back to the bike. "Alright," he said, "but the offer's always there."

Faith gave him a sultry smile again and walked off, her hips swaying as she went. His eyes were involuntarily drawn to them and his eyes became tinged with pink again after a moment.

"Damn," he breathed as he flopped down on the pavement next to the back. He lay back against it and chuckled softly, shaking his head. "She's deliberately driving me crazy. I know she is."

Then he snorted and growled, "And I can't deny that I like it."

Grunting, he rose back into a crouch and went back to the bike, absently following Faith with his senses until she got out of range.

---

Xander darted in a blur of motion from rooftop to rooftop, racing towards the address that was supposedly Faith's. He'd come into the library in time to hear that the new Slayer's Watcher was actually dead and had gone on a search for her address before heading out.

She'd lied to them.

And he wanted to know why.

Why she'd lied to _him_ when they'd become such good friends. Or so he'd thought.

He put on a burst of speed with a growl and leapt out into open air, eyes widening as he saw the Sunnydale Lodge loom up in front of him. As he landed in the street in front of the dump, he made a note to tell Giles just where Faith was staying. Then he reached out with his senses, searching for the other Slayer's presence.

What he found was hers, Buffy's, and a big honking vampire whose presence gave him the heebie-jeebies.

The two Slayer's suddenly leapt over the balcony of the second floor with three vampires right behind them. Xander shot forward with a snarl, drawing his dagger as his motions blurred, and to anyone watching it looked like the pursuing vampire's heads exploded for no reason. Then he blurred back into view, keeping easy pace with the running Slayer's as the rest of their pursuer's followed.

"Xander, what are you doing here?!" exclaimed Buffy, her heart jumping the moment he'd appeared. She'd barely held herself back from trying to stake him in reaction.

He shrugged casually and replied, "Oh, y'know, just taking a stroll." Then he looked at Faith, growling, "You need to learn to trust people."

The new Slayer just cast him a glare that was full of fear and he shut up, glancing over his shoulder to see if their pursuers were still there. Then he scowled and asked, "Why the hell are we running?"

"That's Kakistos, Xander! Giles said he's one of the oldest vampires still around."

Xander grinned ferally at that and growled, "Not for long." He slid to a stop then and immediately reversed the direction of his run, blurring as he charged back at the vampires.

"_XANDER!_"

A roar of pain rent the air then and the two Slayer's turned their heads backwards to see Kakistos flying through the air, crashing into a building with all the power of a battering ram. Their eyes then jerked back to see Xander landing lightly on the ground in the middle of the pack of vampires that had followed the older one. A few of them looked rather afraid since they'd just seen him toss their leader a good fifteen feet. And he wasn't even breathing hard.

"Well fuck, Fangs," hissed Faith. She skidded to a stop and stood staring for a moment before she started running back, jerking her stake out as she ran. Buffy just stared after her then grumbled something and followed, her eyes on Xander the whole time. As she watched, he turned and grinned at them before lashing out with his dagger in a blur at a vampire to his left. Her eyes widened as she saw that with that simple motion he'd torn its head from its shoulders.

Faith plowed into the back of a vampire then with a howl of fury, slinging her arm around him to plant her stake in his heart. As she went at another, the vampire took notice and started to fight back. Buffy charged right into the fray and started going at it, killing any vampires that got in her way.

There was a roar then and the other Slayer froze in her tracks as Kakistos rose from the building that Xander had tossed him into. The ancient vampire shook himself then fixed his gaze on the young man who killed one last vampire that came at him then shook dust from his blade as he turned to smile ferally at him.

"You will regret making an enemy of me, boy," growled the old vampire, stalking forward with the surety of a killer. He started towards Xander then shifted his goal, heading towards the frozen Faith instead.

"FAITH!" scream Buffy, unable to make it to her as she fought two vampires at once.

But Xander did make it.

Kakistos' hand never made it to Faith. The semi-vampire darted in-between and grabbed it with his own, not even putting much effort into stopping him from moving it seemed.

"I don't think so," he snarled, eyes gleaming crimson in color.

The ancient vampire looked startled then and he breathed, "What are you…"

Xander shrugged and didn't bother to answer. He just surged forward and swiped at the bigger vampire's face with his dagger, slashing a wide wound across the one already there. Kakistos bellowed in rage and glared at him through a sheet of blood.

"_I will kill you!_"

"No way in hell," snarled a female voice. The old vampire turned towards it and was just in time to watch Faith thrust a wooden beam from the half-collapsed building into his heart. Fury twisted her face into something feral and she snarled, "That's for Di, you sonovabitch."

Kakistos, shock on his leathery face, hit his knees on the pavement then his body collapsed into a cloud of dust. The remaining vampires fled at the sight of their boss dying and moved faster thanks to a growl from Xander. As they vanished into the night, the semi-vampire walked over to the dark Slayer – who was standing limply and staring at the pile of dust – and gently touched her shoulder. She spun towards him, hand ready to strike, but he easily caught it and held both her arms hostage.

"He's gone, Faith," he said softly, trying to meet her eyes. "Whatever happened…its over."

She blinked at him then ducked her head, trying to hide a tear that ran down her cheek. He saw it and turned his shoulder so Buffy wouldn't see the younger girl trying not to fall apart.

"C'mon," said Xander gently. "Let's go back to the library. G-man can make tea for you."

"I don't like tea," grumbled Faith as she nodded in agreement.

The semi-vampire smiled at that.

"This you will. Its good for stressful situations, trust me. Now c'mon, let's head out, eh?" He let go of her arms and moved back a step before holding out his hand to her. "I'm your friend, Faith. I promise you that."

She looked up at that and frowned at him before reaching out to slip her hands into his. Her fingers shook slightly and were damp against his as he closed his hand about them. Turning to Buffy, he held out his other hand and she smiled before stepping right up and taking it.

Xander grinned brightly at both Slayers then started walking with them right beside them. Before they'd gotten far down the road, he flung his arm around Buffy's shoulder and turned to smile at Faith, who actually returned the gesture.

He made a promise then to prove to her that she didn't have to work things out alone. Not if he could help it.


	10. Realizations of Truth

**Chapter 10**

"_Holy shi-_ Giles, why is there a _panther_ asleep in the library!"

Said panther was woken up by this and lifted its head, grumpily growling at the blonde that had disturbed its sleep. Buffy took a step back then looked frantically at Giles as he calmly stepped out of his office.

"Hmm? Oh, its only Xander, Buffy."

The Slayer blinked.

"Wh-_what?_"

Giles sighed and replied, "It is one of the things his type of vampire are good at: shapeshifting. He has been working on it for a very long while and has only just become able to achieve a complete one. Since he immediately fell asleep in the floor, I assumed he had tired himself out from the effort."

A growl that might have been agreement came from the panther, which yawned before laying his head back down on its paws. Buffy just stared at it, wondering if real panther's were as big as the one currently dozing on the library floor. Then she took a step backwards and fled from the library, not seeing the look of panic Giles sent after her.

She ran all the way outside and collapsed on a bench, suddenly aware that she was shaking horribly. Even after these few months since she'd come back, she hadn't yet come to grasp the fact that Xander really _was_ stuck as a vampire for the rest of his life. Now…now it came back to slap her in the face and she hadn't been prepared for it.

Pressing a hand over her mouth, Buffy muffled a sob and closed her eyes tight against the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

The one friend she'd been sure would never change had now changed the most of any of them. And there had been nothing she could do about it.

---

Xander coldly considered Angel for a moment as he stood in the vampire's doorway then growled, "I seriously did debate killing you whilst I was heading over here."

The other vampire gulped and set down the mug of blood he'd been holding, the ceramic rattling against the counter as he did so.

"What changed your mind?" he asked in a low voice.

"The fact that you kept what I'm becoming secret from Buffy. You didn't have to do it. Hell, the fact that Angelus didn't use it to his advantage keeps me from killing you."

Angel nodded then closed his eyes. "You still hate me."

Xander's eyes gleamed red then and he bared his teeth, fangs showing. He growled, "More than ever now. I can separate your deeds from Angelus'. But it was still _you_ that did them, no matter who was in charge."

"I'm sorry for all of that…"

"Sorry can't bring Ms. Calendar back!" snapped the semi-vampire. "Or Kendra. Or erase the torment you caused Buffy, Willow, and Giles."

He smiled ferally then as he added, "Though I'm kinda disappointed that your evil counterpart didn't try coming after me. I could've killed you without another thought then."

Angel nervously shifted then said, "He feared you."

"He was right to."

Xander snorted then turned to leave but stopped with on hand on the doorframe. He turned his head slightly and said, "Oh, and Deadboy?"

Dark eyes blinked at the figure in the doorway.

"Stop dragging Buffy around. You're immortal, she's not; love between the two of you is laughable unless she's Turned. And I'd kill myself before I allowed that."

Angel just nodded then said softly, "You're doing the same?"

Xander growled softly at that then spat, "What other choice do I have?" Then he stalked out the door, leaving a very nervous vampire behind him. As he walked outside, he caught sight of Faith leaning against the building and started.

"Faith?"

"Hey, Fangs," said the dark Slayer as she pushed herself away from the wall. She walked over to him with a cat's paces and asked, "Didn't kill him?"

Xander shrugged, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his coat.

"He was the second one to find out what was going on with me," he said. "Kinda necessity since he had blood and I needed it badly at the time. He didn't tell Buffy about that and he could have. Since he didn't do that, I didn't rip his arms off and beat him to death with them."

"Nice mental image," commented Faith. He huffed and started walking away, her pacing along right beside him. She tilted her head at him and asked, "Yo, Fangs…"

"Yeah?"

"How come you won't act on what you've got for me?"

Xander stumbled a bit at her question then snorted and shook his head. He stopped and she blinked at him in confusion as he started to speak.

"I like you, Faith, I really do. But I'm just waiting for the immortality shoe of this gig of mine to drop and that's not making things any better. A one-night stand would never work for me – it never did so for Darien and he had a lot of them." He sighed and continued, "I guess you could say I'm an 'in it for the long haul relationship' guy. But with all of this…"

Xander waved a hand and closed his eyes as if in pain.

"With all this I doubt I'm ever going to get that."

Faith just stared at him for a moment then said, "Damn, Fangs. I'm sorry, I…"

"Not your fault," he hissed softly. As he started walking again, he opened his eyes and tilted his head back to look at the star-filled night sky. "I just wish things could be different."

The dark Slayer walking by his side felt pain in the heart she'd armored from the outside world. This guy had been nothing but kind to her since she'd arrived in Sunnydale and had gotten her out of the pit she'd been living in, convincing Giles to let her stay with them until they could hunt her down a place. For a while she'd been trying to figure out just what angle he was working to try and get into her pants.

She realized now that he didn't have one.

It was…refreshing. A guy that she knew was attracted to her actually didn't want her just for the sex. And he'd have made a move on it if it weren't for the whole immortality/mortal failure of relationship deal. The failure of that had been seen well enough just recently though she doubted Xander would turn into a psychopath after a roll in the bed sheets.

What got her was how little pain his so-called friends missed coming off the semi-vampire. She caught them from a mile away and she had seen well enough that Giles knew the score better than anyone. How Buffy and Willow didn't see it she didn't know.

And she didn't really care. If they didn't want to see it…well fuck them.

Xander was her friend if she had anyone in the world she could call that. She realized that now.

And she wasn't about to ignore him after all he'd done for her.

Faith slipped her hand into the pocket of his coat, twining her fingers with his. Xander blinked at her in confusion for a moment then smiled before sliding his hand from his pocket so their arms hung comfortably between them. They walked like that the entire way back towards Giles' apartment in comfortable silence that made the semi-vampire realize something.

Just like Darien, he had two women he'd really fallen in love with. Buffy was the first and he could see parallels between her and Kay McCouine. They both had tempers, were somewhat out there in the matter of thought-processes, and – while Buffy had never returned feelings for him – both had turned away from him/Darien. He knew Buffy didn't mean to but he could sense her getting further and further away from him every day. It hurt but he could take the pain.

Faith, now…Faith was all fire and wildness and passion. With a sure sense of loyalty underneath to those she trusted – that he felt even now. Faith was Arana Folwns, the second woman Darien had fallen in love with. Both had powerful presences, could make snappy comebacks, and were thoroughly entertaining.

And overall, Xander would rather have Arana than Kay.

The problem was that he couldn't have that, no matter how he wanted it.


	11. A Moment for Bad Events

**Chapter 11**

"My head hurts," grumbled Xander. He slumped back in his chair in the library, fingers still rubbing at his temples, and growled, "And I can't believe that in an alternate reality I dressed up as fuckin' _Dante._"

"Who?" asked Willow. "And how did you…"

He sighed and responded, "I sensed something going on but wasn't in time to stop Queen Cordelia from saying something she shouldn't have. Next thing I knew I was skidding to a halt in front of her and a confused girl. A little bit of mind-searching seemed prudent then on the both of them and I'm wishing I hadn't done it now."

"You can search through people's minds?"

"I could turn you into a vegetable if I wanted to and really put myself to it. But I don't like getting in people's heads. What I did was necessary to find out just what the hell had happened."

Faith, perched on the edge of the library counter, asked, "And what was that, Fangs? Who's this Dante character?"

Giles, who had just entered the room, frowned at that then looked at Xander. "That wouldn't be Dante Wolfe, would it?"

"Okay," said Buffy, looking between the two, "start explaining."

Xander sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back as he began to speak in a weary voice.

"Dante Wolfe is from the same universe as Darien – though you all could probably figure that out. He was a member of the Wolfe Clan of Slayers, which are sort of like Buffy except less destiny-chosen and less powerful with a bit more in the mind of vengeance for their hunting reasons. Long story short, he and Darien ended up not liking each other."

Willow jumped as werewolf Oz growled from the library book cage then asked, "Um…how much is not liking?"

"First time they really got down and fought, they each gave each other scars to remember them by. Neither won the match. While Dante may not have been as powerful as Buffy, he knew a sword well and proved himself to be a match for Darien," replied Xander. He then opened his eyes as he continued, "Then Darien's little sister Niamh threw herself into the mix and everything got hopelessly complicated from there."

"Niamh," he explained, leaning forward in his chair now, "was a halfling vampire, turned in their mother's womb because of a vampire continuously feeding the poor woman blood to keep her alive whilst he tortured her. She and Dante somehow ended up falling hopelessly in love with each other even though she stabbed him and he tried to use her as blackmail on Darien."

Buffy grimaced then said, "Sounds…nice."

Xander snorted then continued on with his story.

"During all this, a Slayer who'd been turned and previously thought dead reared her head. She met up with Dante and Niamh at one point and tried to kill the halfling vampire. Dante decided to be especially chivalrous and threw himself in the path of the dagger."

"Basically to end all that," he finished, "Niamh yelled for Darien, who came running at the sound of a distress call. She begged him to turn Dante and he did, not wanting to see his little sister hurting despite the Slayer's wish not to be turned. Fights continued after that but eventually Darien and Dante learned how to be around each other and not try to fight."

Faith chuckled at that and said in a low voice, "Sounds like fun."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," grumbled Xander, lifting a hand to his temples again. "Now that explanations done, here's the rest of the gist on the world. Buffy, you never came to town and since I went as completely vampire-lacking Slayer Dante for Halloween and ended up keeping everything from him after it, it got left to me to lead the vampire hunting team around Sunny D."

"Which were who?" asked Willow.

"Me, Giles, Oz, and a couple of others. I think Larry was there." Hazel eyes turned on Willow apologetically and he breathed, "Wills…"

She blinked then gasped, "Oh, God, no…"

"What?" asked Buffy, looking frantically between the two. "Xander, what is it?"

The semi-vampire swallowed hard and replied, "Willow got turned not long after that Halloween. I tried to stop them when they took her but wasn't able to; couldn't get my head together around everything of Dante's that had been left dumped in me." A vicious smile then slide onto his face and everyone could see as his canines lengthened into fangs. "But I _got_ them," he hissed. "I hunted them down and I killed the bastards for what they did."

Willow just stared for a moment then leapt up and rushed around the table, falling to her knees in front of Xander enveloping her friend in a sudden hug. He looked surprised for a moment then wrapped his arms around her, shuddering slightly before letting his head fall to her shoulder.

Only Buffy and Faith heard him as he breathed, "I'd die before I let that happen to you."

"I know," whispered Willow, hugging him even tighter.

---

Xander didn't wait to ask Giles what was going on after he left the old Sunnydale Arms Boarding House. He just considered one of the bricked up windows for a moment, growled, and kicked his way through it.

His landing consisted of a cloud of dust and the three men besides Giles were shaking as he stood up, eyes glowing red as the cloud sifted around him. Those eyes darted towards the Watcher, towards the man he had _trusted with his life_, and he growled, "What the fuck is going on?"

Giles just stared at him then looked at the ground, face flushed with shame. He had let the youth down and he knew it; trying to go through this whole charade and thinking he could keep it from Xander had been a ludicrous idea. And their shared trust was going to suffer for it.

"The Cruciamentum. It is an…"

"Rupert, what _are_ you doing?" exclaimed one of the three Englishmen, having found his tongue. "And what in God's name _is_ he?"

"Vampire," replied Xander, flashing his fangs at the man. He didn't have anything to fear from these three and he knew it. Turning back to Giles, he hissed, "Continue."

"…an archaic exercise in cruelty," finished the Watcher. He then turned a harsh look on the other man and growled, "It is something I never should have agreed to be a part of."

"This is a time-honored rite of passage for the Slayer!" exclaimed the other man. "She will be all the more stronger for it."

"Stronger?" repeated Xander. "Stronger how? By overcoming that monster of a vampire you have locked up in here without anything or anyone to help her?"

"Yes," answered Giles.

Intense anger crossed the semi-vampire's face and he reached behind his back, lifting his shirt and drawing his dagger from the sheath there. He looked between the two men and growled, "Fuck that." Then he stalked past them straight to where the vampire was, with the other Englishman shouting after him and following at an uneasy pace. Xander ignored him and flung open the door that hid the vampire from view, not even bothering to let it speak before he lunged forward and killed it with a quick thrusting twist of his dagger.

As the ashes settled to the floor, he spun and lunged at the other man in a blur of motion. Before anyone realized it he had the man in the air and thumped against a wall, his fangs bared as he set his face an inch away from the other man's.

"You do _not_ send a helpless girl against a vampire," he snarled angrily. "That is no test; that is a murder just begging to happen. And so help me, if I _ever_ hear of you and yours doing that to a girl again, I will hunt each and every one of you down and kill you."

"I would take him at his word, Quentin," said Giles in a cold voice.

The man, Quentin, darted his gaze towards Giles and hissed, "What _is_he?"

"I told you," said Xander. "_Vampire_. Just not the kind that you and your merry bunch of bastards send a girl out to fight whilst you sip your tea and pat yourselves on the back for a job well done."

He dropped the man then and moved back to stand beside Giles, eyes returned to the green-tinged hazel they been since Halloween but with a hint of red still gleaming within them. Growling from deep in his chest, he snarled, "You _will_ leave Buffy alone. And so help me if you _try_ to touch Faith, I'll make the acts Angelus committed look like child's play in comparison."

With that he turned and walked out, casually going out the window he'd kicked his way through. Giles looked after him for a moment then smiled bitterly at Quentin.

"That," he said, "I believe was my letter of resignation."

He followed the semi-vampire's path out, leaving a stunned Quentin Travers and his two helpers behind him. The Watcher wasn't surprised to find Xander standing at the back of the boarding house where his car was parked. As he approached, he sighed and said, "I'm sorry."

"We trust you to keep us safe, Giles," hissed Xander, not lifting his gaze from the ground, "not throw us to the wolves at the least opportunity."

"Xander, I…"

"My trust in you is shattered now, do you know that? That you tried to keep that hidden from Buffy – let alone _me_ when just giving me the barest word of that thing would've had it stopped before you needed worry about it…"

Giles closed his eyes at that.

"…that hurt," finished Xander. He looked up then and hissed, "I have kept _nothing_ secret from you. I've trusted you from the moment I started turning and I've told you everything. _Including_ things about my parents that even _Willow_ doesn't know."

There was silence for a moment then Giles asked softly, "Have you had something special in your life or Darien's?"

"Wills. Jessi. You. Buffy. Faith. Oz." The youth frowned then continued, "Darien had too many to count. And most of them he didn't realize until they were lost."

The Watcher nodded at that.

"That," he said, "happens to the best of us."

Xander looked up in surprise and Giles stepped forward to lay a hand on the youth's shoulder.

"I didn't realize until just now how much all of you have come to mean to me," he said. "You're…well, I should say you're all essentially my children. And I've been a terrible father to you at times."

"At least you're not _all_ the time," said Xander, thinking of his drunken sloth of a father.

"No. But still I could do better by you all."

"So no more hiding shit like this?"

"No more," promised Giles, squeezing his shoulder.

"Good."

They stayed like that for a moment then Xander pulled away and went around to get in the passenger side of the car. Giles got in the driver's seat a moment later and started the car, the pair riding in only slightly uncomfortable silence as they headed towards the Watcher's apartment.

"You think Faith is home?" asked Xander. The dark Slayer hadn't found an apartment yet and Giles had finally settled to cleaning out a room so she could stop mooching Xander's every other night as they alternated between there and the couch.

"Probably."

Silence settled again right up until they pulled into the apartment's driveway. Before they got out Xander asked, "Will they send a new Watcher?"

Giles frowned then nodded slowly.

"And he's likely to be a hide-bound ass, isn't he? One less likely to get attached to his Slayer."

"Very likely, yes," replied the older man.

Xander nodded at that and said, "Okay. Glad we cleared that up."

"Why is that?"

The semi-vampire grinned ferally in response.

"Because now," he replied, "I know just how to deal with him when he gets here. Dealing with hide-bound bastards used to be one of Darien's specialties."

Giles blinked then chuckled, a slow smile of mirth spreading over his face.

"Raise merry hell, boy," he bid as he got out of the car. "You have my full permission."

"Sweeeeet."


	12. Begins With Threats & Ends With Tragedy

**Chapter 12**

Xander entered the library to find a young, dark-haired man in tweed standing and having a heated conversation with Giles. The now former Watcher looked like he was debating going after one of the swords locked in the book cage and stab the younger man. When he saw him, the look on his face flashed to one of relief.

"Ah, Xander. Thank goodness," said the older man. He waved a hand at the other and added, "Please. Deal with him. I'm quite ready to stab him as things are."

The younger tweed-clad man sputtered and the semi-vampire chuckled.

"Now, now, Giles," he said as he dumped his book bag on the library table. "If you stab him, we'll have blood on the floor. It's hard enough explaining the dust that the janitors have to continuously clean up in here."

"Oh, yes…" Xander held out his hand towards the newcomer and smirked. "Xander Harris."

The man sniffed then took his hand gingerly, saying, "Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. And you are?"

"The help. More correctly the extra _oomph_ if the Slayer gals need it. Also…"

He flashed his fangs, causing the new Watcher to yelp and jump backwards and frantically look up at the windows that were allowing sunlight to stream into the library.

"…our resident vampire that didn't require a soul to play nicey nice."

Wesley gaped openly at him then squealed like a girl as Xander rushed forward and grabbed the front of his tweed suit, lifting him easily off the ground.

"Now," he growled, "let's get a few things straight, newbie. Number one: you don't know _shit_ about what goes on here on the Hellmouth. Listen to Giles. Number two: I am under no circumstances evil. Also, at least one of your big guys knows about me – funny that he didn't tell you. So no trying to kill me or trying to find someone else to do the deed. I'd take great offense to the attempt and know two Slayers, a werewolf, and a budding witch who would also do so along with the gentleman standing behind you. Number three: there is no rule number three. And number four: grow a frickin' backbone, man."

He then released the new Watcher as Buffy came in, followed close behind by Faith. Both Slayer's came to a stop and blinked before the younger one said, "New Watcher?"

"Indeed," squeaked the tweed-clad man. He sidled a step away from Xander then smiled at the two girls. "Wesley Wyndam-Pryce."

"Is he evil?" asked Buffy, looking at Giles. "The last one was evil."

Giles shook his head and replied, "Rather unfortunately he is the real thing."

"Bummer," muttered Faith. She then shrugged and walked out, waving over her shoulder. "Whatever. I'm going to go find some grub."

"But…" said Wesley. He frowned as she kept going then looked at Buffy. "Very well then. You can report on late night's patrol."

She blinked then sighed at that, earning a pitying look from Xander as he made his way out of the library.

---

"Faith, _no!_" screamed Buffy as she watched her sister Slayer spin, her stake plunging down at the chest of a man who'd stumbled into the battle. It was then that she saw a blur out of the corner of her eye and gasped as Faith's stake slammed home into Xander's chest.

The semi-vampire grunted and fell back into the man, knocking them both of the ground. As the man scrambled backwards, he lay on the ground trying to breathe and failing.

Faith realized what had happened and made a strangled noise in her throat. She fell to her knees next to Xander, leaning over him as tears sprang into her eyes. One guy had finally gotten to her and she'd killed him…

Green-tinged hazel eyes stained with orange jerked towards her and Xander growled, "Get…this thing…out…of me. Fuckin'…hurts."

She blinked then nodded, reaching down to grasp the stake where it was embedded in his chest. Luckily she'd missed his heart with the thrust though it had been a close call. Wrapping her fingers about the piece of wood, she jerked it out with a grunt then dropped it as Xander howled in pain. She moved forward to touch him but stopped before she did, afraid that she'd just cause more pain.

"What do I do?" she asked him in a feverish voice, unaware of Buffy grabbing the man behind her and speaking to him. "Fangs, what do I _do_?!"

Xander's hand slid into hers then and her gaze was drawn towards his. His eyes were completely orange now in his pain strained face but he managed a smile somehow.

"Nothing," he breathed. "I'll…be fine."

Buffy came over then and laid a hand on Faith's shoulder, causing the younger Slayer to jump. She looked worriedly down at Xander and smiled when she saw he seemed to be okay. He smiled back at her and said, "I'm fine, Buff. Who's the guy?"

"Mayor's assistant," she replied. "But explanations can wait till later. I don't care if you can heal faster than me, you still need to have that looked at."

"I'll call Giles," said Faith, fumbling in the pockets of her light jacket. She came up with her phone in a moment and dialed a number, quickly informing the former Watcher that Xander was hurt and they had a slight problem. The conversation took maybe two minutes – most of which was her rattling off an address they were near - and as she put the phone away, she said, "He'll be here in five."

Buffy arched an eyebrow at that but said nothing. She just crouched down on the ground next to Xander and gripped his other hand, which squeezed hers back weakly.

Giles actually made the trip from his home to the address Faith had given in three minutes, breaking a handful of traffic laws along the way. He rushed through the alley where the two girls had killed the Eliminati and ran towards them when he spotted them. Xander waved weakly in greeting and the former Watcher held back any scathing thing he might have had to say about his stupid action. Instead he, Faith, and Buffy lifted the semi-vampire up bodily and carried him out to the old Citroen with the Mayor's assistant slinking along behind them. It took some work to get them all into the vehicle but it ended up with the nervous assistant in the passenger seat and the two Slayer's in the back with Xander with him leaning up against Faith.

What was frightening was that by the time they'd gotten back to the apartment, Xander's breathing had become much shallower. Faith had started to panic but managed to hold herself together as she and Buffy carried him into the house. Giles forcibly dragged the Mayor's assistant inside and took him aside to interrogate him about just what he'd been doing running up to two Slayer's like a fool.

While he did that, Faith and Buffy laid Xander on the couch and sank down on the floor next to him, watching with frightened eyes as he breathed shallower breaths with each moment. He then gasped and reached out to grab something, ending up with Faith's hand as she lunged forward. His head turned towards her, his eyes seeing her but not seeing her.

"Níl," he breathed. "Le do thoil ní an fear seo."

"Xander?" gasped Buffy as he went still a moment later. Tears began flowing down her face as she realized he was lying _too still_. "Oh God, Xander, no…"

Faith, stunned, just sat there staring at his slack face, his hand still gripped in hers. It took a moment for reality to set in and she fell backwards, closing her eyes tightly to keep the tears from coming. Her hand fell from his and she clenched both of them into fists as she let out a scream full of agony and pain.

It was as Giles came running into the room in a panic that Xander's body jerked upright and he began coughing, spitting up blood. He snarled then and opened his eyes, revealing them to be a swirling combination of orange and red, and spat, "Dàimitidh. _DÀIMITIDH!_" Still snarling, he flung his head back and screamed at the ceiling a string of insults in several different languages before ending it with a resounding "FUCK!"

Buffy blinked then reached out to touch him, fearing that he really wasn't there. She jumped when he jerked away from her and snarled wordlessly, a dark sound that made ancient human instincts remember predators in the dark that caused mind-numbing fear.

Faith just stared, her breath coming in the sharp gasps of one in shock. She watched as Xander moved slowly and turned on the couch so his feet where on the floor. And she jerked when he reached out and laid a hand on her head, his bloodied mouth twisting into a bitter smile.

"Not your fault," he whispered before letting his hand fall away. Then he shakily got to his feet and turned towards Giles, who had gone pale and shaking with the look on his face of some horrible realization. "Catalyst. That's what it needed. Otherwise…"

"Otherwise you would have been able to continue the way you were," gasped the former Watcher. "My God, Xander, I…"

The youth shook his head and said, "Its not your fault. Nor Faith's. Blame's on me for throwing myself in the way of her stake." He clenched a fist and growled out, "And if I had to do it again, I would."

Then Xander smiled bitterly and added, "Immortality doesn't feel as bad as I thought it would."

---

It took Faith days before she could get up the nerve to go looking for Xander. No matter what he said, it was still her fault that he no longer could hope for the immortality of a vampire to pass him by and leave some fragments of humanity. She was the cause of it – she had technically killed him and allowed it to assert itself.

It was _her_ fault.

When she did find him, it was in one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries as she went on patrol. He was just sitting there, crouched on top of a large headstone with a vacant expression on his face. As she got closer, she saw the trail of bloody tears that ran down his cheeks.

He heard her approach and looked at her as she came towards him, not moving anything but his head and eyes. She stopped moving just before her shoulder bumped his knee and stared up at him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Xander blinked at her then closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"No," he breathed. "This wasn't your fault, Faith."

"Yes, it was!"

He hissed and leapt down from the headstone, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her as he snarled, "No, it wasn't! Sooner or later it would have happened _anyway_. I would've made a wrong move and gotten too injured, causing this to happen. Or it would have happened on its own! But allover this is _not. Your. Fault!_"

Faith bit her lip and shuddered.

"I can't believe that," she hissed. "I _staked_ you."

Xander shook his head and snarled, "I _stopped you_ from killing an innocent man by throwing myself in the way."

"Still…"

"No, still. _I_ did it."

She let out a scream of frustration through her teeth then and snarled, "Dammit, Fangs, why do you have to be so damn noble?!"

"Its not nobility," he said softly. He looked into her eyes and finished, "Its what's _right_.

Then he drew her into a hug, gently stroking her hair, ignoring her sudden tensing at the contact. A moment later she relaxed when she realized this was all he was going to do. Though she admitted that she wished he would do more…and not just because she had gotten used to using her body like a shield.

She actually _did_ like him.

"It wasn't your fault," he breathed in her ear. "Please, for me, Faith, don't blame yourself for this."

She shuddered and wrapped her arms around him, fingers clenching in his shirt. "How can I not?" she whispered.

Xander leaned back and moved one hand to her chin, lifting her face up towards his. They were close and she realized quickly that she couldn't feel his breath on her face despite this. He frowned then said in response, "Blame Ethan Rayne for doing this to me in the first place. Hate him if you have to. But don't hate yourself."

Both of his hands moved to her face then and she was mildly shocked that they were still warm. She'd been expecting them to be cold like the flesh of the vampires she fought every night.

"Hating yourself," he said softly, "is a road I don't want to see you go down. I don't want to see you self-destruct."

Faith tried to smile and lifted her hands to touch his, surprised to find her fingers trembling.

"I promise I'll try."

Xander smiled at that and leaned his forehead against hers, eyes closed as his whole body shuddered with relief.

"Thank you."

She nodded then moved closer to him, laying her head on his chest as she wrapped her arms around him. His wrapped around her in a gentle embrace a moment later and she was shocked to find herself feeling safe. A flicker of sorrow brushed the feeling aside as she realized that she couldn't hear his heart beating anymore.

"Xander," she said softly, using his name for the first time.

"Yeah, Faith?"

"What are you going to do now?"

He sighed and she felt a slight shiver run through him after which his arms tightened around her. She looked up as he shook his head then met his lost gaze as he looked down at her.

"I don't know," replied Xander. "I guess…I guess just keep living." He then smiled and nodded, saying, "Yeah. I'll keep living. And we'll see where that takes me."

Faith smiled bitterly at that then leaned her head against his still chest again.

"So will I," she whispered.

Fingers lifted her chin up and he breathed, "Then we'll see where that takes _us_. Deal?"

She nodded and said, "Deal. You 'n me, Fangs. Us against the world."

Xander just smiled, saying, "Yeah. Us against the world."

TRANSLATION OF THE GAELIC: Roughly, "No. Please not this." Also "Dammit".


	13. The Rise and Fall of an Old Enemy

**Author's Note:** Guys, my vampires that this is based off of are entirely sunlight friendly. It hurts their eyes sometimes but no step outside and instant flambé. Xander is _slightly_ different than that type of vampire but not by much. So walking is sunlight is on.

**Chapter 13**

"So what did our friendly informant have to say?" asked Xander as the whole group settled down for a meeting in Giles' apartment. Wesley was even there, standing grumpily in a corner and eyeing the now full vampire suspiciously. Xander just bared his fangs at him then continued on about his business in the kitchen with a mug and a pouch of blood.

Giles looked up from a book and replied, "Ah. There's no certain proof as of yet, but Mister Finch was quite adamant that the Mayor is attempting to perform an Ascension."

"Which is?" asked Buffy as the microwave beeped. She shivered a bit as there was the sound of someone drinking, still quite unused to being around Xander during times when he was doing things quite obviously vampiric.

"Some sort of ancient ritual as far as I've been able to discern," replied the former Watcher. "The only thing I have truly been able to find out is that it caused an entire city to disappear."

Xander, mug in hand, arched an eyebrow and leaned on the back of the couch where Buffy and Faith sat. "That," he said after a moment, "sounds bad."

"Yes," said Wesley with a sniff. He pushed his glasses higher on his nose as he added, "It is too bad that we don't have access to anymore information on it."

"Full research mode?" queried Oz, who sat in a chair with Willow perched in his lap.

Giles nodded and Faith clapped her hands together, grinning at her sister Slayer then tilting her head back to do the same towards Xander.

"I vote for us being on full hunting duty. There's got to be something we can scare up."

Buffy chuckled as she said, "You just don't want to do research."

"Damn right," said Faith. "Always been horrible at anything resembling work. So, Fangs, you want to help me try and scare up some info?"

Xander frowned and took a sip from his mug with a thoughtful look.

"Sure," he replied. "I've gotten good at being scary."

Willow smiled at that, saying, "You're not scary to me."

"Couldn't ever be scary to you, Wills. So…meeting adjourned for research party and info hunting?"

"So it would appear," said Giles, ignoring Wesley's glare of protest with a sniff. "And do be careful, you three."

Faith grinned as she rose and gave Xander a shove towards the door, ignoring his whine of protest as she snatched his still somewhat filled mug and sat it on the counter.

"We'll be five by five," she said as the vampire cried, "Oh, c'mon, that's no fair! I don't steal your meals, Faith!"

She ignored him again and gave him a shove out the door, followed by an amused Buffy who waved before closing the door behind her. Giles shook his head at their antics, smiling a little at the fact that Xander and Faith seemed to have recovered their previous relationship after the incident with Finch. Then he turned and quickly got the research beginning, handing Willow and Oz a book before forcibly shoving Wesley into a chair and shoving another in his hands.

"Research," he growled at the younger Watcher in a ghost of his Ripper voice. "Now."

The young man gulped and quickly became lost in the book, not hearing the quite giggles from the werewolf and semi-witch across the room. Giles just smiled then picked up the book he'd set aside, flipping back to the page he'd been looking at before.

He hadn't much hope for his books.

Hence why he kept looking up at his phone, expecting a call from the Slayer's and vampire informing him they'd found something. He was disappointed when they returned with nothing.

It was starting to look like it was going to be a long, rough time before the Big Bad showed his face.

---

Willow gasped as two rough hands grabbed her, abruptly jerking her around to look into Xander's face. Only it wasn't the face of her best friend. This face was worn by wear and tear and there were four claws marring one side of his face.

"W-Willow?" he stammered, staring at her in shock. "No. No, you're dead. I saw you die!"

"I'm not…" she began only to remember a conversation from a month or so before. Her hand flew up to her mouth and she gasped, "Oh God…you're…"

"I'm _Xander_," he growled, expression stern.

"You're _Dante Wolfe_ version Xander," growled a dark voice from behind them. The scarred Xander turned with a hiss, one hand still gripping Willow's arm whilst the other went to the hilt of a sword that jutted over his shoulder. Willow gasped as she saw her Xander standing there, a scowl on his face and a light gleam of red in his eyes. "I'm _Darien O'Connell_ version Xander. Pleasure to meet you."

"_Vampire_," snarled scarred Xander, half-drawing the blade. "I'll kill you."

Xander snorted and sneered at that.

"Things are different here, _Slayer_. We're technically the same person."

"Doesn't matter." Scarred Xander released Willow, shoving her lightly back as he drew the broadsword that hung across his back. "I'm still going to kill you!"

He charged forward with a roar, swinging the huge sword with one hand. Xander snarled, eyes swirling entirely to red as he dodged the blade in a blur of motion. He hissed at it and danced back a step, narrowing his eyes venomously.

"_A Slayer's Blade?!_ How…"

"Giles and the witch Michael figured out how to make it for me," growled Scarred Xander with a feral smile. He chuckled darkly and purred, "It works wonders against these meager vampires. It'll be a treat to use it against a real one."

Xander snarled and hissed, "Willow, get out of here!" He and the other Xander circled each other, their eyes never leaving and always watching the other's movement.

Willow shook her head and cried, "No! Xander, I…!"

"Dammit, Willow, do it!" he screamed in a furious tone.

She jerked as though slapped and turned to run, tears in her eyes at his tone. As she ran, she dimly heard a voice say in her head, _Sorry, Wills. But you have to get away. He's dangerous…to everyone._

Scarred Xander grimly looked after her as she ran off and growled, "Heh. Guess you've got noble bones in you after all, vampire."

"I have several," snarled Xander in response. "How the hell did you get here?"

"Dunno. And don't really give a flying fuck frankly." The other Xander smiled coldly, his eyes gleaming. "Finding you makes everything worthwhile."

He charged forward with a roar then, broadsword in a two-handed grip, and Xander snarled like an animal in response. Then his form flickered and abruptly a huge, dark panther was in his place. Scarred Xander skidded to a halt at this sudden turn, a small amount of fear in his eyes. It was then quickly erased and replaced by a feral gleam.

"So," he said, "back to this old song and dance, eh? And here I thought we were different than our alternate counterparts. Eh, _O'Connell_?"

_Shut up and fight, Wolfe!_ Snarled a dim voice in his head.

Scarred Xander grinned and nodded. Then he snarled and leapt forward, tip of his broadsword lashing out at the beast in front of him. The panther batted it aside with a huge paw easily and roared as it lunged on into a strike.

An old battle never thought to be fought again had restarted.

---

Faith ran like a demon through the town, her arms tucked in close to her body and breathing in short bursts through her nose. She rushed through the empty streets of Sunnydale, hoping desperately that she wouldn't be too late.

Willow had arrived at the library in tears and babbling too quickly for them to understand. Oz had managed to calm her and they had finally gotten the story out of her.

The Xander from the alternate reality where Buffy had never come to town had somehow ended up in town. And their Xander had confronted him.

Faith would have waited for Giles to get his car on any other occasion but…she'd heard more about this than anyone else. Xander had told her more about Darien O'Connell and his world than he had anyone else – he'd gone into far deeper detail than he'd gone with Giles, even. And if alternate reality Xander was Dante Wolfe _before_ he'd been Turned, then Xander could be in trouble. Especially now that he would be seen as a true vampire – and no self-respecting Slayer from that other world would pass up the opportunity to fight one. _Most especially_ not Dante Wolfe.

She skidded around a corner just as a roar of pain and agony filled the air. The sound just made her run faster towards the Bronze, which was where Willow had run into the other Xander.

When she finally found the two of them, the sight was both awing and sickening at once.

The other Xander looked several years older and seemed harder, with four long scars marring one side of his face. There were new slashes all over him and it looked like his left arm was broken from the way it dangled uselessly at his side. But he still gripped a huge broadsword in his other hand, the blade of the sword stained red and dripping blood onto the concrete. The wild, feral grin that was set upon his face and the wild look in his hazel eyes made her want to vomit.

This Xander…there was nothing left in him of the one she knew.

Although currently she could see little in Xander that she knew. He was several feet away from the other Xander, his whole body loose but held as tight as a wire. Wounds from the broadsword slashed across his arms and it looked like it had clipped his cheek once and none of them had healed like any other wound he'd ever received. They just kept bleeding like they would have for any mortal; but that didn't seem to have stopped him. He crouched in a feral, animal way and she was horrified as he sniffed then looked towards her, his eyes a blazing crimson filled with an animal's rage.

That gaze nearly cast her entirely into a gibbering heap but she fought it back. She couldn't afford to do such a thing around these two.

"Faith," growled Xander, some humanity coming back into his gaze.

Scarred Xander sneered and said, "What's this? Another mortal lover? Heh, you'd have thought you'd learned from the last time."

Xander turned on him with a snarl at that, his fingers twitching into claws.

"I am _not_ Darien," he growled. "I won't risk that. Not again."

"Feh. Yeah, you're not him." Scarred Xander smirked and added, "He would've killed me earlier when he had the chance."

"We're the same, dammit! The only thing that's different is that we were possessed by two different people that Halloween!"

"_WRONG!_" roared the other Xander. He lifted his sword and pointed it at the other, snarling on, "I am a Slayer. Ever since that Halloween and Willow's death, I have been. And you are a Vampire. Its my duty to kill you."

Xander frowned for a moment then nodded, accepting that. His lips drew back from his teeth then, showing his fangs bared in a feral smile.

"Well, then," he growled, "that's that."

"Yeah," said Scarred Xander. "That's that. Are you ready to stop this charade now? C'mon, fight me with all you've got!"

"No."

"No? _No?!_ I'm disappointed."

Xander smirked, hissing, "Everyone gets disappointed sometimes."

"Feh. So you won't let the Rogue out to play?"

"I let him out to play and everything I love _dies_."

Scarred Xander shrugged at that. "Pity." He then rushed forward, causing Faith to let out a cry that got strangled in her throat. The broadsword hissed through the air and would have struck Xander's head from his shoulders if he hadn't dodged in a blur of motion. He ducked underneath the blade and dived right, kicking out at Scarred Xander's knee.

The man dodged but he and Faith both realized what the move had been a moment later. Xander had _feinted_.

Scarred Xander let out a hiss as Xander shoved off the ground with his hands, coming up at him with a roar. He couldn't get the broadsword around in time and they clashed, hitting the ground and rolling as they fought for the upper hand. Unfortunately the other Xander's efforts were useless. In hand-to-hand close combat with vampire like Xander's kind, most of their sort of Slayer's didn't stand a chance. Especially not against a vampire of the caliber that Darien O'Connell had been and passed on to Xander.

Faith watched, horrified, as Xander came up on top, his hands around the neck of the other Xander. He tensed, like he was about to snap the man's neck, then he stopped. Scarred Xander sneered and spat at him at this action, eyes blazing with fury.

"What?" he spat. "Lost your nerve now? C'mon, _kill me!_"

"Why should I?" snarled Xander. "Why shouldn't I just wait and see if we can throw you back into your reality?"

There was a moment of silence then Scarred Xander began to laugh, a hoarse choking sound.

"Send me back?! Send me back to just _what?_" The feral look in his eyes faded a bit and he continued in a somewhat softer voice, "My best friend is dead. The Slayer is dead. My friends…my team…they died in a last ditch assault. I have nothing worth going back to."

"So you want me to _kill_ you?!"

"What better way to die than at the hands of an old enemy?" asked Scarred Xander. "Eh, _O'Connell_?"

Xander just stared at him for a long moment then closed his eyes.

"This isn't right," he breathed.

"Right?" repeated the other Xander with a cough. "There is nothing right left in this world. And you're a fool to believe in such a thing."

Xander's eyes flew open at that and he snarled, "Maybe not in _your_ world. But in mine there's still good. There are still people fighting the good fight. The world's not lost yet."

"Good. Now why don't you do the _right_ thing? You know as well as I do that it is."

Xander hissed at that and Scarred Xander smirked.

"C'mon. _C'mon!_ C'mon, _vampire_, and kill me!" His expression grew cold as he added, "Else I'll come back after what you care about most instead of you."

Xander went still at that, his face turning to stone. But the fury in his crimson gaze grew.

"You…"

"I'll kill them," he hissed. "Every. Single. One. Starting with the beauty over there and Willow if I have to."

Faith saw the rage flash across Xander's face and screamed, "NO!" But she couldn't stop him as he roared angrily and twisted Scarred Xander's neck to the side. There was a loud snap and the Slayer reborn went still.

Xander stayed where he was for a moment, shoulders heaving as he breathed heavily. Then he jerked backwards and howled angrily at the sky, a cry that was probably heard all across town and sent creatures of the night running in terror.

Only a few could have heard the agony in that scream.

Faith slowly moved towards him, finding herself shaking as she did so. She'd just seen what he could do…and it scared her.

He got to his feet as she moved closer and stood there, his back towards her for a long moment. Then he turned and look at her, his eyes still crimson and full of anger and fire. She came to a stop some distance away from him and he stared at her like she was a ghost.

"Faith," he growled.

"Xander," she breathed, her voice in the hushed tone one gives a holy word.

He frowned then started, "I," before he choked and collapsed to his knees. She fell next to him, wrapping an arm about his shoulders as she leaned over him. As she watched, he began to shake violently and closed his eyes tightly as their color began to darken to the color of blood.

"No," he hissed, voice low and hoarse. "No, I won't let you."

Faith wasn't quite sure what he was talking about but she reached out to touch his face with her other hand, saying, "Stay with me. Xander, stay with me. Please."

"Faith…Faith, help me…"

"How?" she asked.

One of his bloodied hands came up to grasp hers where it touched his cheek and he lifted his face to look at her. Crimson and blood red fought for domination in his eyes and she saw an intense madness in them that glued her to the spot.

"Stay," was all he hissed before he tugged her forward into an embrace. His face he buried in her shoulder and she touched her hand to it, running her fingers through his somewhat shaggy hair. She wrapped her other arm around his back and pulled him as close as she could.

"I'm here," she breathed. "I'm not going anywhere, Xander. Stay with me. Please…stay with me."

He shuddered then she heard him gasp against her neck, "Always."

There were still sitting like that when Giles and the rest arrived in, leaving Faith to realize that everything had occurred within a matter of ten minutes. It had seemed things had taken place an eternity longer than that.

Willow threw up when she saw the body and the state Xander was in. Oz immediately took her to the other side of the car where she couldn't look and see the things going on.

Buffy and Giles slowly came towards them, the former Watcher having intense worry etched into his face.

"Faith," he said softly, "is he…is he still here?"

She frowned and asked, "Why wouldn't he be?"

"There is such a thing with his type of vampire's called a Rogue. Intense battles, emotions, or injury can bring it out. I…I would have thought he would have told you…"

"Fear," breathed Xander, though only Faith heard him. "Didn't want…fear. Not from you."

She turned her head and leaned it against his, pressing a kiss against the back of his neck. "Never," she hissed, meaning it with all of her being.

"Xander," said Giles softly. He reached out and laid a hand on the vampire's shoulder. "Come on, son, let's get you home."

"Body?" queried Xander against Faith's neck. She relayed the message and the former Watcher looked at the still form lying nearby.

"I'll take care of it," he replied. "Let's just get you home."

There was a nod of confirmation then Buffy and Faith levered Xander to his feet and led him towards the car. Giles got in the driver's seat and Willow piled into the front – Oz and Buffy decided to stay and keep an eye on the body. The ride back to the apartment passed in silence and no one spoke until they had gotten Xander into his room and on the bed.

Willow came in with bandages, disinfectant, and a bowl of water with two rags in it as Giles left. She sat them down on the floor then knelt down next to Faith, who was leaning on the bed and stroking Xander's cheek. The redheaded witch regarded the Slayer for a moment before she breathed, "You're in love with him, aren't you?" Her voice was slightly bitter as she said this but it meant nothing – Xander was nothing but her friend now. It was just old feelings showing up despite themselves.

Faith stiffened then relaxed shaking her head.

"Guess I am," she said softly. "I know you don't like me much…"

Willow shrugged at that. "I can deal." Then she reached into the bowl and picked up one of the rags, squeezing the excess water out of it. She leaned forward then and peeled back the fabric of her best friends jeans where they'd been torn over a wound. As she gently cleaned the blood away, Xander whimpered slightly but didn't move. He'd drifted into sleep the moment they'd gotten him into the car and hadn't made a move towards consciousness since.

"That'll work better if we take off his clothes first," said Faith. Willow blinked then nodded and together the pair of stripped the bloodied clothing away, leaving Xander in only a pair of boxers. In silence, the two of them cleaned the wounds he'd received and bound them up then sat back after the Slayer had pulled a blanket up over him.

Willow sniffed after a moment and asked, "Why isn't he healing?"

"Dunno," replied Faith. She looked sideways at the witch and gingerly reached out to lay her hand over hers. "But he'll be five by five."

"You think so?"

"I _know_ so."

Willow nodded then asked, "Are you staying?"

"He asked me to stay with him before you all got there," breathed the other girl. She leaned forward and touched his cheek, finishing, "I'm not going anywhere until he tells me otherwise."

The redhead nodded and the two of them sat there in silence, watching Xander for each their own reasons. Though they realized that their reasons were closely related and they came to understand each other a little better.

They would never get along perfectly but they knew they didn't need to. Xander wouldn't ask them to change who they were or become best friends. He would ask for what they had just achieved.

Harmony.


	14. Is It the End of the World? PART 1

**Chapter 14**

Xander woke up with a headache, an ache in his stomach, and with sunlight blazing painfully down on his face. He groaned and rolled over away from it with a growl, grumbling a curse at it in some language that Darien had known. Slowly he opened his eyes and managed to get them entirely open as Faith entered the room with a mug of what smelled like coffee in her hands.

She blinked at him for a moment then set down the mug on his dresser with a shaking hand. Slowly she walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, her expression suddenly strained.

"You scared me," she said in a low voice. Her fingers tensed where her right hand rested on the bed and she ducked her head. "Why didn't you _tell me_? Why didn't you tell me about the Rogue?"

Xander blinked then closed his eyes in shame.

"I didn't want you to be afraid of me," he whispered. "Buffy fears me. She doesn't know that I smell it every time she's around me. Willow and Giles do too but they manage their way around for the most part."

Faith looked up at that and reached out to touch his face. He opened his eyes to look at her in confusion.

She smiled and growled out, "I. Don't. Fear. You. And I never will."

"I wish I could believe that," breathed Xander. He shuddered and continued, "Faith…you don't know what the Rogue is. It…it is nothing but a _monster_. And it would kill you and everyone else without a second thought."

"I don't believe that."

He blinked at her and she bared her teeth in a fierce smile.

"I don't believe that," she repeated. "I don't believe that you could so easily lose to something. Even if it _is_ a monster. You're stronger than that, Fangs."

He stared at her for a moment then nodded slightly. Then he groaned and curled up underneath the sheets, arm sliding around to hug his stomach. Faith's eyes went wide at the motion and she said, "Shit. I'll be right back."

Xander just nodded and closed his eyes, grimacing as the pain rose and fell in waves for a moment before settling to stillness again. By that time Faith had returned with another mug and handed it to him, watching with some awe as he drank it all in a matter of moments. She then took it back and asked, "More?"

He just nodded and lay there waiting for her to return. It was rather surprising when she came back balancing three mugs on a plate and with a sleepy-eyed Giles in her wake.

As Faith handed him one of the mugs, Giles smiled and said, "Its good to see you awake again, Xander."

"Good to be awake," he growled out before turning his attention to the mug in his hands. He grimaced a bit as he swapped it out a moment later for another but it wasn't because he wasn't adjusted to drinking blood. It was just rather disgruntling to be waited on in his current state.

When he finished off the last mug and waved aside Faith's question if he wanted more, he looked up at Giles and asked, "How long have I been out?"

"Almost two weeks now," replied the former Watcher. He took off his glasses and polished them briefly before slipping them back on. "We rather unfortunately lost the Books of Ascension because Wesley is a fool and a buffoon. Buffy was briefly telepathic and we had a large debacle over that whole matter with one of the lunch lady's attempting to poison the school. Luckily some youth named Jonathan stumbled onto it and we were able to stop that. Then we failed to retrieve a box crucial to the Ascension once again thanks to that fool's bumbling."

"One good thing though," pointed out Faith, "whilst Willow was kidnapped she managed to get pages out of the Books of Ascension. Turns out he's going to turn into a demon."

Abruptly it seemed like the room turned twenty degrees colder. The Slayer and former Watcher both turned wide eyes on Xander, who was almost shaking with fury.

"They. Kidnapped. Willow?" he growled out, his eyes focused on a point beyond either of them.

Giles frowned then replied, "Yes."

Xander nodded then looked up, red flooding over the green-tinged hazel of his eyes.

"Whatever happens, Giles, _I'm_ going to be the one to rip out the Mayor's throat when he goes through with this." He clenched his fists and snarled out, "_No one_ hurts one of my girls. Not anymore."

---

"So this is the headquarters of your little group?" The Mayor smirked as he looked around the library, ignoring the looks of shock on the faces around him. "Hmm…not much, is it?"

"Get out," spat Buffy, venom in her eyes.

The Mayor chuckled and said, "Now, now, that's not very ladylike."

A low, feral growl from behind her made Buffy suddenly aware of Xander's presence. He rose from his seat at the table next to Willow and took a step forward, his eyes flooded red with anger and his fingers twitching into claws. Another growl rumbled up from deep in his chest and the older Slayer was reminded of the panther she'd entered the library to find him shifted into one day.

"She said 'Get out'," snarled the vampire.

The Mayor turned his gaze on him and smirked.

"Ah. The young knight poisoned by the dark. I could help you with that you know."

Several in the library jerked at that revelation but Xander just laughed, the sound harsh. He then sneered and fixed the man in front of him with the coldest look he had. "Do you actually think you could get me with that? I _accept_ what I've become." Then he blurred and was right in the Mayor's face, his red eyes flecked with traces of crimson. "And I promise you I'll be the last thing you see after you have your little Ascension."

"We'll see," said the Mayor, looking not the least bit worried. He then turned and smiled at the all, saying, "Well then. I guess I'll see you all on Graduation. I promise it'll be one heck of a speech."

With a flippant little wave and that continuing smile, he turned and left the library without a glance backwards. Xander growled again and his whole body tensed, limbs quivering as he fought himself back from springing after the man.

Willow's hand on one shoulder and Faith's presence at his other side very firmly brought him back and he took a deep death, closing his eyes. When he opened them again most of the red was gone except for a few faint flickers. "Thanks, girls," he breathed to the two young women standing on either side of him.

His best friend's fingers tightened slightly on his shoulder and he sensed her smile. Faith just grinned and said, "No problem, Fangs." She then looked at Giles and added, "Guess its back to researching then?"

"No need," said Angel as he suddenly appeared out of the shadows. Since his return, the ensouled vampire had taken careful pains to avoiding the group, though mostly Xander in general. But what he had found was too important to waste time avoiding them on. "I found these in the murdered professor's apartment."

Giles took the sheaf of papers from him and sorted through them, immediately muttering a "Dear Lord" which put every member of the Scooby Gang on high alert. Willow moved quickly over and looked at it, a grin spreading across her face at what she read.

"What is it?" asked Buffy.

"He'll be vulnerable," breathed Giles. "As a demon…"

Willow smiled and finished, "We'll be able to kill him."

There was silence after that then a cold, feral smile twisted Xander's lips.

"Now that," he purred, "is news that I like."

---

"Hey, Fangs."

"Faith." Xander turned and his eyes widened as he saw the dark Slayer leaning against the doorframe of his room, wearing only a t-shirt that just barely provided her modesty. And he knew she wasn't wearing anything else because he could smell everything about her. "Wha…"

She smiled in a sultry way and moved away from the door, pushing it shut behind her and twisting the lock. Then she stalked towards him like a cat on the prowl and spoke in a low, smoky voice.

"I want you."

"Faith, I…I can't."

"Don't give me that bullshit about you being immortal and me being mortal and us being hurt." She moved closer to him and grabbed his face, dragging it down to hers before he could react. "We could die," she hissed. "At any time. Either of us. And I want to feel something real before I go."

"Faith," breathed Xander. Then he was cut off as she pressed her lips to his and all sane thoughts left him. He grabbed her, tugging her body close against his as he wrapped his arms around her. His senses were full of her presence and her scent and he was acutely aware in that moment that he was in desperate, mind-reeling love with her.

When they pulled away from each other, he saw Faith's lip was bleeding and felt his fangs pressing hard into his lower lip. She smiled and licked it away without a word before dragging him back down into another kiss.

"Faith," he breathed as they paused for a moment, "I can't do this. I can't bear the thought of having you and then losing you someday."

She smiled and reached up to run her fingers through his hair, saying, "I give you my permission then."

He blinked.

"Wh-what?"

"I give you my permission," said Faith in a sure voice of stone, "that if I am about to die, you can turn me."

"Faith, I can't."

"I'm not afraid," she breathed, silencing his words with her fingers. They quivered against his lips and he kissed them gently. "I know what I want, Fangs. And its you."

Xander just stared at her, acutely aware that a scene from Darien's life was having a parallel in his own. Only Arana had been no Slayer and it hadn't been Darien that turned her. Then he lifted a hand and touched Faith's cheek, his fingertips brushing lightly across her skin.

"I want this too," he breathed.

"Then what's stopping us?" asked Faith. She arched her body against his then and he groaned as his own reacted instinctively. Tugging her close with his other arm, he growled low in his chest, the white that had dominated his eyes a moment ago shifted to tinges of yellow and pink amongst the hazel. He bent his head to her shoulder and nipped her lightly with his fangs, causing a reactive hitch of breath that he hadn't expected.

His entire being ached for her, palms itching to know her every curve, his mouth burning as it longed to taste her blood and skin. But he closed his eyes, shoving all of that back and away from himself. Slowly, he pushed her away from him and shook his head firmly.

"I _can't_," he repeated. Lifting his eyes to hers, he breathed, "I swore I wouldn't repeat Darien's mistakes. He…he fell in love with a mortal woman – Arana – and she eventually asked another to turn her. I…God, Faith, I love you but I don't want you to have to live next to me like this."

She stared at him for a moment then slapped him, hissing, "You bastard." Then he was surprised by her shivering and wrapping her arms around him, to which he wrapped his own around her, leaning his head against hers.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I know," she said softly. "But…I understand, I think. So, its just friends from here on out."

Xander nodded weakly and replied, "Just friends. I can't give you anything more without hurting you, Faith. And I never want to do that."

"And this doesn't hurt me?"

"I want to see you live," he hissed, grasping her chin so she looked up at him. His expression softened as he continued, "I want to watch you grow old. Fall in love with someone who you can grow old with. Have kids that I can be an uncle to."

"Love someone else?" she queried, looking at him closely. "You really think I'm gonna be able to do that, Fangs?"

"I can only hope."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess so…"

She sighed then smiled, asking, "Can I at least stay here for tonight? I'll be good, I promise. I just, I don't want to be alone tonight, y'know?"

"Yeah," he said, smiling, "I know the feeling. C'mon."

Shutting the door and turning off the lights, he carefully moved her towards his bed, nervously climbing into it next to her. Shoving a pillow up against the headboard, he leaned against it then pulled her back against his chest. She shifted for a moment then leaned her head back, turning so it was nestled against his neck. Her arms folded over his where he wrapped them around her and she sighed contentedly.

"It feels safe here," Faith mumbled. "With you…it's the only place I've felt safe for a long time."

Xander smiled and leaned his head against hers, closing his eyes. "I'll keep you safe for as long as I can."

"You want to keep everyone safe."

"You most of all," he murmured, tilting his head to kiss her forehead. "I do love you, Faith. Just…I can't."

"I know," she breathed, smiling despite the sadness she felt. Then she curled up against him, content in the safety she felt in the comforting circle of his arms. And slowly they both drifted to sleep together, two souls that wanted so much to be together but whom circumstances could not allow.


	15. Is It the End of the World? PART 2

**Chapter 15**

Faith woke up feeling better than she ever had before – content was the best word she could put to the emotion. And as she opened her eyes, she saw the reason why.

Xander slept soundly next to her, one arm pillowed under his head and the other flung possessively over her waist. She smiled and slowly slid her fingers up the arm that clung to her, carefully tracing the lines of lean muscle. Her hand then moved to his chest before sliding up to caress the back of his neck.

She just wished that this was real.

His eyes blinked open – two bleary green-tinged hazel spots in the early morning light. He smiled at her and murmured, "Morning."

"Hi," she said softly. Her fingers fluttered at the back of his neck, playing with the downy hair there. "I'm gonna guess this can't happen again?"

"No" replied Xander, frowning. "I'm sorry."

Faith trembled in reaction and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, drawing her firmly against his body. She closed her eyes and laid her head on his chest, wishing she could hear the steady pulse of a heart within him. But she didn't really need to – she knew that it was there, even if it no longer worked.

And she knew that, despite the fact that he said he couldn't be with her, he loved her with every fiber of that unbeating heart.

"Can we stay here for just a little while longer though?"

"Yes."

They just lay there together in the early hours of the morning until the sun rose fully and blazed into the room. Xander covered his eyes with his arm then sighed, saying, "Somehow I feel that after today everything is going to change."

"For better or worse?"

"I don't know," he replied in a low voice. Then he tilted his head towards hers, continuing, "But so long as I have you, Wills, and the rest…it'll always be better."

Faith frowned then said, "You believe in us."

"I trust you all to keep me sane."

Xander then grasped her chin and lifted it so he was looking down into her eyes.

"And you," he breathed, "I trust you to pull me back if I fall."

"I want _you_ to pull yourself back. Not me."

"I want you to be my safety net if I don't succeed."

Faith frowned then nodded, causing Xander to smile and pull her into a hug. Then he shifted and moved to rise from the bed, which she repeated after a moment. Though she wondered, _But what will you do after we're gone, Xander? What will you do then?_

"We should go," she said softly as she sat on the edge, almost unwilling to move. To move from there was to forget the night spent in his arms almost – and to long to be there again in that place of pure safety.

"Yeah," he agreed, "time to go prepare to kill a demon. And see if I graduate high school. Goody goody."

---

"Congratulations to the class of 1999. You've all proved more or less adequate. This is a time of celebration, so sit still and be quiet. _Spit out that gum!_ Please welcome our distinguished guest speaker, Sunnydale's own Mayor, Richard Wilkins the Third. _I saw that gesture. You see me after Graduation._"

Xander snorted and muttered under his breath, "Sure, he'll come see you in your soon to be non-existent office."

Willow covered a giggle as she hushed him. The pair turned their attention back to the Mayor, the vampire tensing when the sky went dark. An intense feeling of dread and evil seeped into the air and Xander couldn't help but growl softly, his eyes starting to glow red in reaction to the evil.

"NOW!" roared Xander as the Mayor transformed into a gigantic, serpentine demon. He flew to his feet and ripped away his robe, revealing dark clothes underneath and a slim rapier at his hip. Around him the other students threw off their robes to reveal more weaponry and flame-throwers and at Buffy's yell they went after the big demon.

Leaving the Mayor for later, he spun to leap towards the vampires that were lined up behind them. He ripped the rapier from its sheath and fell upon one vampire with a snarl as he swept its head from its shoulders. Then he went through three others before the vampires screamed, "Traitor!" and started running.

He grinned ferally when they ran into the waiting group, who had Angel, Wesley, and Faith standing with them.

Knowing they would be fine, he turned back towards the larger battle in time to see Snyder get eaten. If it hadn't happened in the midst of a life-threatening battle he might have started dancing. Instead he gripped his sword tightly and darted forward, blurring as he put his powers into use for the first time since the fight had begun. As the Mayor darted down towards Buffy, he leapt over the Slayer's head and appeared before smashing feet first into the demon's face. The beast roared then bellowed in pain and rage as he swiped his rapier across his face in a storm of lightning fast motions.

Darting back he smiled ferally at the demon, which had now turned its full attention on him instead of his friend.

"_You?!_" snarled the monstrous creature, its maw dripping with saliva. Xander grinned and replied, "Yeah, me. C'mon, big beastie. Scared of a little ole' vampire?"

The former Mayor roared angrily and lunged at him at the speed faster than Buffy could move. But Xander could move at twice the speed of Buffy on a _bad_ day. And today was not one of those days.

He darted and dove, moving quicker than the eye could see around the big demon. His blade struck again and again, bringing up more wounds and driving the beast to madness, insuring that it would only come after him now. The only problem was the smell of the demon's blood combined with the intensity of the fight was bringing his inner demon to life.

And after the battle with his other self, it was closer to the surface than ever.

Snarling, Xander fought against it with all his willpower and shoved the rapier into the former Mayor's side, burying it up to the hilt. The monstrous creature bellowed in pain and lashed out at him with its huge maw, trying to catch him within it. He darted away and stood for a moment, smiling mockingly up at the demon with his eyes almost entirely overwhelmed by blood red.

The demon didn't need anything more to charge after him.

And it didn't realize the danger in following him until it smashed into the library after him only to see him crash through a window.

When the whole school went up in flames, Xander didn't watch. He couldn't. He could only lay on the ground where he'd been thrown by the explosion, any wounds he'd received healing as he tried to fight down his inner demon.

Buffy was the first one to find him and she started to approach with a worried frown, only to stop as he snarled at her in a deep voice that was more animal than human.

"Stay…back."

"Xander," she breathed, reaching a hand out towards him though she was several feet away. "Xander, stay with us."

He lifted his head from where it rested on the ground and she gasped, staggering backwards in reaction. Crimson flooded his eyes, any other color having lost the fight for control of the usually hazel orbs. His face twisted into a grimace but continuously shifted into an insane, feral smile that sparked off the age-old human instinct to run at the sight of a bigger predator. Yet she found herself unable to do anything but stare at him, all her limbs frozen in horror.

He stared at her then that insane expression dominated his face for a moment, causing her to choke on a scream. For a moment he started to rise then flung himself back to the ground, that expression exchanged for one of anguish and anger. A scream ripped its way out of her friend's throat and she would remember it for the rest of her life. Nothing else could sound so human and animal at once.

An eternal struggle was going on before her eyes and she could do nothing to help him.

Xander thrashed on the ground as she stood numbly and one actual word managed to make it out of his throat.

"_FAITH!_"

The intensity of that cry made tears stream down Buffy's face and she fell to her knees sobbing. It was a foolish thing to do with him fighting with himself so close but she couldn't help it. He was breaking in front of her and for all her power she could do nothing.

And even if she could help him…she wasn't sure if she could bring herself to. Because no matter how much she swore him as a friend, the Slayer in her saw him as nothing more than a vampire.

Her fellow Slayer suddenly lunged past her, hair wild with leaves and arms scored with lashes from branches and the previous battle. But none of that bothered her and she paid no heed to Buffy. Faith ran straight to the writhing figure on the ground and threw herself on top of him without a thought of safety, grappling with him as he snarled and fought against her.

"Fight it!" she screamed, dark eyes wild. "Damnit, Xander, _FIGHT IT!_"

There was another moment of screaming then the insane look returned and Xander clapped a hand against Faith's face.

"He can't," he sneered in a low voice that rang with insanity and the urge to kill. "You're too late, girl. I'm the one in control now."

A feral look crossed the dark Slayer's face and she jerked his hand away before slamming her head into that sneering face. She then grasped it in her hands as the demon snarled and dove down to catch that snarling mouth with her own. Buffy screamed in fear for her sister Slayer then was shocked as that insanity that was in her friend seemed to be driven back by that kiss. It drove the demon – the Rogue – back with a surprised cry as Xander's presence surged forward, enlivened by this contact with the fiery woman. The kiss allowed her scent and touch and presence to reach him and he fought his personal demon down with a new fervor.

Buffy didn't realize until minutes later that it was over. Xander lay on the ground on his back, his chest heaving though he didn't need to breath, and his eyes closed. The expression on his face was one of intense pain and it made him look far older than he was – and would forever remain. Faith lay limply on top of him, her entire body trembling and shaking in reaction to the realization of what she had just done. And in realization that the Rogue was far worse than anything they had faced.

Xander had been right.

It _truly_ deserved to be called _monster_.

"Faith," breathed Buffy, finally managing to move towards them. "Is he…?"

"He's still him," replied the brunette in a tired voice. She lifted her head from where it lay on his chest and touched his face gently, smiling at the lines of pain lessened at her embrace. "He's still Xander."

"Thank God…"

Buffy collapsed again, sinking bonelessly against a tree, unable to move anymore. Not after what she had just seen and witnessed. And not while her Slayer side was enlivened, screaming at her even more to kill this dangerous vampire allowed into their midst.

Faith, unknowing of the struggle in her sister Slayer, slowly sat up and stroked Xander's face, washing away the lines of pain one at a time with her touch. When he finally opened his eyes, they were an orange-tinted hazel and he grimaced at her. Though it might have been a smile only horribly gone wrong.

Also, unlike Buffy, she felt no scream within her to kill the man lying in front of her. He had worked his way into her heart and soul too well from the day they had met to allow her to feel the urge to kill him. It was too foreign an emotion for her to even acknowledge, let alone think about and dwell on.

Leaning over him, she touched his face again with gentle fingers, wishing dearly he would really let her in. "You won," she breathed.

Xander blinked at her then tried smiling again, this time doing a bit better.

"You saved me," he murmured, almost too softly for her to hear.

Faith smiled and brushed his hair away from his face, saying, "Always will." Then she kissed him again, this time pressing her tongue into his mouth and running it over his fangs. Blood welled up from where she'd deliberately sliced it on them and Xander stiffened at the kiss and as his world's Slayer blood ran down his throat.

The only thing he could find to compare it to in Darien's memories was the blood of a vampire from that world. Only that could give the kind of jolt and power that this filled him with.

She pulled away a moment later and winced until the cut healed itself, swallowing the blood that welled up until it did so. Carefully, she pulled Xander into a sitting position then was surprised as he managed to struggle upright with little help from her.

"I'm fine," he said in a soft voice as she gave him a worried look. "Fine for a good little while." He then looked at Buffy and grimaced, suddenly remembering her arriving to see everything. "Buff…"

The blond flew to her feet and rushed to his side, crushing him into a hug that would have killed him were he still human. She sobbed into his chest and he wrapped an arm around her, wishing he didn't sense that her turmoil about him had grown.

He was becoming more and more of a danger in her eyes and he wasn't sure how long she could stand to refuse what her Calling was telling her to do.

In silence, he just stood there and stroked his friend's hair, waiting for her to regain her composure. When she did, she tried to pull away from him but he held her there, drawing Faith close with his other arm.

"Xander," breathed Buffy, wanting to tell him so badly that she didn't think she could be around him.

"Shh," he said. "I know."

"Oh God…"

Xander pressed his hand briefly over her mouth then breathed, "Later. We'll worry later. There are more important matters right now."

Faith chuckled and shuffled a step forward, slowly getting the three of them moving towards the chaos that had surrounded the wreckage of the high school. Buffy made like she was about to protest her friends words but stopped, just pressing herself close to him and reveling in a presence she might soon be unable to stand being near.

"What's more important?" she asked in a tired voice.

Xander smiled in a sad, wistful sort of way. He looked at the smoking wreckage as they limped towards it and managed a chuckle.

"We graduated high school."


	16. Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

**Chapter 16**

"I wish you didn't have to go."

Xander smiled at Willow where she sat on the end his bed as he continued on his way across the room towards his bag. He dropped the armful of shirts he held into it then moved to sit down beside her, wrapping an arm about her shoulders. She leaned into the embrace with a little sigh and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you," she said softly.

"Gonna miss you too, Wills," he murmured. Then he nudged her head lightly with his shoulder, causing her to look up at him. "But I _need_ to do this. After what happened at graduation I can't risk losing it again. Plus…Buffy needs a break from me being around or she's going to snap."

His best friend nodded in understanding and breathed, "I wish I could go with you."

"You're needed here more than I am," said Xander seriously. "_Buffy_ needs you more than me if anything."

"Yeah…"

They settled into silence for a moment then the redhead asked, "Is Faith going with you?"

Xander chuckled in response.

"As if I could keep her from _not_ coming with me."

"You love her."

"Yeah," he said softly, ducking his head. "She loves me too. But we both know we can't ever do anything about it. I'm immortal and I don't think I'd have the will to turn her."

Willow smiled sadly at that. She slowly lifted her hand to touch his face and said, "Buffy told me she saved you."

Xander close his eyes and turned his head away from her, the muscles in his jaw jumping as he clenched his teeth. "Yeah," he muttered. "She did. That's another reason I shouldn't be around Buffy."

"Faith saving you?"

"My dear other half," corrected the vampire. He sighed, shaking his head, and continued, "It…its worse than Darien's. That thing is vicious – and it's starting to realize that I don't have complete control over it."

Willow frowned and asked, "But…why would it be worse than Darien's? Shouldn't it be the same?"

"_I'm_ not the same as Darien, Wills. And I suppose it being so much more vicious could be attributed to the Hellmouth." He opened his eyes as he finished, "I wouldn't expect us to have been born on top of this thing and not be affected by it. Plus…there's something else."

"Hmm?"

He turned to look at her and asked, "Remember the hyenas?"

Willow grimaced at that. "How could I forget?" she asked.

Xander nodded and said, "I lied. Everything I did…I remember. And there's still something of that spirit left. I've talked with Giles about this and he said that people could have a number of small spirits within them. But when it's a big one…the smaller one's usually get swallowed."

"You…you think the Rogue…" Willow paused, frowning, then continued, "You think it _ate_ the hyena?"

"Maybe. That might explain its heightened viciousness."

He sighed and rose, saying, "I'm leaving to help Buffy. And to wrestle this thing under control. If I don't…" His voice trailed off and his fists clenched as he tucked his chin to his chest. Willow couldn't see his expression but she knew what it was – it would be that stern, determined expression that she had known for a long time he had but few others had. Rising, she wrapped her arms around him in a hug from behind and felt his spine stiffen. Then his hands rose and rested on hers, allowing her to feel the slight tremor in them.

"It would kill you all," he breathed. "And I won't allow that."

"I know," murmured Willow. She then moved around to face him, looking up with a sad smile. "You'll beat this, Xander. You've beaten everything else that's come up since that Halloween and you'll do the same with this."

He smiled gratefully at that.

"Thanks, Wills.

---

Xander rose from making sure the last bag was secured on the back of the motorcycle and looked behind him. Giles, Willow, Buffy, and Oz all stood there giving their goodbyes to Faith; even Wesley was lingering nearby to say farewell before he went back to England.

After a moment, Buffy broke away from the group and walked over to him, nervousness in every motion. He stood still as she approached, not wanting to make a motion and scare her off. Her fear of him and herself had been sitting heavily upon the edges of his senses ever since she'd arrived.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

Xander sighed and said, "Buff, you don't need to be sorry. None of what you feel is your fault. It's your _calling_ and what you were born to do. Who are you to fight again it?"

"Faith can."

"Faith's different." He smiled and took a step forward, reaching out towards her. She jerked but held herself still to allow his fingertips to touch her cheek. "You let yourself fear me too much before you allowed yourself to love me again."

Tears streamed down Buffy's cheeks at that and she wanted desperately to hug her friend then. But she couldn't bring herself to move forward and she would run if he took another step. He knew that too.

"Xander…"

"I'm doing this for you as well as me," he said softly. "Recover, Buffy. Conquer the fear and remember that I would _never_ hurt you. I'm your friend, first and foremost."

She smiled at him and nodded, saying, "I will. I promise."

He let his arm fall then and she stepped away, her hands trembling. She tucked them underneath her arms and smiled at him again – a smile he returned.

Giles and Willow approached then, with Faith stalking forward in front of them. She planted herself next to him and said, "Well…guess this is it."

"Indeed," said Giles, looking at the pair of them. "Be careful, the both of you. And come back."

"No worries on that one, Giles," said Xander. "We'll be back."

Willow smiled brightly at that then asked, "Where are you going first?"

The vampire frowned thoughtfully then looked down at Faith, who smirked. She then shrugged and answered, "Wherever the road takes us first."

"Sounds like a plan," commented Oz.

Xander chuckled at that and said, "So it does. Stay Zen-ful, Oz-man."

"Stay sane."

"That I intend to do no matter what."

The werewolf nodded and wrapped an arm about Willow's waist, drawing her close to his side. She cuddled next to him and smiled at Xander, who just nodded at her. They'd said their goodbye the day before when he'd been packing.

He looked at the woman next to him then and asked, "You ready?"

"I was born ready, Fangs," replied Faith with a sultry smirk.

Xander chuckled then climbed onto the motorcycle, the Slayer sliding on behind him. They both looked at the people that were their family and waved. Then he revved the engine to life and they were gone, off on a journey they didn't know the end to.

As Faith's arms slid around his waist, Xander looked up at the sign that bid them goodbye on leaving Sunnydale. And he knew that they'd be back.

_We are now going to skip forward over the events of Season 4 with the Initiative and Adam. Why? 'Cause I don't wanna write it. And I'm not going to write everything that goes down with Xander and Faith except in maybe an offshoot that consists of several drabbles. Instead we are going to begin sometime into Season 5!_


	17. Returning Is Such Welcome Joy

**Chapter 17**

"I always wanted to try this. You know that thing with worms, where if you have one, you rip it in half, and you get two worms? Do you think that'll work with you?"

Buffy looked ready to retort when suddenly there was a presence she hadn't felt in a long time. The woman holding her seemed to sense it too and frowned, looking around.

A cold male voice spoke from above them then from the darkness of the rafters.

"Y'know, I don't think the worm thing'll work with her."

Xander suddenly dropped down from the darkness, landing on the balls of his feet with a cat-like grace and smiling at the woman. His eyes burned crimson as he purred, "How about you?"

He launched himself forward at the woman, who flung Buffy aside and caught the vampire's fists easily.

"Who the hell are you?" she snarled.

"Santa," replied Xander with a smirk. "And here's your present."

Fire exploded in the woman's face from where his hands were caught in hers and she stumbled backwards with a scream. Buffy blinked then did so again when a dark, slim figure appeared next to her with a sigh. "I keep telling him he needs to stop making puns."

Faith then smiled down at her sister Slayer and extended a hand.

"You five by five, B?" she asked.

"Been better," replied Buffy. She then turned and looked at the monk, who was slumped over in the chair. "We need to get him out of here."

Faith nodded and said, "Let's do it then. Xan'll be fine."

Buffy blinked at that.

"Faith…she's tougher than me."

The other Slayer smiled in a cold fashion and said, "Xander's tougher than he used to be. Now c'mon, B."

They moved over to the monk and Buffy carefully lifted him from the chair, freezing when she heard the woman yell, "Hey! Hands off my holy man!" Faith just turned and waved at her, chirping, "Ours now!"

"Yeah," said Xander, coming up behind the woman and grabbing her shoulder with one hand. His fingers dug in and he slung her around into a concrete pillar a moment later with next to no effort. "Ours now."

"You little _shit!_" roared the woman as she came up out of the rubble. "You broke my nails!"

The vampire arched an eyebrow and said, "Okay." Then he vanished entirely as the two Slayer's had jumped out the window of the factory after he'd slung her into the pillar. That left the woman to stomp out her rage and apparently bring the building down on herself.

Xander appeared on the ground and approached the girls just as the monk died. From the stricken looks on their faces, he knew something was wrong.

"What?" he asked.

"Dawn," breathed Buffy, sitting in a shaken heap on the ground. "Dawn's not real."

"Dawn?" repeated Xander. "Who…oh." He remembered suddenly Faith talking about a girl who was Buffy's little sister. A girl he didn't remember in the least. Whatever had happened to cause her to exist…it hadn't affected him. His mind probably had so much stuff in it from two possessions, his Rogue half, and just his stern will that it was tough to get anything past it nowadays.

Faith leaned over with a sigh and touched her sister Slayer's shoulder, saying, "C'mon. We'll take you home."

Buffy nodded numbly and let them pull her to her feet, slowly walking her across town towards her home. And every moment of the way she was saying to herself '_Not real. My sister isn't __**real**__.'_

---

The roar of a motorcycle woke Giles from a nightmare about his Slayer. He sat up in bed and frowned towards the window, waiting for the sound of it to fade away.

The sound did…but it never drove away. It had stopped right in front of his home.

Could it be?

Could it be them come back?

Stumbling out of bed, he wrapped a robe around himself and went down the stairs so fast he nearly stumbled. When he reached the bottom one, his front door opened and he saw two black figures silhouetted against the moonlight.

"Shit, we woke him," said one in a female voice he knew.

The other chuckled and stepped forward so his face was partially lit by the dim light of the lamp left on. Xander smiled at the Watcher and said, "Hey, G-man."

Giles stared at them for a moment then began laughing, shaking his head wildly. When he was done, he strode towards Xander and grasped his shoulders, giving him a little shake.

"I can not tell you how much I've missed that moniker of yours," he said warmly. "Welcome back."

Xander chuckled and said, "It got hard to use it for a while there. I never told you all but I had a tough time sometimes with Darien's memories and mine. They'd get confused and I could just hang on to mine enough to get names right."

At Giles' disturbed look, Faith stepped up beside the vampire and said, "But he's got that under control now. Plus…"

As her voice trailed off, Xander's eyes flooded blood red for a moment before he blinked it back.

"I have the Rogue under control for the most part."

"Thank God," breathed Giles. He smiled at the pair of them and said, "Dawn will be delighted to see the both of you back."

Faith froze at that and Xander sighed, shaking his head. The Slayer then said, "Giles…we have something to tell you."

The Watcher blinked at that and asked, "About what?"

"About Dawn," replied Xander as Faith moved to close the door. He took the man by the arm and steered him towards the couch, carefully making him sit then sinking down next to him. "There's something we need to tell you about her. And me."

"Dear Lord," breathed Giles and the vampire smiled grimly before beginning to speak.


	18. Of Demons and Tragedies Beginnings

**Chapter 18**

"Okay," snarled Xander as he entered the dorm room. He'd been coming to ask Willow if she wanted to hang out for a few hours and here he stumbled onto a family conversation. Tara looked stricken at his arrival and her father just glared down his nose at him. "You shut up now."

"You have no right to speak to me like that," snarled Tara's father. He reached out and grasped his daughter's arm harshly. "We are taking her with us."

"No, you're not."

The man scoffed.

"She's evil, boy. You don't want her and hers around you."

"Evil?" said the vampire with a sneer. He looked sideways at Tara then fixed her father with a cold glare. "I have known her for two days and I know she's not evil. In these two days, I have discovered that she is the most kind and loving person I know next to a woman I would gladly consider my mother."

He then smiled ferally.

"And don't lecture me on evil, old man. I know more about it than you could ever dream of."

"We are taking her _with us_," growled Tara's father.

Xander sighed and said, "You don't understand, do you?"

His motions blurred then and the man screamed as his wrist snapped under the simple squeeze of the young man's hand. Tara jumped back and Xander gently took her hand, guiding her back behind him as he glared at her father. The man stared at him for a moment, unable to comprehend how his wrist was broken and how he hadn't even seen the younger man's arm move.

"Demon," he hissed.

"Nothing so simple," replied Xander with a smirk. "Now why don't you take yourself and yours and go home?"

"She's mine."

The vampire bared his teeth and showed his fangs, making the man jump back with a yelp. "Not anymore," he growled.

Tara's father stared at him then ran for his life, clutching his wrist to his chest as he went. The shy witch stared after him then looked at Xander, asking, "Wh-why? Why'd you do that?"

"You're good people, Tara," he replied, turning his head to smile at her. "I caught that from the moment I saw you. Its in your eyes."

He turned to face her then and added, "And my Wills loves you. That's all I need right there to defend you. Besides…" He sniffed and growled softly as he remembered what he'd slipped in and pulled from her father's mind. The need to know the reason behind him claiming his daughter as evil was just too much not to. And in his opinion the man didn't deserve the privacy. "…the demon thing they told you? Just something to keep the women in line."

"How'd…"

"Nevermind how I found out. That's what it was. Heh, I didn't even have to know that either." He smiled again and said, "I can sense demons. And you're not a shred of one."

Tara smiled, tears glimmering at the corners of her eyes, and breathed, "Thank you. I-I don't know…"

"Tara."

She blinked and stared at him.

Xander shook his head and reached out to gently pat her shoulder.

"You don't have to thank me for anything. You just keep Wills happy and that's all the thanks I'll ever need. 'Kay?"

Tara nodded at that and said, "Okay."

---

"You're…um…okay with this? Y'know?"

"Yes, Wills," said Xander again as they left the theatre. He wound an arm around his friend's shoulders and tugged her close so he could flick his fingers over her nose. "I'm fine with it. Maybe before everything I wouldn't have been but being possessed by Darien has its upsides."

"Upsides?" queried Willow.

He nodded solemnly.

"Yeah. In his Line, it wasn't unusual to see female vampires with female fledglings as lovers."

"Oh…"

Xander chuckled and said, "Yeah 'oh'. Now, c'mon, let's…"

He was cut off as Willow's cell phone rang and waited patiently for her to answer it.

"Hi, Buffy! What's…oh. Oh, no. Buffy, I…"

She trailed off and just nodded at the words coming from the other end of the line. "Okay. Okay, I'll look into it. But, Buffy, I don't know if…"

There was a burst of static and the witch pulled the cell phone away from her ear, blinking at it. Then she looked up at Xander in confusion and said, "She hung up on me."

"Happens when you're distressed," he said, glancing around. "Damn. That sucks."

"You heard?"

"Not deliberately. In this short distance I can't really help it."

Willow nodded then asked, "Can you take me back to the Magic Box?"

"Sure. Can you still piggyback ride?"

She blinked, wondering why he was asking about something they hadn't done since they were twelve and she'd been the lightest thing in the world. He and Jessie had taken turns carrying her piggyback around her backyard, all of them laughing and collapsing into the grass after they were exhausted.

"Yes," she replied nervously. "But…"

"C'mon," said Xander, holding out his hand. "You can't hurt me."

She stared then nodded and nervously climbed onto his back, her arms wound about his neck and his curled tight about her legs. Then she gasped as he burst forward into a run, moving faster than her brain could comprehend at first. Arms tightening about his neck, she buried her face against her friend's neck and wanted to cry.

He was so changed from the person she'd known.

But he was the same too.

She and Buffy had heard from Giles what their dearest friend might have become – might _still_ become despite his control. And it scared them both.

Yet they both knew that if it happened, if he lost it, all of them would be the friends that they should be and bring him down before he could hurt anyone. Because that would be the one thing her Xander would never want – to hurt people, most especially those he loved.


	19. Harsh Realizations

**Chapter 19**

"Its dead," proclaimed Xander in a cold voice as he came back into the Magic Box from hunting Sobek. Dark ichor coated the right side of his face and the gleam of crimson in that eye was brighter than usual. "And I found her."

"Glory?" said Giles, looking concerned. "Xander, you didn't…"

"I didn't go after her, much as I wanted to, Giles. If anything, I know my current limits and she's way beyond them. I can duke it out with her…but I can't beat her."

That fact seemed to sting the vampire and the older man – who was the only one left in the shop – walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. Dark eyes looked at him and he said, "We'll work together to beat her, son."

"I know but…" Xander's hands clenched into fists and his eyes flashed crimson for a moment, the green flecks amongst the hazel becoming brighter as well for a moment. "She is threatening my family. _No one_ threatens my family."

He then looked around, noticing the empty place, and asked, "Where is everyone?"

"They went to the hospital to visit Joyce then were planning to take Buffy and Dawn home." Giles shook his head and added, "It is still hard to believe that she wasn't here a matter of months ago. How are you adapting to that?"

Xander shrugged and replied, "Its not that hard. Faith remembers everything and she's given me the run-down on that. On anything else I improvise – Darien got pretty good at acting over the years what with his actually living in the world and not above it like most vampires."

"Even on the most secret of things?"

"I won't dip into her head, G-man. That's a violation of the worst sort and I've only done it a few times. To her – to a _child_ – I could never do such a thing."

Giles nodded then frowned, moving to take a seat at the table piled with research books. Xander followed him and asked, "What's on your mind? I can feel a question brimming."

"Your power?"

"Intuition and years of knowing you," corrected the vampire with a smile. He then pulled a chair out and turned it around, sitting on it with his arms folded across the back. "What's the what?"

Giles took off his glasses then and wiped them off and the younger of the pair knew he was in for one of the big Talks.

As the glasses went back on, the question got fired off.

"What is going on between you and Faith?"

"How do you mean?" asked Xander although he knew just what he meant and Giles knew it. When the man just stared at him, he sighed and breathed, "Nothing's going on Giles. And nothing ever _will_ if I have anything to say about it. We…we do love enough other but I'm never going to let anything come of that – not with me being what I am."

He bowed his head and finished, "She'll live a good life – a _mortal_ life - because I don't want to curse anyone else to this life. It's better than our vampires but…its still a life where I stay the same and everyone else passes me by. I don't want to lose her, Giles. But I don't want to make her suffer with me either."

"Son."

Xander looked up and Giles leaned forward, placing a hand on either of his shoulders.

"I would rather you be happy with her forever than miserable alone."

"Giles…I can't do it. I swore I wouldn't."

"I known," said the Watcher sadly. "But…you should at least consider your own happiness."

The vampire shook his head in response and said, "I'll be happy with all of you alive and well for as long as you can be."

Giles smiled and clasped the young man's shoulder warmly, nodding absently.

"You're a good man, Xander."

"But I should take care of myself too, right?"

"Correct."

Xander shrugged at that, saying, "Like I said, you all being happy'll keep me going. After that…well, after that I guess I'll just have to figure out where to go. Hell, maybe I'll even have a few mini-Buffy's and Faith's to keep me busy."

The Watcher smiled at the thought and decided a change of subject was needed now. "Well, how about you regale me with a few more of those stories of yours over some tea?"

"Sure, G-man," replied the vampire.

---

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

"Xander!" screamed Buffy as the vampire roared into the Magic Box and violently shoved Riley up against a wall. "What are you…"

The violent red gaze jerked towards her and he snarled, "Your boytoy has been stupid." He turned back to Riley, who had paled, and finished, "He didn't completely clean up from his little whore-house visit."

"Whore…house…" breathed the blonde. "Riley, what's he talking about?"

"Nothing, Buffy. He's crazy!"

Xander's hands tightened where he gripped the commando's coat and he snarled, "Crazy, am I? I can _smell_ the vampire bitch on you. Do you think I'm stupid enough not to know about that filthy trade?"

"Then why don't you stop it?" spat Riley venomously.

"Because there are always new vampires to exploit it and people like you who get their kicks from being drank from!"

Buffy covered a muffled cry with her hand then fled to the training room at the back of the shop. Willow followed after a moment, her eyes filled with venom, and Faith glanced at Xander once before she followed.

With a snarl, he flung him towards the door, not caring when he heard bones break. Riley scrambled to get up when Xander was suddenly above him and the look in his crimson eyes was something that made his insides squirm.

"You worthless wretch," growled the vampire. "Why? _Why?_"

"Because Buffy doesn't love me!"

"_Bullshit!_ What, you're pissed that she hasn't been spending time with you? Her _mother_ was diagnosed with _cancer_, you asshole."

Riley glared then winced as Xander lunged down at him, one hand wrapping around his neck and snarled in his face.

"I thought that she was happy with you when I came back to town," he hissed. "That you were _worthy_ of being with her. But now I see that you're only a selfish, pathetic wretch of a man. Be glad I was possessed by Darien – any other vampire from that world would kill you for that transgression."

"Thanks," sneered the commando. "Really."

He then choked as Xander's hand tightened about his throat. Helplessly he looked towards Giles but saw the man staring back at him with the same contempt as he saw in the vampire's eyes. Thinking he would get help from that factor was silly…the shop owner was the father figure to all of them.

Xander growled and said, "Get out of Sunnydale. And if I ever sense you coming near us again before you apologize to Buffy – and she forgives you enough to suitably sate me – I will hunt you down like the dog you are and break you. Then I'll leave you to wait for the rest of the filth to find."

He then picked Riley up and flung open the Magic Box door. "Now get out," he snarled before throwing him out into the middle of the empty street. Slamming the door shut, he turned back towards Giles and stared at him for a moment. Then he collapsed against the door and snarled, before saying, "Alright, give it to me. Tell me I'm a idiot."

"I'm not going to. What Riley did…it was something of the worst sort – I've seen many fall prey to those houses." Giles took off his glasses as he finished, "Though the method through which you approached it could have been better."

Xander snorted and said, "Probably. But I can't bring myself to care except in how revealing it hurt Buffy. Which…"

He pushed away from the door and made a beeline for the back room, peering in curiously first to see where they were. Then he entered quietly and walked over to where Buffy sat on the couch that had been dragged into the room, from where Dawn usually sprawled and watched the sparring between the two Slayer's. Willow and Faith were on either side of her and they looked up at his approach. Buffy twitched and he realized that she might not be entirely over her kill-vampire-Xander instincts like he'd thought.

Slowly he knelt down in front of her and took her hands, staring at them instead of her. Then he said gently, "I shouldn't have gone about that like I did."

Her fingers tightened against his and she breathed, "No."

"I'm sorry, Buff."

"I know. Thank you, Xander."

He looked up in surprise and asked, "For what?"

Buffy smiled through the sheen of tears in her eyes and replied, "For caring enough to tell me, even if you did do it in a horrible way."

"I protect my girls, you know that."

_Even if I have to hurt them in the process_, he thought as more tears fell from her eyes and he hugged her tightly. And hope he would never have to hurt her so much ever again.


	20. What is the Truth?

**Chapter 20**

"You people again?" sneered Xander as he entered the Magic Box from the upstairs part to find members of the Watcher's Council there. "I thought you were butting out of things on the Hellmouth?"

"How did you get in here?!" exclaimed Quentin Travers, his voice trembling. He remembered what had happened the last time he'd tangled with the young man glowering down at him. And their information had told them that he was no longer the semi-vampire he'd been then.

He was a full-fledged vampire of his kind and far scarier than even one of the eldest of those the Slayer fought.

Xander then looked at Giles and asked, "Why are they here?"

"How did _you_ get in?" snapped one of Travers entourage. "That's a better question, I think."

"Through the window." Every gaze was drawn to the window to the vampire's left, which was barely big enough for a medium sized bird to get in, let alone a person.

Giles chuckled at their confusion then replied coldly, "They have some information about Glory."

"Oh. Do share."

Travers frowned and said, "Not until we are certain the Slayer can handle this information appropriately."

Xander arched an eyebrow then blurred, suddenly appearing in front of the man, crouching on the table right in front of him.

"First off," he growled, "its _Slayers_. Second, they're both worth double of whatever you want them to prove. Triple, maybe even. Now…share the information you've got. Or I'll regale you with all the stories of what my possessor did to people that pissed him off in the 1700s. I promise you'll think Angelus and his get were angels after you hear about all of it."

He smiled, showing fangs, then added, "Oh, and you'll be reinstating Giles there as a full Watcher and you'll actually help us instead of sitting on your fat asses. We don't want your manpower though. Just your information."

Travers shuddered then said, "Very well then," as Buffy and Faith forced the Magic Box door open. Without looking up, Xander knew that they'd heard most of the conversation. He would sense the anger rising off of both of them and it vibrated against his senses like a wildfire, quite able to blaze his own anger to devastating heights if he didn't control it.

"First thing you answer is what sort of demon Glory is," said Buffy, crossing her arms.

"Demon?" repeated Travers. "She's not a demon. She's a god."

Buffy paled and Faith grabbed her sister Slayer's shoulder tightly. And all anger vanished from Xander's mind with the feeling of dread that settled into his stomach.

"Shit," he stated eloquently into the stunned silence.

---

"DAWN!" roared Xander as he caught her presence within the hospital. Right next to Glory.

He didn't think after that – his mind went into a panic. Tearing through a door quite literally, he blurred through the hospital, rushing down the halls towards her location. As he got close, his form flickered and suddenly a huge panther was there, eyes blazing crimson as it snarled.

When he burst through the door to where she was, he ended up smashing Glory momentarily to the floor with the door. Dawn screamed at the sight of him then ran forward as he screamed mentally, _Dawn, RUN!_

She burst past him out the door and he had a moment to look after her before he and the door were flung away as Glory pushed herself upright. Growling darkly, he bounced off the wall and landed neatly on the floor again to face the god as she made it back to her feet.

After a moment she looked at him venomously and screamed, "You ripped my dress!"

Then she was lunging at him and he snarled, swinging a paw at her face as she rushed at him. The strike hit and raked long furrows across her face but her hand also hit. It sunk up to her wrist in his chest and he yowled in pain, orange bleeding into his red-stained eyes.

"Bad kitty!" she sneered and tried to dig her hand further into his chest with a sadistic smile. He snarled and flickered back to normal, grabbing her arm with both of his and halting her progress.

Glory smiled and said, "I only want your heart!"

"That already belongs to someone else," snarled Xander. He then shoved at her arm with all of his strength and managed to pull it out of his chest as well as fling her across the room. She thumped against the wall then landed half-upright, straightening…and idly licking his blood from her fingers.

"Mmm, tasty. Makes me want more."

He stared at her, aching even as the wound started to heal over. What had her intaking his blood just done? She was a god already…he could only hope his blood did nothing to her.

Because with his type of vampire, just drinking a sip of one's blood could affect a mortal.

"Sorry," he quipped through the pain, "the bar's closed until further notice."

"Pity," said Glory. She then screamed angrily and lunged at him again, the hand stained with his blood heading for the still open hole in his chest. He ducked and slid to the right, slamming his elbow into the side of her face as she came near.

Then he made like Monty Python and ran the hell away.

Outside he caught up with Dawn in the bushes, who was crying and nearly hyperventilating. He swept her up in his arms without missing a beat and blurred into motion the moment she was secure, sensing Glory coming out right behind him.

As he ran away, the god screamed, "I'm going to kill you all! Just you wait!"

Xander ran until he felt they were safe and that wasn't until they were on the roof of one of the buildings in downtown Sunnydale, out of sight from anyone from the street. He carefully set Dawn down and checked over her worriedly then said, "Dawn? Dawn, are you okay?"

She shivered and breathed, "I'm not real."

"Oh, Dawn…"

The teenager shuddered and he wrapped her in a hug, not caring that doing so made his chest hurt and probably got blood on her shirt. She needed it.

"Dawn," he whispered, "you are as real as anyone else. How you came into being doesn't matter. You're _real_ to us and that makes you real to everyone."

"But…"

"No buts!" he hissed. "You. Are. Real. Look, you are here in my arms. Not some flimsy wisp blown on the wind, all untouchable. You are _here._"

Dawn sniffed and breathed, "Xander…"

His arms tightened around her and he said, "I'm here, Dawnie. I've got you. _I've got you._"

Her whole body shuddered and then she folded, her knees buckling underneath her as sobs ripped their way out of her throat. But Xander held her up, clutching her tight and rocking her gently, whispering words of comfort – though he wouldn't realize until later that he'd been speaking Gaelic. He held her and rocked her until the sobs faded and she slowly straightened, gently pulling away from him. His grip on her loosened but his arms never once stopped encircling her.

When she looked at him with her red-hazed eyes, he wanted to go after Glory right then, even if he knew he couldn't beat her. Even though he had no memories of Dawn himself, Faith did. And Faith loved this girl like she was her own baby sister.

She was Buffy's sister in his mind, her real origins be damned.

And that made her one of his girls.

Glory was going to pay for coming after one his girls. And he was going to make sure she did, even if he had to throw himself entirely into his Rogue side and lose it all.

He would damn himself to kill a god and save his family if need be.


	21. The End of an Era

**Chapter 21**

"Excuse me." Xander smiled apologetically at the teacher at the front of the room and said, "I'm here to pick up Dawn."

"Miss Summers? The office didn't…"

"This isn't the sort of thing you want to get called up to the office for," he said in a low voice, meeting the woman's eyes. She blinked at him then made a small gasping noise, nodding slightly.

"Oh. Miss Summers…"

Dawn was already up at the front of the room with her things, staring at Xander with a questioning look on her face. The vampire winced and gently took her arm, leading her from the room. Outside she tried to jerk away from him and hissed, "What's going on?"

"Dawnie…"

"Xander…you're scaring me."

He sighed and breathed, "God, Dawnie. Your mom…"

"Mom? What happened to Mom? What…oh God."

Her fingers grasped at his shirt and he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close as she started to hyperventilate. As the tears came and she started to sob into his chest, he bowed his head into her hair and breathed, "Dawnie, I'm so sorry."

"She…she…"

Dawn broke down completely then and Xander lifted her up, cuddling her close to his chest as he left the school. A few teachers came out of their rooms, students huddled behind them in curiosity, and seemed to think about asking him what was going on. When they saw his face, which was grim with his jaw clenched tight, they immediately shrank back.

And like that he left, running the moment he stepped out of the doors of the school and gone in a blur of motion.

---

The days passed in a blur after the funeral.

And with every passing moment, Xander wanted nothing more than to hunt down Glory and kill her for everything she'd done.

Most particularly after she turned Tara into a near vegetable. And Spike…after the incident with the BuffyBot he was even less inclined to liking the vampire than he'd been before. Having the two of them in a room together had gotten tough as Xander tensed and growled darkly whilst the chipped vampire shrank back into a corner.

He was really pissed from having Dawn been discovered and running from both Glory and the Knights.

And now he was nearly ready to give over and start mindlessly slaughtering anything in his path as Buffy was now catatonic, Dawn was kidnapped, and discovering that the doctor Ben was Glory.

"The only way to stop this is to stop Dawn's blood from flowing," said Giles from behind him. "And the only way to do that is to kill her."

"No," growled Xander from his spot by the door. He closed his eyes tightly and gripped the doorframe, the wood creaking from his hard grasp. "We won't kill her. There has to be some other way."

"This is the only way I can find."

"Well we have to find something else!" The vampire spun around and bellowed, "I will personally kill the first person that thinks of touching her!" Blood red flooded his eyes for half a second and he snarled, dropping his head into his hands instantly. "No, damnit!"

Giles rose to his feet immediately and looked at Faith, who was slowly making her way towards him.

"Faith…"

"Shh," bid the Slayer. She then gently touched Xander's shoulder, sliding her arm all the way around and said, "We'll figure something out, Xan. Now stay with me, okay? This is no time for us to be losing our heads."

"Yeah," he breathed harshly after a moment. Looking up, he smiled and apologized, "Sorry, Giles. I…I don't remember Dawn at all but all of you do and that makes her special. That makes her one of my girls."

The Watcher nodded and said, "And no one harms one of them."

"_No one_," growled the vampire. He then jerked and stared as Buffy and Willow suddenly came in through the front door. "Buffy!"

"You okay, B?" asked Faith, eying her sister Slayer worriedly.

"I'll be fine when we get Dawn back," replied the blonde. She then looked at Xander and said, "I want you to do something for me."

"Anything," he replied, straightening.

"Kill Ben."

"Buffy, no…" started Giles but was cut off when Xander smirked, his fangs showing.

"Done."

"Xander, please, let me…"

The vampire shook his head and said, "No, G-man. I'm going to do this whether you like it or not."

Giles frowned and said, "I have killed people before, Xander."

Green and hazel eyes tinged with blood red stared hard at the Watcher and he growled, "So have I." He didn't bother to explain that any further, despite the shocked expressions from around him, just looked at Buffy and said, "We don't have much time."

"I know," she replied, not even looking surprised by his words. "Let's go."

---

"Please," breathed Ben, "kill me. Kill me before she comes back."

Xander snarled animally at that and jerked the former doctor upright, hissing, "Why shouldn't I just torture you…no, no, that's not the way to do things." He shook his head and some of the redness disappeared from his eyes, the madness in them fading. "Mercy is what you want."

Ben nodded. "Mercy."

The vampire nodded and slowly lowered him to the ground. As he did so, the doctor gasped, "She's coming."

Xander placed a hand on his head and whispered, "No, she's not."

The doctor's neck broke with a crack and his body slumped over to the side as the vampire rose to his feet. Giles turned to look at him for a moment then saw something out of the corner of his eyes, whirling back around.

"Lord…_Buffy, no!_"

Xander spun around just in time to watch the blonde launch herself at the opened portal, the red fading from his eyes entirely to be replaced by the white blue of fear.

"BUFFY!"

He launched himself forward, moving faster than he ever had before in the hopes that he could catch her. That he could stop her. That he could…

…could…

…he did nothing.

Her body landed in his arms and he gripped her close but there was nothing there. She was limp and her eyes stared at him blankly, no soul behind them.

She was gone.

Shaking, he gently laid her down, moving back as a sobbing Willow came close. He moved as far away as he could and sat down with his back towards them, shuddering.

When Faith sank down next to him, he leaned his head against her shoulder and breathed, "She's gone."

His friend, his dark Amazon woman that he loved so much but could never have, turned and pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly to her. "I know," she whispered, feeling the loss in her soul.

He grimaced, a sob choking in his throat, then pulled away from her slowly. Her hands slid away from him and he cast one thankful, sorrowful look at her before he blurred and was gone.

Every creature of the dark that night cringed and tried to hide as something the survivors could only describe later as a blur of crimson eyes and blades swept through their ranks. It was a massacre unlike any other and the news of it sent many running from Sunnydale and kept many more from ever coming to the town.

And every human in the town stayed in their homes as they cringed in terror at the screams of pain that raged through the town. The half-human, half-animal scream of sorrow and anger that accompanied the dying shrieks of the creatures made many realize what their town really was and made more that had known but ignored it truly accept it.

Xander, in one fel swoop, had effectively lessened the demonic activity in town and had caused people to open their eyes.

Though all he cared about then was that one of his girls, one of the people he cared about most in the world, was gone.

And there had been nothing he could do for every power and skill he had attained over the years.

She was gone.


	22. We All Fall Down

**Chapter 22**

"This is a nightmare," breathed Dawn, burying her face into Xander's shoulder. He nodded and folded his arms around her, glaring over her head at the social worker that was determined to take her away. Swallowing the urge to growl, he murmured, "I'm not going to let this happen, Dawnie. I swear."

The woman sniffed and said, "I'm afraid that's not possible, Mister Harris. Miss Summers is going to have to be put into foster care as she has no other family to speak of."

"We _are_ her family," snarled the vampire. He then closed his eyes, controlling his anger, and said in as calm a voice as he could, "Please. Please, for Dawn's sake, don't take her away from the only family she still has."

"I'm only doing my job, Mister Harris. If you want custody of her, you'll have to apply for it."

"And hope to get it?" he hissed, arching an eyebrow.

The woman just nodded and spread her hands, palms up. "I'm afraid that's the way things go."

Now Xander did actually growl and Dawn wrapped her arms around him tighter, closing her eyes to try and stop the tears from flowing.

"Xander…"

"I'm not going to let anyone take you, Dawnie," he hissed in her ear. "I swear I won't."

She shuddered then gasped, "I know."

He slowly peeled her grasp away from him and looked up at her from where he sat on the couch and she was standing with her head bowed. Gently he wiped away what tears had trailed down her cheeks then looked at the woman again. Sighing, he asked, "What do we have to do?"

The woman pursed her lips then replied, "I'll call you with the proper information and methods."

Xander frowned at that.

"I guess that'll have to do." He then rose and hugged Dawn briefly before holding her at arms length, asking, "Do you trust me?"

The teenager looked up at him and nodded, tears building up in her eyes again. She fumbled for his hands and gripped them tightly, not wanting to let go.

Her memories remembered him as a big brother even though they weren't true and he didn't remember any such things. But he was her big brother despite that and she knew he would protect her.

"I trust you," she gasped in a choked voice.

He nodded and leaned forward to kiss her forehead gently then she pulled away from him and followed the woman out of her home. At the door, she looked back and saw Xander turned with his back towards them, muscles twitching and his hands twisted into claws.

And she knew that this situation was killing him as much as it was killing her.

---

Xander was shuffling through the papers the social worker had come back and given him when a disheveled Willow charged into the Magic Box with Tara skittering in behind her. He looked up curiously at the entrance and asked, "Where's the fire, Wills?"

Willow gasped for breath then beamed at him as Giles leaned down from the upstairs with a curious expression.

"I can bring Buffy back!"

There was a stunned silence for a moment then Giles roared, "_Absolutely not!_"

"But…Giles," gasped Willow, her face gone pale. Tara tried to grab her shoulder but the redhead shrugged her girlfriend's grasp off and continued, "We _need_ her."

"_Need?_" hissed a low, harsh voice before Giles could say anything else. All eyes turned to look at Xander, who had both hands pressed flat to the table with the papers he had been looking through forgotten. A low growl rumbled through his chest, reverberating even louder as he rose slowly to his feet. When he lifted his head to finally look at them, his eyes were crimson and his fangs dug violently into his lower lip. He bared his teeth in a snarl and stepped around the table, his expression as feral and furious as it could be.

"Need?" he repeated. "We _need_ to bring her back?"

He slowly walked forward until he was nose to nose with his best friend and she found herself unable to move, frozen by that intense feral gaze.

"You want to rip her out of the afterlife and force her back into a body that has been dead for weeks now?" he snarled. "No. No, I will not allow it. Not while I live will I allow it!"

Willow opened her mouth to say something but Giles softly intoned, "Willow…there are far too many ways that this could fail. And Buffy would return as something not herself."

"But…"

"_No_," snarled Xander, his fingers twitching into claws. He reached out with one of those clawed hands then and caught her chin, crimson eyes narrowed.

"We already have one abomination to life on our side," he hissed, obviously referring to himself. "We do not need the possibility of another. And, God help me, if you try this anyway…I won't be responsible for what I'll do."

"Xander," breathed Willow, her voice shaking. "I…"

"_Leave the dead to death!_"

His roar shook her to the core and she stared at him in horror as he continued in a growl, "Dwelling on what is gone does none of us a wit of good."

Abruptly he released her and spun away, his shoulders heaving as he was suddenly caught up in his emotions. He tilted his head back after a moment and snarled wordlessly before he spoke again.

"I won't have this repeat," he breathed in a so low a voice they almost didn't hear him.

Willow and Tara were confused by his words.

But Giles…he knew just what Xander was referring to. It had come up in conversation once that he compared Buffy and Faith to the two women that had been in Darien's life. And Buffy was the former, who had been thought dead but had ended up coming back as a vampire and wrecking out a vengeance she thought she had deserved.

The witch, shaken by all this, reached out to touch her friend's shoulder. He jerked away with a rattling hiss and she breathed, "I won't do it. You…you're right." She bowed her head solemnly and Tara wrapped her arms around her girlfriend tightly in response. "We should leave the dead to death."

Xander nodded numbly before stating, "I'm going out. Tell Faith that patrol won't be needed tonight."

Giles frowned after the vampire, knowing exactly what he'd meant and not liking it one bit. He wasn't very fond of the brooding, desolate creature his surrogate son had become since Buffy's death and Dawn's taking into foster care. It also worried him how much time he was spending haunting the graveyards and secluded places of the town now, mauling anything demonic that threatened him without pause.

Slowly he walked over to the table and picked up the abandoned papers, adjusting his glasses as he started to look over them. The sniffling Willow he ignored – she would have to work hard to get back into his good graces after her foolish suggestion.

And he sensed she would have to work even harder to make it back into those of her best friend.

Her idea had shattered something between them. She couldn't tell what, however, and Xander was too preoccupied to fix it.

Walking back behind the counter, the Watcher settled on his stool and picked up a pen. The least he could do would be to fill out these forms for the vampire who was even now probably striking more fear in to the hearts of the demonic community.

He could only hope getting Dawn back would settle his son's mood and bring back some semblance of normality to their little world.


	23. The Monster Beneath

**Chapter 23**

"Xander?"

The vampire stiffened at the voice behind him but didn't move from his perch. He simply sat with a stone stillness as Willow gingerly climbed out onto the roof of the Summers home to sit by him.

They were lucky that Joyce's will had determined her property to go to Buffy in case of her death with the acknowledgement that it would be Dawn's if that was not possible. And Giles had been given the responsibility of the property (with his agreement) until said girl came of age.

Mamma Summers had known just what she was doing when she made that will out, putting her youngest in the hands of a man she trusted if her Slayer daughter died.

It was just horrible that what she had feared and prepared for had actually come to pass.

Xander and Faith had moved in around the same time Giles had – he had declared that if he was going to take care of the home, he should live in it. Willow and Tara were also now occupying one of the rooms – Buffy's. Xander had insisted on the guest room being his and Faith take Buffy's even though it was a better room.

It hadn't needed to be said why. They all knew he had heightened senses and Buffy's room still smelled of her too much for him to take.

When her scent in the house itself overwhelmed him, he escaped to the roof like he was now. Where Willow found him.

She gingerly climbed out of the window and sat on the roof next to him, a good foot between them. After a moment of fiddling with a ring on one of her fingers, she closed her eyes and pleaded, "Forgive me?"

There was a stiff silence in response and Xander's shoulders stiffened with it. She sniffed when it seemed he wasn't going to respond and started to move to go back inside.

That was when he spoke.

"She was the first girl I ever had a real crush on."

His words were soft but she heard them. Just as she heard each fragment of pain and torment that burned within them.

Slowly she sank back down onto the roof and waited for him to continue.

Xander closed his eyes and said, "I know she never returned the feelings like I wanted but…I can't help but compare her to Kay. To Darien's first love."

"He lost her. He lost her when he lost his soul, his memories, and all that he was when he was turned. And when he remembered…it nearly broke him."

The vampire buried his head in his hands as he continued, "When she reappeared, a vampire turned by his Bloodbrother, he was so happy. Then he found out she wanted nothing more than vengeance – she wanted him dead, seeing him as the reason she had become what she was. And he…he had to kill her. He had to fight her despite his heart screaming that it was wrong and he had to kill her before she killed the other woman he loved."

His shoulders shook and he hissed out a ragged breath even though he had no need to. Slowly he turned to look at her, his eyes stained orange and filled with pain.

"I know that wouldn't have happened here. The situation is so different. But…I can't stand it. I cannot bear the thought of her being gone then coming back. Fear that something would go wrong or she would be different eats at me and I…I…"

Xander choked on his words for a moment then gasped, "I have nightmares of her coming back and having to kill her. Every time I have the chance, my hand pauses…and then you're all gone, killed by her. And all I can do is chase her and try, time and time again, to kill her and I can't. _I can't._ And she smiles at me with a vampire's face and pats my cheek before darting off again."

Willow just stared at him for a moment then breathed, "Oh, Xander…"

He sighed at that and she said, "You're afraid that you couldn't kill her if she came back wrong."

"No," he stated solemnly. She stared quizzically at him at this and he closed his orange-stained eyes in obvious pain. "Its only in the nightmare that I can't kill her. In truth…if she came back wrong…I would be upon her before she could draw a second breath of new air and she would be gone again. I'd protect you all, even if I had to protect you from her."

"Then…"

"Why?"

Willow nodded and he smiled without humor, opening his eyes to look at her again.

"Because," he said slowly, "bringing her back would disrupt the balance. Yes, she died unfairly. But she _chose_ to take that death in place of Dawn. Who are we to try and take back the choice she made?"

The witch could see his reasoning now – a reasoning she would have seen as well if she hadn't been so blinded by the want to have her friend back. Now she saw that bringing Buffy back would only do as Xander said, it would disrupt the balance of things. And she also remembered something he had said days ago in the Magic Box.

"You…you said we already had one abomination to life," she murmured."

"I am, aren't I?" he asked, his voice bitter. Slowly he touched one hand to his chest as he added, "My heart no longer beats yet I still live. That is a stern abomination to life. I survive from blood, from the life that keeps everything around me moving. Breathing is an exercise I only do to pass as some semblance of human at work. Is that not an abomination?"

Xander held both hands in front of him then, staring at them as though he could see something she couldn't.

"And there is blood on my hands. Vampire, demon, my double's, so many more."

He bowed his head as she gasped, realizing with horror what the 'so many more' was. Remembering what else he'd said in the Magic Box when Buffy had asked him to kill Ben.

"I'm a _monster_."

Willow stared, one hand clasped over her mouth, then breathed in shock, "You…you've killed…"

"Humans? Yes."

The cool calm in which he stated that unnerved her. Smiling humorously he continued, "While Faith and I were gone, I beat my Rogue into control. But…I lost the first few times. I killed. I killed without want or thought, drinking my fill from their bodies before the warmth faded and then killing more even when the hunger was sated. Every time Faith found me and brought me back."

"It happened more than once?!" screeched Willow, the beginnings of hysteria in her voice. She could not believe he was just now revealing this…this horror story.

Xander closed his eyes and breathed, "Four times. Almost a fifth but I fought it down before it could start killing again."

Tilting his head back, he continued, "Faith told me I wasn't a monster even when I insisted on it after every moment. I tried so hard to make her see it, to believe it. And she wouldn't. She still doesn't. But I know."

He clenched his fists and Willow felt her heart ache for him.

"I know I'm a monster."

"Xander…"

She reached out to touch his shoulder and he tensed, trying to draw in on himself. Scooting closer, she leaned against him and breathed, "I don't think you're a monster either."

"You're both blind fools then."

Willow winced at his bitter tone then blinked when he slid an arm around her waist. Turning towards her, he tried to smile but it became only a grimace underneath tired green-tinged hazel eyes.

"But I thank you for your blind faith in me," he whispered. "Because sometimes I can live in your illusion of me and not be a monster."

The witch's heart broke at her friend's words and her face screwed up as tears welled in her eyes. Had he always thought of himself this way? Did…did he always believe himself to be a monster?

Wrapping her arms around him tightly, she buried her face in Xander's shoulder and hissed, "You're not a monster. I wouldn't love a monster like a brother. So you're not a monster."

His arm tightened around her in reaction to that and she heard him hitch an unneeded breath. Something dripped onto her hand and then he breathed, "I wish I could believe that, Wills."

Her heart broke again and she closed her eyes tighter, not able to bear opening them.

If she had…she might have reasoned to him that monsters didn't cry. And he had just shed a tear, even if it was a tear made of blood.


	24. What Makes the Monster?

**Chapter 24**

Xander's hand shook as he picked up the pen, glancing nervously towards the teenager standing next to him. Dawn's eyes, bright and glistening from happy tears, stared right back at him and she smiled.

He had one moment's pause – one fleeting moment where he wondered if this was the right thing to do. If he should really be the one taking the responsibility to take care of Buffy's little sister.

Then he realized that he was the only one that could do that.

He was the only one that would always be there for her to turn to no matter what.

The tip of the pen pressed against the paper and he scrawled his name there then handed it back to the woman who gave it to him. She looked over it then placed it within a file and smiled at him.

"All set now."

"That's it?" breathed Dawn in awe. "We…we can go?"

"Yes, m'dear," said the woman, an elderly lady who reminded Xander a little bit of Joyce with her gentle smile. "You can go home now."

Dawn squealed in delight and leapt at Xander, who caught her as she flung her arms around his neck. She sobbed and laughed into his neck all at once and he hugged her as tightly as he dared. Warmth suffused him entirely as she whispered, "I can go home, I can go home…" over and over. It was because of _him_ that she could go home.

After a moment he set her back on her feet and she beamed at him. He ran a hand over her blotchy face, wiping away the tears, and said, "I told you I wasn't going to let them take you away."

She nodded and clutched at his hands, replying, "I trusted you."

The elderly woman smiled at them, watching as they turned and left together. It always made her smile to see a happy ending.

Outside Dawn looked up at Xander and said, "Xander…"

"Yeah, Dawnie?"

"Thank you."

He just smiled in response and hugged her tightly against his side for a moment before opening the passenger door to Giles' car for her. She smiled and sank down inside, her hands clasped over her mouth as she covered a sudden sob.

She was going home.

Xander flopped into the driver's seat and started the car, throwing the gears into drive. As they pulled away from the curb where he'd parked, he felt her hand sneak into his and grip it tight. He squeezed her hand back and smiled at her before turning his attention back to the road.

Any faltering feelings he had had about doing this were gone now. When Dawn had leapt at him and he'd sensed that joyful happiness in her…it made that one of the best moments in his life.

And now, sitting in Giles' car, driving her back home…

He remembered what he'd said to Willow a week ago.

"_I am a monster._"

He still believed that.

But with Dawn sitting next to him and clutching at his hand like a lifeline, he wanted so badly to believe in their illusion of him. He wanted to believe that he wasn't a monster.

But he couldn't.

---

That night, Xander was sitting on the front steps of the house, just listening to the sounds of the night and the sleepy noises of his family. As he sat, pondering the night sky, he smiled.

"I sensed you coming when you were three blocks away, Deadboy. Hiding doesn't help you any."

There was a rustle then Angel came out of the bushes, looking confused.

"How _do_ you do that?"

Xander just shrugged and replied, "Its one of the perks of being my type of vampire." He then sobered and said, "You're late."

"We're…we're having some trouble in L.A. This is the earliest that I could make it here."

"Trouble?"

"Nothing to worry about," said the ensouled vampire. "We got it under control right as I left town."

"Ah."

They fell into a tense silence for a moment then Angel said, "Town's gotten quiet of late. I made a stop at Willy's before I came here – place is nearly empty. Something scared them good."

"Yeah," said Xander. "Something did."

"Xander."

"Deadboy."

"It was you, wasn't it? I heard a demon raving about something that moved faster than he could see, nothing but a whirlwind of blades and crimson eyes as it killed his clan. You're the only one that could fit that."

Xander sighed and slumped back against the steps, leaning his head against the porch. He stared at the sky for a moment then began to speak.

"When Buffy died I went a bit crazy. I ran and I hunted and I killed…but it didn't make the pain go away. But I keep hunting…hoping. Hoping that with each kill it would stop."

He tilted his head back, looking at one of the upstairs windows solemnly. Angel followed his gaze and recognized the room as Dawn's.

"Now…I think things will start getting better."

"How is she?" asked the ensouled vampire softly.

Xander closed his eyes and replied, "As torn up as the rest of us. But she's strong. She'll survive."

Angel nodded and leaned against the porch railing, tilting his head back to look pensively up at the stars. Then he glanced at the other vampire and said, "I had a conversation with Giles before I came here. He said you told Willow that you were a monster."

Xander stiffened then opened his eyes, turning his head slowly to the side to regard the vampire calmly. Hazel eyes narrowed, the green flecks in them darkening to black, and he asked bitterly, "Am I not? You're the expert on killing, Deadboy. Doesn't massacring people just because you could make you a monster?"

That made the ensouled vampire start in shock.

"What…?"

"Faith and I left town so I could get control of my Rogue, my inner monster. It took control of me once or twice before I was strong enough to wrestle it down or Faith could bring me back. At least twenty people died every time it was unleashed – they blamed the killings in each city we were in at the time on a gang or a serial killer."

Xander sat up abruptly and wrapped his arms around his stomach, closing his eyes as if in pain.

"It's been over a year…but I can still remember so clearly what happened. It doesn't matter that it wasn't me that did the deed. Their blood is still on my hands. I can still feel it burning in my throat. What scares me…"

He opened his eyes again as he gasped, "What scares me is that some part of me enjoyed that slaughter. Doesn't that make me a monster?"

Angel just stared in silence for a moment then moved, sinking down onto the steps next to the young man. Because despite having some of the memories of a three centuries old vampire, he was still just that. And underneath that young man, the ensouled vampire realized that there was a boy frightened of himself and horrified by the things he had done.

"What makes a monster," pondered Angel. He looked up at the sky as Xander glanced at him, eyes flecked with a deep purple now. "I suppose I am the best to ask that question, aren't I?"

Slowly he turned to look at the other vampire…no, at the frightened young man.

"You are what chooses whether you are a monster or not, I suppose. I thought I was one once upon a time – that's why I spent years feeding on nothing but rats and hiding in dark alleyways. Then I saw Buffy for that first time…and I realized that I had a choice."

"What choice?" asked Xander softly.

Angel smiled and replied, "I had the choice to keep believing myself a monster or…I could try to prove that I wasn't. That there was still something good to be dragged out from under all of the blood I had spilled."

"Did it work?"

"I'm still a monster. We both are." Angel then added, "But we are both also good men. You especially, Xander."

"How can I still be a good man after all I've done?" asked Xander in a bitter voice. He bowed his head, hands clasped at the back of his neck, and hissed, "How can I not be a monster?"

These were the feelings and beliefs he had hidden behind walls for years. Buffy's death and the events afterward had shattered everything he had…and those walls had come crumbling down. And them crumbling had let everything he had bricked up behind them come flooding into his being again, more powerful than ever.

The ensouled vampire frowned thoughtfully and looked at the sky again.

"Answer me this…if you had had a choice between becoming what you are and staying human, which path would you have taken?"

"What?"

"If you had a choice between this life and a normal one, which would you choose? This one where you have the power to protect even if sometimes you can't…or another where all you have are wits to survive on and perhaps lose even more than now?"

Xander bit his lip at the question, contemplating it for a long moment. Then he closed his eyes and hissed, "This one."

"Why?" asked Angel softly.

"Because I want to protect them. I want to keep them safe. I want…I want to be able to stop the things that threaten them, not just get in the way."

The technically older vampire clasped the younger ones shoulder and Xander looked up with a start. Angel smiled gently and said, "That is what makes you a good man. And a good man, no matter how entrenched in the darkness, always overcomes the monster."

Xander stared at him for a moment then his expression turned thoughtful. After a moment he nodded and Angel removed his hand, leaving them sitting side by side in silence again.

After a moment, Xander spoke.

"Angel."

"Xander?" queried the vampire, slightly startled at being addressed by his actual name.

"Thanks."

Angel just nodded and looked up at the sky again, musing thoughtfully. He then said, "I should be getting back." As he rose to his feet, he looked down at Xander and added, "If you all ever need anything, I'm only a phone call away."

"Same here," said the other vampire, rising to his feet as well. He then chuckled, making Angel blink at him.

"What is it?"

"Just…after our last conversation, I didn't think we'd have a civil one again."

Xander then shocked Angel by thrusting a hand towards him. The stunned vampire took the offered hand as he murmured, "A truce?"

"Yeah. What you said just now…that was really what I needed to hear. From you."

"Why no one else?" asked the ensouled vampire as they let their hands fall back to their sides.

The younger vampire shrugged and replied, "Who else has killed as much as I have now?"

"Spike."

"I'd rather kill myself than have a friendly conversation with him."

"And here I thought I was the one you really hated."

Xander smiled stiffly at that.

"You didn't have to help me back then, Deadboy. If you'd wanted, you could have closed the door in our faces and ran and told Buffy what I was turning into. But you did help me and you didn't tell her. Not even when you turned into Angelus."

"Also," added Xander, "a truce because…because you're going to be one of the few people that won't die of old age on me. I think…I think I'm going to need a few friends to lean on when that starts happening."

Angel blinked then nodded, clasping the youth's shoulder again for a brief moment. He felt for him, he really did.

"I'll be here," he said softly before he turned and started to walk away. As he left, he heard Xander start up the stairs and turned to watch him as he crossed the porch and went back into the house. Angel then shook his head and continued on his way, wondering just what had happened there.

He had made peace with the boy he had disliked years ago who had turned into a proud young man who feared himself behind his brave façade. And he had maybe just helped him lessen that fear a little.

Hopefully wherever Buffy was, she was smiling at their little truce.

As Angel was engrossed in his thoughts as he left, Xander silently prowled through the house like a shadow. He checked in on each member of his family, lingering for a moment too long in Dawn's doorway watching the girl who he had adopted sleep. Then he made his way back towards his room and found Faith waiting for him.

She was sitting there on his bed, wide awake, and waiting for him. How long she'd been like that he didn't know.

Silently he pulled off his boots and set them aside before climbing under covers as if she wasn't there. He looked at her for a moment then asked, "How long were you listening to us?"

"Long enough," she replied, smiling at the fact that he knew she'd snuck downstairs to listen to them. "I'm surprised you didn't sense me."

"I was a bit caught up in the conversation."

"I noticed."

They fell silent for a moment then Faith touched his face gently. He looked at her and she breathed, "Believe him, Fangs. I can't stand to see you like this any more."

"I'm a monster," he breathed, laying his hand over hers on his cheek. Then he looked at her squarely and finished, "But I'm also a good man."

"You are more than good. You're the best man I know." Faith smiled and continued, "You're the man I love. Hell, my best damn friend in the whole world. The man I'd love to spend the rest of my life with if I could. You're…God, you're the one that saved me from myself. No monster would do that."

"And you saved a monster," whispered Xander. He leaned his forehead against hers and gasped, "I would be nothing without you."

They sat like that for a long moment, heads touching and his hand clasped over hers on his cheek. Then she closed her eyes and asked, "Why do you believe that's what you are?"

"I've hated vampires for a long time, Faith," he replied. "They took one of my best friends and made him a mockery of what he was. I hated them for that from that moment on. And I know I'm not like them but…" He trailed off for a moment and closed his eyes tight against a torrent of hot tears that suddenly wished for release. "I am _still_ a vampire. I am what I hate."

Faith bit her lip, hating to see him like this. Buffy's death had done a number on all of them but his reaction to it had broken him. He was coming apart at the seams…and she had to do what she could to put him back together.

"I don't know what to tell you except that I love you," she whispered to him. "I love the goof and the geek and the brave protector. And I love the monster too. Because its all you, no matter what. And I love all of you, Xander."

He shuddered at her words and looked at her, tears welling at the corners of his eyes. As she wiped them away, ignoring the red stains they left on the sheets as she dried her hand, he asked softly, "What did I do to deserve you at my side?"

"Saved me and damned yourself all at once," she replied, remembering the moment when he'd thrown himself in front of her stake. When she had realized that she was not only losing her best friend but someone she had fallen in love with. "Stood by me. Let me know that you were there, that I had a shoulder to cry on. Be my friend. Be a man who looked at me for who I really was and not just as some arm ornament or a trophy to be had in bed."

Xander smiled at her words and said, "How could I forget?" Then he kissed her forehead gently and breathed, "I love you."

"Love you too," Faith whispered back, smiling. She cuddled into his embrace, knowing he needed the comfort of her presence close right now, and sighed contentedly. When she was soundly lost to sleep, he ran his fingers through her hair and whispered, "I will try to think of myself as something better for you, Faith. For Dawn and Willow too. And…and maybe someday all of your illusions of me will be truth."

"And I can bury the monster underneath the man."


	25. You Swore, You Lied

**Chapter 25**

"Giles!"

The Watcher looked up at Dawn came crashing against the counter with a horrified look on her face.

"There are so many things missing!"

"Calm down," he said first as he rose from his chair behind the counter. "Now what's missing?"

Dawn quickly rattled off a list of the objects missing from the Magic Box's stores and when she was halfway through, a look of horror and anger came across the man's face. He snarled wordlessly then lunged at the phone, jabbing a number in as Dawn looked on numbly.

"Xander!" he hissed as he got the vampire on the other end of the line. "Willow is going to try and perform the resurrection ritual."

"WHAT?!" came the roar from the other end of the phone, loud enough for Dawn to hear it where she stood. Then he calmed and snarled, "She _promised_ me that she wouldn't."

"Xander…you know that Willow has become very reliant on her magic. I'm…I am starting to fear she's becoming addicted to the power it brings her."

"And she desperately wants her best friend back," growled Xander. "But we can't let her do it, Giles. Bringing her back…God only knows what else might happen!"

He then asked, "Will she need the grave to perform the spell?"

"Yes," replied Giles, "she'll need to be very close to it, practically on top of it."

"I'll go there then. Call Faith and get her scouring the town for her. See if Tara knows where she is."

"Tara's at home," offered Dawn in a soft voice. "She drove me over here."

Giles nodded then said, "Very well, Xander. Be careful."

A growl was all that answered him then the phone on the other end went dead. The Watcher sighed then slammed the phone back into its cradle, cursing vehemently for a moment. Then he took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm himself.

"Dawn…would you mind calling Faith and telling her the situation?"

"Sure," replied the teen and moved to the phone as Giles went to sit at the table where they researched. He sank into a chair heavily and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling.

As Dawn started her conversation with Faith, he muttered, "Oh, Willow, my girl, what are you thinking?"

---

Willow was seated on the ground, halfway through the ritual, when she got the distinct feeling she was being watched.

And she was right.

From the shadows of the graveyard came a prowling shadow, an almost palpable cloud of anger trailing its path through the graves. Fear clutched at her as she watched it approached, the crimson feline eyes letting her know who it was.

"Xander," she gasped in a choked voice as the huge panther came stalking forward. The halfway done ritual was entirely forgotten and the magical energies gathered from it dissipated upon the wind.

The beast snarled in response, flashing its fangs, and she cringed back.

"Please! I…I can't stand it! I just want Buffy back!"

There was another snarl then a frightening presence thundered into her head with tidal wave force.

_YOU PROMISED ME!_

The witch starting sobbing as that scream of rage ripped through her skull, gasping, "Xander…Xander, I'm sorry!"

_Sorry doesn't cut it_, snarled the voice in her head. There was a faint snapping noise and she looked up to see him standing above her, human again.

And the look in his crimson eyes was one of the utmost disdain and betrayal.

"You promised me you would leave the dead to death," he hissed.

"We _need_ her!" screamed Willow.

Xander snarled ferally in response to that and she flung herself backwards at the noise as it spoke to something buried deep within her. And what answered it told her to flee before this predator descended upon her.

"I thought we had covered this."

"_We need her!_"

"_You_ need her!" bellowed Xander. "People die every day, Willow! And, damnit, I don't need to know that whenever one of my friends dies they can be brought back on a whim! I don't need that!"

He snarled wordlessly then finished, "Else I would start begging for them back every time they died, cursing them to this same existence as me only worse. Because they would have to die first before being brought back!"

"We _have_ to accept death! It doesn't matter if we have the power to bring her back! She's gone…now let her rest in peace."

Willow choked on a sob and breathed, "Xander…"

"You have to stop this, Wills," he hissed. "You have to let her go. Move on with your life."

The witch started to answer then turned her head at the sound of a car. She shrieked as a van plowed in front of her, taking out Xander and Buffy's headstone.

"Wha…who…"

The side door of the van slid open and she recognized Warren from high school. She was too stunned to notice the strange gun he was pointing at her until he fired and everything went blank.

"Quick!" he shouted back into the van. "We have to get her in and get out of here before that nutcase comes back."

"I don't think he's a nutcase, Warren," said Jonathan nervously as he moved to help pull the witch into the van.

"He's gotta be crazy, thinking he's a vampire. Pff, I've seen him walk in sunlight!"

"And I see you three are working hard at pissing me off."

Jonathan and Warren froze at the half-growled words and slowly looked up to see Xander standing on top of their van. As they stared, the wounds he received from being hit first by the van then a tree healed up, leaving only spatters of blood to show where they'd been. And amidst the fury on his face, his eyes burned blood red.

"The hell?" breathed Warren before Xander blurred and completely disappeared. The leader of the group was then slammed in the chest by an invisible force and pummeled back against a tree. As Willow slumped to the ground, Jonathan tried to flee back into the van only to be grabbed at the collar and flung away into Warren as he tried to get up.

Xander blurred back into view them, moving towards the pair jerkily as he fought to control the rage burning through him. He pressed the Rogue back as he snarled, "You're lucky I don't kill humans. Especially not idiots like you."

Warren tried to gasp out something but between several cracked ribs and a concussion he couldn't manage it. Jonathan just stared up at the vampire in horror and babbled mindlessly.

Leaning down, Xander spat, "If you _ever_ touch one of my friends again, I won't be so nice. Now get the hell out of here before I change my mind."

The only bruised of the two nodded frantically and helped Warren to his feet, dragging him back towards the van. Before the side door was even closed, the driver was backing up and then they sped away as Xander crouched down next to Willow, his eyes glaring after the vehicle.

Then he jerked the dart they'd shot her with out and carefully picked her up, viciously kicking the magical supplies she had gathered aside as he walked away.

What he didn't realize was that she had been in the middle of the spell when he'd arrived and not at the beginning like he'd thought. And the opening she had made in the nether to get Buffy back had allowed something to break its way back into the world.


	26. Lies and a Rude Awakening

**Chapter 26**

"I'd remember killing someone!" roared Xander angrily as he glared at Anya. Despite her lack of contact with them, the ex-demon had remained in town and just so happened to show up now to tell everyone the big news.

Xander was feeding and killing people.

"I saw you!" she snapped right back at him. "You leaning over her and her dead!"

The vampire snarled and hissed, "Bullshit! I have only ever had one reason for killing people and that was when I lost my damn mind!"

"Well you must have lost it again!"

"If I had lost it again, this whole _town_ would be dead!"

"Please," said Giles amidst the din. "Anya, do be quiet. Xander, son…"

Xander rocked back on his heels with a snarl and glowered in silence at the ex-demon for a moment before looking at Giles. The Watcher sighed and said, "I believe you. But we could better spend our time finding out who is trying to frame you than arguing like this."

There was silence for a moment then the vampire sighed, slumping back down into his chair next to Faith. The Slayer touched a hand to his shoulder and he laid his over it, twining their fingers together. That contact calmed him and he muttered, "Sorry, Giles. But I'm not about to take credit for something I didn't do. Also, if I _was_ feeding, there damn well wouldn't be any bodies. Unlike our local bloodsuckers, I don't have to kill to feed." He glared at Anya as he said this and she just sniffed imperiously in response.

Giles sighed again and took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. Then he said, "Alright, everyone be very careful. We have no idea who or what could have done this so we must be watchful. Willow…"

The redheaded witch darted her head up nervously, eyes wide. Her fingers fluttered nervously across the table as she asked, "Yes?" After her botched resurrection attempt, things between the rest of the gang and her had gotten stressful.

"Do you think you can find out who she is?"

Willow nodded and replied, "If she's been found, yes."

"Did you call the police?" asked Faith, looking at Anya. The ex-demon snorted and replied, "Of course. They took the body away then I came here to spread the news."

Xander growled in the back of his throat then slumped in his chair, absently rubbing his thumb across Faith's hand. As Willow set up her computer to start searching and Anya left in a sudden huff, the Slayer stood. Leaning over the chair, she slid her arms around his shoulders and looked worriedly at him.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

He nodded and turned his head towards her, smiling as he touched his forehead to her chin.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Faith nodded before saying, "Let's go patrol."

"I like that idea," said Xander, slipping out of her grasp and standing. Together they walked out of the store and into the night, scrounging through the cemeteries for a few hours before ending up at Willy's to threaten the few locals left for information and have a drink. As the vampire was threatening a demon, Faith's cell phone rang and she answered it hurriedly.

"What's the what?"

"Katrina Walkins," said Willow from the other end of the line. "And it looks like it was someone just impersonating Xander. They didn't try to make it look like a vampire attack at all."

Faith scowled at that then asked, "How'd she die?"

There was a pause then, "Trauma to the head and neck. They're calling it a suicide."

"So someone's getting away with murder. Fuck. Xan!"

"Yeah?" growled Xander in response. He held the demon off the ground almost effortlessly with one arm and was glowering at him venomously.

"The name Katrina Walkins ring any bells?"

The vampire frowned for a moment then dropped the demon, growling, "You get off light this time. I smell human blood on you again and I'll rip your face off." As the demon went fleeing away, he strode back towards Faith and replied, "The name does sound familiar…"

He then snapped his fingers and spat, "Warren!"

"Warren, one of the three that drove a van into you, Warren?" she asked, blinking.

"One and the same," replied Xander as the whole bar went still at the thought of someone having the balls to run over the vampire. "I distinctly remember them going out in high school. Then the relationship went kaput."

Faith scowled at that and said, "So…you think he tried to get her back and accidentally ended up killing her…"

"And tried to throw the blame on me after I thwarted their plot to kidnap Willow for whatever reason and broke five of his ribs. Yeah."

"Son of a bitch. I'll kill him."

"Gotta find him first," growled Xander, eyes flashing red for a moment.

"We'll work on that." The Slayer then turned back to the phone and said, "Thanks."

"That ends that search then," said Willow numbly from the other end before she hung up the phone. As Faith shoved her cell back into her jeans, she snarled, "This shit ain't five by five."

Xander nodded then slapped sixty dollars down on the counter to cover their drinks, the minor dent in the wall, and just to keep Willy from cringing too much. The barman smiled politely as they left then breathed a heavy sigh of relief when they were really gone.

The pair of them were hard enough on his business when they weren't actually present.

---

"Xander's kinda…off lately," mused Dawn as she and Faith lounged in the backyard. They were both sprawled on a blanket, staring up at the sky and just hanging in general.

The Slayer frowned and said, "Its those three idiots. They've managed to delude us for weeks, even after he found their little lair. It's driving him crazy trying to figure out what they'll try next."

The teenager bit her lip then cursed under her breath.

"I hope he figures it out. I miss movie nights."

"Me too," said Faith, smiling as she remembered their previously frequent night time viewings of whatever movie the teenager felt like. Thankfully she had good taste – a taste that she proudly proclaimed was inspired by Xander (they all dutifully ignored the fact that her memories were created).

But their movie viewings had tapered off in the past few weeks and had ceased all together two weeks ago.

The Slayer sighed and scowled at the sky as if it was the culprit keeping her man overly occupied. Then she sprang to her feet as she heard a noise and found herself staring face to face with an irate Warren.

"I know how to kill him now," hissed the man in an insane voice as Dawn slowly gained her feet.

Faith glared at him coldly then breathed, "Dawnie…get in the house."

Warren smirked and continued as though she hadn't said a thing nor Dawn moved.

"I have to kill the thing he cares about most."

He lifted his arm then and Faith only just saw the gun in his hands before it fired. Shock raced through her as she felt the impact in her body and collapsed, looking at Warren sadly as he smirked in seeming victory.

"You're a dead man," she breathed out before her eyes rolled into the back of her head. A screaming Dawn ran to her side and pressed the blanket they'd been laying on over the wound, ignoring Warren as he stood smirking for a moment before walking off.

Warren, crazed to the point of finding any way to stop Xander from hunting him down, had done something immensely stupid.

He had essentially just awoken a sleeping dragon.

And he was not going to enjoy it when the raging dragon found him.


	27. A Life Changing Event

**Chapter 27**

Xander was sitting in the Magic Box flipping through a book when the phone rang. As Giles picked it up, he absently listened in – and his heart froze as he heard Dawn's tearful voice on the other end of the line.

Before the Watcher could even turn around to stare at him, the vampire was gone. He had heard every word of the conversation.

And all of his being was suddenly focused on a house and how quickly he could get there. He moved faster than he ever had before and came crashing over the fence into the backyard, landing in a crouch before dashing to Faith's side. Tara, who held a towel pressed down over the Slayer's wound, looked up at him with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Xander stared numbly down at her for a moment, his hands shaking as he reached out to touch Faith's cheek. Then he leaned over and gently lifted her up, forcing Tara to pull back away and stop pressing down on the wound. More blood gushing out and he pulled the towel away, laying his hand across the wound and searing it closed with fire. He shifted his hand again and seared another shut before carefully lowering her back to the ground.

Then he closed his eyes and pressed his hand to Faith's forehead, hissing in relief after a moment. "She'll live," he murmured. "The bullet missed anything vital."

As Dawn reappeared, she gasped, "Xander! Faith…"

"She's okay," said Tara quickly.

"Thank God!" The teenager ran to her guardian's side and flung herself into his embrace. "I was so afraid that…that she was gone."

Xander shook his head and murmured, "She's still with us." As Faith twitched then went still from Tara's quickly whispered sleep spell he breathed, "Thank you." The witch gently squeezed his shoulder then softly said, "We should get her to the hospital."

He nodded numbly and carefully moved to stand, lifting the Slayer's limp body in his arms. Looking towards Giles who had come immediately after him in his car, he asked, "Can you take her?"

"Of course," replied the Watcher. "She'll be alright for the ride, correct? We don't need to call an ambulance?"

Xander shook his head, replying, "She's fine for now – just unconscious from shock and the sleep spell. The blood loss wasn't too bad so far as I could tell but she still needs to get more back in her."

Giles nodded and they started outside but he paused and turned towards Dawn, who was sniffling into Willow's shirt, and said, "Dawn. Who did this?"

"Warren," replied the teenager in a choked voice. "He…he said he knew how to kill him. That he had to kill what he cared about most."

"Oh Goddess," breathed Tara. She then moved over to her lover and Dawn and hugged them both as Willow stroked the girl's hair. Giles took off his glasses for a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose, trying to control his temper, and when he put them back on, Xander had returned from putting Faith in the car. The vampire still had blood on his hands and shirt and was staring at it numbly.

Then he looked up and Giles watched as his expression went cold as he stared past all of them at the backyard and the bloodstained ground.

"Xander," he hissed as he watched his surrogate's son's eyes become overcome by blood red slowly.

"He tried to kill her. How long before he tries to kill everything I love?"

"Killing him won't solve anything."

Fangs bared, Xander snarled, "He almost killed her. And I have told you many things, Giles, but I never told you the only laws my kind have."

The Watcher waited and he continued, "Honor and abide by the will of the First, the Elders, and your Sire; respect the territory of your kin, no matter the Line or Sire, and do not tread there if they do not allow it; and finally…"

"…_if you bring harm to something of another, he shall have the right to avenge that harm upon you in any way he chooses._"

Clenching his fists, the vampire snarled, "The moment he caressed the thought of killing Faith in his head, he signed his own death warrant. His death is _mine_, Giles. If there is anything I will take from Darien's world, I'll take that law and make it my own!"

"Xander, it does not have to be this way!"

"No, it does. We can't go to the police now – the wound is sealed and if I find that bullet, I'll be returning it to him in the most painful way possible. And I will not wait until he comes back to claim someone else."

Willow started to open her mouth but he cut her off with a sharp sweep of his hand and a snarl.

"Don't even think of telling me that you give me permission to turn you!" He closed his eyes and hissed, "I couldn't bear the pain of doing that to someone I love."

Giles sighed and looked at Xander for a moment before saying, "Do what you think best." _Do what you think best and be done with it else __**I**__ shall have to do it_, he added to himself.

"I will," said the vampire then he blurred and was gone.


	28. A Fool Dies

**Chapter 28**

Faith blinked slowly as she opened her eyes and turned to find Dawn sitting next to her, looking like she'd gone through Hell and back. After a moment she became aware of the sound of beeping and wondered what it was.

"Dawn?"

The teenager looked up in fright then gasped, "Omigod, Faith! I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry? For wh…"

Her voice trailed off as something bumped in her mind and she _remembered._

Warren.

The gunshot.

Screaming.

Xander.

Pain.

Then…darkness.

Xander's feverish voice echoed through her head though she couldn't figure out the words and she sat up with a gasp. Even as Dawn grasped her shoulder and said she should lie back down, her hand flew to her heart. Feeling the pulse of it still, she moved to her shoulders, fingers fluttering across the bandage there.

She was alive.

And in the hospital as she now realized.

"Faith…" she heard Dawn say and looked up at her. At the teenager's distraught look, the Slayer gently smiled and took the girl's shaking hands. Gently she guided her back down into her chair and said, "I'm okay, Dawnie."

"Why?" she gasped, staring. "Why would someone do this to you?"

"Because he's crazy," replied Faith. "Now where's Fangs?"

"We…we don't know," replied Dawn, looking a bit more calmed now that Faith was awake and seemed alright. "He said something about Warren's death being his and then he left."

"Giles let him go?"

The teenager nodded frantically and Faith frowned then sighed and closed her eyes, knowing she would have to stay here. She was a Slayer, yes, but even a gunshot could get one of them down for the count for a while. But if she could she would have gone after Xander the moment she had awoken.

"I suppose we have to trust him to come back."

Dawn opened her mouth to protest then looked sheepish. As Faith opened her eyes again, the teen said softly, "You couldn't go after him even if you wanted to, could you?"

"Not now," replied the Slayer. "I've got to heal. And he'd scream at me if I didn't let myself."

The teenager smiled at that, saying, "He would. Um…I should go tell the nurse you're awake."

As she darted out of the hospital room, Faith turned her face towards the open window, eyebrows furrowed. She was damn lucky to be alive and she knew it.

Xander had saved her too, she knew that. She could distinctly remember hearing his voice and feeling his touch.

Closing her eyes, she tried to reach out like he'd tried to teach her before, so if they were separated he could find her. He'd been determined that she could learn it because in Darien's world, his lover Arana had learned to do it when she was still entirely mortal. And Faith had managed to learn it too through a lot of work and practice.

She reached out and…something twitched back for a moment - a retreated little knot of a place in the back of her mind but still there. And she pressed at it, causing a small bit of it to unknot and reach back to her.

_Faith_.

The anguish in Xander's voice would have brought her to tears if she were a weaker woman. Reaching to the knot, she touched his presence and said, _I'm here._

She could sense him smile for a brief moment then he sobered even as Dawn returned with a nurse in tow.

_I can't stay,_ he said to her, his presence already retreating from hers. _I have to…_

_I know_, she said, touching that knot again, knowing contact couldn't be kept up for long. _I just wanted you to know I'm okay._

Xander paused for a moment then he whispered, _I can't let him get away with this. You know that. I…_

Faith sighed and said, _I remember the laws. Go, Fangs._

What of him she could still feel shuddered with relief at that, which she frowned at. He was the only one she had told those laws to and did he think she wouldn't understand when he chose to act on one? If their situations were reversed, she would have done the very same thing.

_Make them understand._

_I will_, she swore. Then he was entirely gone, the tentative connection broken as he closed off his mind.

Faith smiled and answered a few questions from the nurse then the others were allowed in, crowded in around her. She welcomed the hugs from Willow and Tara then looked up at Giles, saying, "I think I have a few things to explain so you can understand."

Giles' eyes sought hers and she met them, trying to convey her trust in Xander to this man that had given her a home and had become something of a father figure to her. He nodded after a moment and said, "I think a few are needed."

The Slayer nodded and they all settled down around her in the room that smelled of antiseptic. Dawn leaned on the bed next to her, hand gripped in hers for comfort, and Faith squeezed it gently before looking back at the group.

"There's been a lot Xander hasn't told you all. With this…I suppose its best that it be told. So I'll tell you now what he hasn't."

---

"_Nngh!_"

A body slammed hard against a wall then slumped down to the ground, lying in a pained little heap. After a moment, Warren Mears lifted his head and cackled at his killer like a madman.

"Ha…haha."

Eyes the color of blood gleamed from out of the dark and then Xander stepped forward, the tips of his boots touching Warren's hands. He stared down at him for a moment, his jawed clenched, then he blurred into movement. The heel of his boot came down on the man's fingers and the snap of bone echoed through the night like a gunshot.

Warren's shrill scream of pain rose into the air as the vampire proceeded to repeat the process on every finger until each was shattered. The man on the ground whimpered in pain but that faded after a moment to be replaced by the same mad cackle. Said cackle was cut off as Xander planted his boot in his cheek with enough force to shatter his jaw and sent him rolling across the concrete.

As he watched Warren lay hacking and coughing on the ground, half-choking on his own blood, a mad gleam entered the vampire's eyes. As a grin began to twist his mouth, Xander gritted his teeth and willed his inner monster back. The Rogue snarled in response but settled back into its appointed spot, watching intently from the back of his mind. It was always looking for an opening to strike from, even if he had beaten it down several times.

"Kill…me already," gasped Warren. Xander's eyes darted to him and he scowled as he strode forward towards the prone man.

"I intended to break your jaw," he snarled, his voice low and guttural from rage. "Pity."

The man cackled and chirped, "Try again!"

The vampire smirked at that and said, "Okay," before he vanished. Warren choked and tried to scramble to his feet but was tossed through the air the moment he gained his knees. His face smashed into a brick wall and he fell to the ground screaming in pain, trying vainly to curl up into a ball.

But hands grabbed him before he could manage it and flung him back against the wall, holding him dangling there like a worm on a hook. Head lolling on his shoulders, Warren opened his eyes and choked as Xander thrust his face close to his.

At this distance, the man could see the madness that danced in those red eyes – a madness held by a frightening willpower. And, for the first time, he wished he hadn't been such a fool as to go after him.

He should have just packed up like Jonathan had suggested and left town. Like Jonathan and Andrew had done, leaving their lair empty and barren.

If they had only told him…

No…no, after what he did, Xander would have hunted him to the ends of the earth. Which was why he hadn't been surprised when he'd entered the empty lair to find the vampire waiting for him.

"Kill me," he tried to say again, this time actually meaning it. But all that came out was a half-garbled mess and a large gout of blood.

The vampire sneered and the madness that danced wildly at the back of his eyes roared forward, just barely held back from taking over entirely. That sneer twisted into a wicked, menacing smile that promised pain and torment for the hapless creature in his grasp. And again Warren wished he hadn't been such a crazed fool.

"Come into my parlor," cackled Xander, speaking the words of the spider to the fly. "I'm certain we shall have a grand and delightful time."

He then vanished with the poor man to parts unknown but everyone in Sunnydale heard his screams that night. More people packed up to leave the town while those in one house sat and prayed that the missing member of their family would come back to them.

Andrew and Jonathan, sitting in a van on the edge of town, shuddered and the dark-haired man through the vehicle into drive with a hiss of breath. He threw a wide-eyed glance at the blonde in the passenger seat and they both shared a silent agreement that they would never do the things they had done under Warren again.

And in the expanses of tunnels underneath Sunnydale, Xander smashed a crystal he'd asked Tara months ago to make him against the stone wall and felt the wards she had sat down around the room go up. He smiled bitterly then spun around on Warren, who was lying in a cringing and whimpering heap against the wall. For a moment he stared then closed his eyes, slowly taking down the barriers he had spent months building up and solidified every moment of the day.

_Here_, he said to the violent presence at the back of his mind. _Here is something you can kill._

The Rogue surged forward with a cackle at that and shoved him aside, taking control with a scream of pleasure. It flexed his fingers, grinning madly, then leapt at Warren, who screamed shrilly in what was left of his voice before the bulk of the vampire crushed him. Rough fingers closed about his throat and his wild eyes stared past them at the crazed blood red eyes set in a suddenly feral face.

"Not much," purred the monster, regarding him appraisingly. Then it cackled and finished, "But you will do well enough for what you did to my girl."

Warren's eyes widened at that then the fingers about his throat stared to tighten, squeezing viciously as that face grinned above him. As spots formed in front of his eyes, the hands released him.

"But you can't die so easily, pretty pet. It's been so long since I got to play. Time to pay the piper and please the masses!"

Darkness descended on him then as the monster began its work on him and the last sane thought Warren had was the he was a fool.


	29. A Rescue in the Dark

_If you're at this point in the story as of now (10/21/07), you should go back and reread it in its entirety. Yes, my apologies, but I wasn't quite happy with where it was going so I've gone back and rewritten a few things. For the most part the story continues as it was…but there are some differences that will make this chapter confusing if you haven't reread the changes._

**Chapter 29**

_F-Faith?_

A faint presence nudged at her from the corner of her mind and the wounded Slayer woke from her sleep with a start. Sitting upright in the hospital bed, she was aware of Giles in the chair next to her looking up from the book he'd been reading. After a moment she calmed and closed her eyes, reaching back towards that presence touching her mind.

_Xander?_

His presence pulsed faintly against hers and she felt the harsh swoop of shame before he closed himself off from her. _Tara_, he managed to choke out. _Tell Tara…wards. She'll know._

_Xander, what do you mean? XANDER!_ She screamed wordlessly aloud and flailed after him as his presence faded, as suddenly there and gone like a light switch cut off.

Giles touched her arm then, drawing her gaze towards him, and asked, "Xander?" After all, she'd told him that they could reach each other for short periods of time.

"Tara," she said shortly to the Watcher. "He said Tara knew."

"I'll call her. You stay there, Faith, you hear me?"

She nodded and watched him as he went over to the phone in the room, dialing out carefully. As he talked, she deliberately eavesdropped and waved him on as he turned towards her after hanging it up.

"Go," said Faith. "I swear I'll stay here – he'd scream at me if I didn't and I don't want to send Dawn into a panic if she wakes up to find me gone." Smiling towards the teenager asleep on a couch someone had dragged in, she added softly, "Just bring him back."

"We will," promise Giles. He gripped one of her hands tightly for a moment then grabbed his coat and was gone. Faith sighed into the nearly empty room then and leaned back into the bed to wait.

"What have you done, Fangs?" she murmured. "What are you so ashamed that you've done?"

---

_You let me out._

"And I just put you back in," hissed Xander aloud, his voice broken and hoarse. "Now damn well stay there, you sick sonovabitch."

The Rogue chuckled darkly at that and purred, _I couldn't talk at all if you didn't let me. Admit it…you like the freedom I give._

"Your freedom comes with too high a price."

_Only because you're a sentimental sap! A little bloodshed and slaughter every once in a while is good for the soul. I'd have thought you'd learned that in our earlier outings._

Xander tried to sneer but didn't quite manage it. Instead he grunted and rolled over onto his back in the grime of the room hidden deep in the sewer tunnels and covered with enough wards that the First would've had a hard time getting out.

"Fuck off."

_I'd be a pleasure. But first I need our pretty little piece of work…_

"YOU LEAVE FAITH ALONE, YOU BASTARD!"

_Temper, temper!_ Admonished the Rogue. _She's __**our**__ pretty little Faithie, stupid. After all…we're one and the same no matter how much you deny it._

"I am _nothing_ like you," hissed the vampire between bared fangs.

_Not now. Give it time. Heheh…you enjoyed me ripping that little shit apart as much as I did. Though I do admit I could've gotten another two hours playtime out of him if you hadn't insisted on finally killing him. A real pity, y'know?_

"Shut. Up."

_You're a pansy. A horrible fucking excuse for a vampire._

"He tried to kill her. Of course I'd enjoy tearing him apart."

The Rogue laughed at that.

_Then why didn't you kill him yourself?_

No answer came and it laughed even harder. _See!_ It crowed wildly. _See how much you really want to use me, pansy? Gotta make me do your damn dirty work – not that I didn't enjoy it. But next time you have to bring more than one party favor to the big bash._

"SHUT. UP."

_Make me_, hissed the Rogue with a sneer. Xander snarled and flailed upright, stagnant water and blood flying into the air, slamming mental walls down and doors shut. The Rogue laughed madly the entire time and he kept piling everything between him and it until he couldn't hear the cackling anymore.

When he couldn't hear it, he curled up with his forehead resting against his knees and grabbed fistfuls of his hair in either hand, eyes shut tight in a vain attempt to keep the tears out. He started shuddering and shaking a moment later and gasped, "I'm not like you. I'm not, I'm not…"

_Yes_, hissed the voice faintly, somehow snaking past everything he'd thrown between himself and it. _You are._

The vampire was on his feet with a roar at that. He punched furiously at one of the stone walls and bellowed, "I WILL NOT BE A MONSTER!"

_Someday._

"NEVER!"

"Xander?" came an exclamation suddenly from the other side of the locked door. He jerked in shock for a moment then a low whine exited his throat.

"Giles…"

His hearing caught the sharp intake of breaths on the other side of the door and then, "Are they down? GET THEM BLOODY DOWN NOW!"

Xander swayed suddenly and fell to his knees as Giles shoved the door open, Willow and Tara right behind him. The Watcher collapsed next to him in the blood and water, grasping him around the shoulders with one arm and holding him up as he almost collapsed. "I've got you, son," he hissed and the vampire sagged against him gratefully.

At a sob from the door, he looked up and saw Tara hugging Willow tightly as his best friend sobbed into her girlfriend's chest. Then he looked at Giles, saw the worry and the fear in his eyes, and closed his own.

_This is what I have to remember_, he railed mentally. _This is what I live for, what I fight for, what I don't just drown myself under that monster for. My family…_

"Faith?" he gasped, sure she'd have come as well.

"She's fine," answered Giles. Carefully the older man levered them both upright, tugging one of Xander's arms across his shoulders and holding him steady on his feet. "I'm not so sure about you though."

"I'll be okay."

But he knew that all of them knew better than that. And anyone could smell the blood that practically choked the air in this room.

The blood and that crumpled mass of flesh flung haphazardly into a dark, far corner was all that remained of Warren Mears. All that was left of the man that had tried to kill Faith.

If he wasn't dead and knew a resurrection spell was madness, Giles would have bring him back and kill him a second time.

Xander sagged against him and he frowned at his surrogate son, giving him a little shake. Eyes stained dark purple shifted towards him and the Watcher hissed, "You're not 'okay'."

"No," replied the vampire wearily. "I…I was stupid. When I couldn't kill him, I…damnit, Giles, I let that _thing_ out and I let it have him. And I _watched_! I watched from the back of my mind and I took _joy_ out of what it was doing to him, took joy from watching him in pain." He dropped his head, unable to look at his surrogate father now, and asked, "What sort of person does that make me?"

There was silence for a moment then Giles said softly, "It was a horrible thing, yes. But…even the best of us fall to that sometimes."

"Would you have done it? Would you have killed him if I hadn't?"

"Yes."

Xander nodded then laughed hoarsely. "Glad someone can understand. Faith's gonna kill me…all that work I did to keep it back and I just go and let it out on a whim. Just because I couldn't kill the bastard that tried to kill her. God, I am a pansy."

Giles frowned as he started them moving forward towards the door, softly saying, "No. No, I think you're just as human as the rest of us, son."

There was only a grunt in reply then they came to a halt, Xander turning to look at Willow. She stared at him from within the circle of Tara's arms in the doorway, taking in his weariness, the remorse that stained his eyes in emotion and color, and the blood smeared across his clothes and skin. Then she darted forward and pressed herself against his side, sobbing like a child. He wrapped an arm around her, leaning his head against her, and murmured, "S'okay, Wills."

"You're an ass," she sobbed into his shirt.

"Yeah," said Xander as he closed his eyes, "I know."

"Don't you ever do that again. You hear me, Xander?" They looked at each other then and she continued, "Or I'll…I'll do something really nasty to you. And see? Resolve face."

"Resolve face," he murmured, nodding. "I gotcha."

"Good," said Willow. She buried her face in the crook of his shoulder and hissed, "Bastard."

Xander smiled and hugged her tightly before saying, "Let's go home."

"Th-the body?" queried Tara as Giles and Xander shuffled through the doorway after Willow moved away. The vampire stiffened then turned to look over his shoulder, the remorse in his eyes flickering to hate for one brief instant.

"Let it rot," he hissed. "The bastard doesn't deserve a burial."

Then they were moving again, the two witches closing the door on the corpse of Warren before they followed, hand in hand. As they stepped out into sunlight, Xander groaned and murmured, "I almost wish it could burn me away."

"No, you don't," said Giles as he opened the door of his car and eased the vampire down into the seat.

A dark chuckle answered him and he frowned worriedly at his surrogate son as he said, "You're right, I don't. But it'd be a way to make the pain go away." The man clasped the vampire's shoulder tightly for a moment then moved around the car, turning the key as he heard the girls get into the back. He glanced towards Xander in the seat next to him then shifted it into drive with a world-weary sigh.

And he wished desperately that there were someway to reverse what had happened to the young man he'd come to consider a son.


	30. The Wake of Evil

**Chapter 30**

"No, Dawnie, you gotta do it like this. See?"

"Er…I think so."

Xander smiled as he sat on the back steps, sipping periodically from the mug in his hand as he watched Slayer and former Key spar amongst the morning mist. Thanks to him and the fact that he'd taken a job in town that involved carpentry after finding he really liked it (carving stakes to relieve stress and needing a distraction were what helped that along), they had a tall fence around the backyard that blocked off anyone but the most resolute of nosey neighbors.

_Thwack._

He smiled as Faith caught Dawn's foot easily but that was to be expected since she was the Slayer. The teenager was doing well though and could easily take down a vanilla human that tried to come after her. Maybe even a weak vamp if she kept her head.

"Doing well, I see," commented Giles as he sank down next to the vampire. "Dawn improves every week it seems."

"She's doing good," said Xander. "Good enough to take on a human or a weak vamp. But she's got a long way to go if she wants to take on anything else."

The Watcher nodded and sipped from the mug he'd brought outside, from which the strong smell of coffee came. "You haven't sparred with her?"

"Not yet."

"What about with Faith?"

"Not of late."

Giles frowned at his surrogate son for a long moment then murmured, "Xander, you have to approach this at some point. You can't just ignore the fact that you have a problem."

"I don't have a problem."

"You are deathly afraid that if you raise your hand against someone human again, you will lose control."

Xander twitched then frowned at the two combatants, taking a long gulp from his mug. The two men sat there in silence for a long moment then he broke it in a low voice.

"How long have you known?" he asked wearily.

"Since Faith mentioned to me that you've never taken her up on being her sparring partner of late," replied Giles. "You willingly took that up."

"I don't want to hurt her. She…"

"It's been over eight months since she was shot, son."

"Damnit. How do you do that? How do you see right through me?"

"Its something I've learned over the past year or two," replied the Watcher with a smile. He then clasped the vampire's shoulder, drawing his gaze to him, and said, "You shouldn't be this afraid of it. Fear, as I recall a very good book once saying, is a mind killer."

Xander blinked and queried, "Dune?" At the man's arched eyebrows, he admitted, "I've seen the movie, Giles. Classic sci-fi geek, remember?"

"How could I forget?" asked the older man with a smile. "Though it is true."

"Yeah, I know but…"

"But what, son?"

"I never really had it under control, Giles…I blocked it away from me, locked it up. When I took all that away, I couldn't entirely put it back. I…I've been trying to control it but its hard. One of the hardest things I've ever done in my life."

"But something you have to do."

Xander nodded and replied, "Yeah. Just blocking it from me didn't help at all – if anything, I think it might've made it stronger. But I'm going to control it if it kills me."

Giles smiled, clasping his shoulder again, saying softly, "Well I hope it doesn't come to that as I know several young women and one old man who would hate to live without you."

"Thanks, G-man."

"Ah…you know I hate that name."

"I know," said Xander with a smile. He then looked at the two combatants as they laughed and started towards them, arms around each others shoulders, and asked, "Hey, Faith, patrol tonight with me?"

She blinked at him then smiled, nodding. "Sure, Fangs."

Dawn jumped forward and exclaimed, "But you two have to be back before midnight! They're showing _Santa Claus Conquers the Martians_ on AMC."

"Me miss a cheesy black and white B-movie?" asked Xander, affecting a look of shock. "Why, Dawnie, if you think I'd miss that, you don't know me at all." Grinning, he rose and tugged the teenager to his side as he opened the back door, saying, "You know I wouldn't miss that for the world, kiddo."

"Awesome," said Dawn cheerfully. She wrinkled her nose then and continued, "I'm going to go take a shower now 'cause I reek."

The three adults watched as the teenager disappeared into the house and Faith helped Giles up, the man groaning as his back popped. He then sighed as the phone rang from inside, saying, "Probably the bloody Council."

"Nothing's wrong, right?" asked Faith. "I mean, c'mon, everything's been five by five in town for months now. If something were up, we'd know first."

"Not necessarily," replied the Watcher before he disappeared inside. The Slayer frowned after him then looked at Xander, who looked as worried as her. She elbowed him in the side, drawing his attention to her, and said, "You feel something too, don't you? Something's coming."

"Yeah," he replied softly. "Something's definitely up."

She bit her lip then slipped under his arm, leaning into his embrace and trusting him to hold her. His arm tightened around her immediately and he hissed, "You have to help me get this under control, Faith. I can't keep being afraid of myself. Not now."

"I've been telling you that for the past four months," she growled. "But you're stubborn."

"I'm listening now."

"Yeah, you are. What do I need to do?"

Xander frowned and replied, "We'll go out tonight and find some place out of the way where we can go. Then…you'll have to fight me and I…"

He trailed off and she asked, "Fangs?"

"I…I'm going to have to briefly let it loose, Faith. I locked it away once – now I've got to beat it down into control. If I lose it entirely though, if I can't come back after it takes over, you…"

She turned in his arms, folding her fingers over his mouth to stop him from continuing. He stared at her for a moment then closed his eyes as she breathed, "I'll have to kill you. I know."

"But it won't come to that," she said stonily a moment later. "You got me?"

"Yeah," he replied with a smile, opening his eyes to see the determination covering the fear in her eyes. "I gotcha, Faith."

"Good. Now lemme go so I can go kick Dawnie out of the shower in a few and take me one."

Xander grinned as she strolled away into the house with her hunter's walk then he followed her, carefully setting his mug down in the sink after rinsing the last traces of blood from it. As he turned off the water, he heard Giles say through the wall, "Four dead? But…how? I…yes, I am aware of that. No, no, I'll do it – this isn't the sort of thing you can leave to anyone else, now is it? Yes. _Yes._ Thank you, Terrence. Goodbye."

As the Watcher came around the corner and startled at the sight of the vampire, he asked, "What's going on?"

Giles frowned then ran a shaking hand back through his hair, replying, "The girls that have the potential to be Slayer's are being hunted down and killed. Since I seem to be the best Watcher they currently have in the field, they want me to leave and gather up other potential's they've found that may be targets."

Xander scowled at that and hissed, "Then…then this darkness Faith and I've felt over the past month. It's starting."

"Yes," said Giles wearily as he took off his glasses, "and I have a very foreboding feeling about what it is going to be.

* * *

_And, yes, there seriously is a movie entitled 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians'. It is awesomely cheesy and horrible but great entertainment. :D  
_


	31. Workout the Kinks

**Chapter 31**

"Run, run, as fast as you can!" sang Xander's voice but not Xander as Faith dove behind a battered pillar. "I can _smell_ you, stupid. Hiding is useless."

"Then why tell me to run?" she shouted at him. But she knew the answer. After spending a year with him, she knew the answer to that very well.

His voice was suddenly right next to her ear, that of her friend's but with a sickly sweet ring to it that told of the insanity within. "Because the hunt is so much more fun when you run," he purred.

Faith twisted away, rolling to her feet, and lashed out with the big broadsword the moment she had the room. It slashed a line across his chest and he fell back with a scream of pain, one hand clasping the wound. He looked down at it then at her, blood red eyes narrowing as he recognized the blade in her hands – the same blade she had wielded every time they had done this in the past two months.

The blade of the alternate Xander who had gone dressed as Dante Wolfe.

The blade that could harm the sort of vampire's of Darien O'Connell's get.

"Bitch," he spat then blurred and she got ready. Her eyes darted back and forth around the room, every muscle tense as she waited for him to strike.

The blow came from the side and his foot just missed her head as she dodged him. She swung again and heard him scream angrily in pain once more as she caught flesh a second time.

Faith dove out of the way as he swung at her in blind rage and kicked him to the floor, bringing the flat of the blade around and down onto his back when he tried to get up. He grunted and started to struggle upright then a shiver ran through his body before he lay still.

She stood over him, sword at the ready, for a long moment then heard Xander groan, "Christ, that burns. That really fucking burns."

Sagging with relief, the Slayer lowered the broadsword and reached down to help him up, wincing as she saw him fingering the slash in his shirt. He smiled then said, "I'm getting better."

"Yeah, ten minutes is the fastest you've managed to beat him back down. He seems pissed though."

"He can kiss my ass for all he feels pissed about. This is my body." Wincing, he crossed the room to the broken table where they'd left their supplies and opened the cooler there to pull out a small water bottle with the label ripped off. He tossed another towards Faith - only hers was filled with actual water and his wasn't – then sank down to sit cross-legged on the dusty floor as he gulped down the blood. "Ow."

"Idiot," grumbled Faith after taking a swig from her water. She laid the sword on the table and picked up the first aid kit they'd brought along, sinking down next to him. "Off with the shirt, tough guy."

"You nailed me a good one," commented Xander as he obliged, tugging his ripped shirt over his head. He winced as she started cleaning the swipe across his chest and turned his arm so she could see the other spot she'd hit – a small cut along his left forearm.

She smiled as she smeared antiseptic across the wound on his chest, ignoring the twitch of the lean muscles under her hands, and gently wound a bandage around it, taping it down carefully. As she turned to look at the smaller wound, she said, "It's a good thing we asked for Willow's help on finding some place to do these. We'd have never thought of coming here."

"Well we weren't here at the time," Xander said with a wince as he regarded the shattered halls of the Initiative around them. He reached for the bottle of blood again as she finished bandaging the other wound and took a slow sip before picking his shirt back up. "Tara sews, right? You think she could save this?"

Faith looked at the gash in the shirt, which was one of the older precious Hawaiian print ones, then said, "Sorry, Fangs, that one's beyond saving."

"Damn. Oh well, the reason I wore it today any way was because it's old. Let's head topside and call the house."

"They'll be glad to know things are coming along okay," she said with a smile as she tossed the two bottles back into the cooler and slid it towards him. Then she picked up the broadsword and tugged out a cloth, carefully cleaning the blood off of it before she slid it into a sheath and slung it over her shoulder. Xander nodded as he picked up the cooler, making sure he was on the opposite side of where she had the sword slung as they walked out.

Because in her hands or not, it was something that could hurt him seriously if they weren't careful. He didn't like being close to it at all and had only kept it because Buffy had brought it back after they had buried Dante-Xander. It was a memento of…well, a guy he could've been and who might've been a nice guy to know if they'd been from the same universe.

And, y'know, one not been a vampire and the other a slayer that hated his immortal guts.

The moment they reached the outside, Faith's cell phone rang and she dug it out of somewhere inside her shirt. Just as Xander was about to make a joking comment about how she had a black hole in there, her face went stony and he zeroed in on the conversation going on over the line.

"Where?" he hissed.

Then he spun, sensing something, and bounded away in a blur of movement. Faith pounded after him after yelling something into the phone and found him two blocks away, the cooler at his feet, with a blond in a cheap leather duster against a wall.

"Andrew," she snarled in a low voice, remembering him. He hadn't done anything to her like Warren but they'd been a part of the same group and they'd given them all hell that year.

"What the fuck are you doing back here?" snarled Xander, right in a seriously frightened Andrew's face. But for all the nerd's shaking, he kept quiet so the vampire smiled and went on to a new tactic. "I _killed_ Warren, you know. Ripped him apart over the course of almost four horrifying hours after he tried to shoot Faith. Don't think that I won't do the same to you to, Andrew." It was enough of the truth, anyway.

"You-you wouldn't dare," babbled the nerd.

Xander smiled coldly and jerked him up slightly so their noses almost touched.

"Shall I tell you how he screamed?"

Andrew swallowed hard then spilled everything, including the ghost of Warren haunting him and killing Jonathan. Xander looked at Faith slowly, both realizing that the darkness they'd sensed coming was already upon them.

"Where's the Seal?" demanded the Slayer.

"U-under the school!"

Xander paled at that, glancing down at his watch, then looking fearfully off into the distance. "Christ," he muttered. "Okay, you, you're coming with us. Faith, try and get ahold of Giles – I don't care what he's doing for the damn Council, we need him back here three days ago."

"Gotcha, Fangs," she said, already dialing the number. As he walked a few feet away, he spun back towards the shivering nerd and hissed, "You got anything else to tell me, Andrew?"

"N-no," gasped the blond. "I swear!"

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not! Please, p-please, I don't want to end up like Warren!"

"Good," said Xander stonily. "Cause I don't want to have to do that to someone again. Now let's go."

He let the nerd hit the ground and bent to pick up the cooler before hauling him along behind him…backwards. Andrew yelped and hit the ground, after which Xander picked him up with a roll of his eyes and shoved him forward. "Walk in front, Slick," he intoned then glanced towards Faith. "Anything?"

"No answer," she replied and he smelt the worry in her voice. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, worried as well.

Giles was far more to both of them than he was to the others. He'd given Faith a place to stay and looked after her and, hell, Xander wished the man had been his father instead of Tony Harris.

If something had happened to him…

"He'll be fine," he said reassuringly. "Giles has been through tougher stuff than those old sticks in the mud can throw at him."

"I know."


	32. A Black Wind Blows

**Chapter 32**

"Christ, Giles, you okay?" exclaimed Xander as Tara handed the exhausted Watcher a cup of tea. He then glanced towards the three girls, eyebrows furrowed, and asked, "And…potentials, I'm gonna guess?"

"You would be correct," replied Giles. "As to whether I am 'okay', no, I'm very far from that since we appear to be having a slight Apocalypse."

"Yeah, we figured that out," intoned the vampire. "Evil's been busy in town of late – even went so far as to recruit Andrew and made him kill Jonathan."

"Good Lord."

Xander nodded then looked up as Faith said, "We're still not too sure on what we're dealing with here. Fangs has sensed Spike once or twice in town but we still haven't been able to find him. Plus we've been dealing with these damn creeps running around town."

One of the girls jumped and asked, "Bringers?"

"If that's what they're called, yeah," said Xander. "Symbols for eyes?"

Giles paled slightly and sat down his cup slowly. "So they are here already," he muttered, "I feared so."

He then looked at them all assembled in front of him at the table: Xander alert in his chair, eyes flickering with concern; Faith standing behind him with one hand on the back of his chair and the other on Dawn's shoulder in her seat next to him, the teenager's hand clasped over hers; Willow looked worriedly at him from the opposite side of the table with Tara next to her, their hands clasped on top of the table. And he could feel the eyes of the three potentials behind him on him, though they kept straying away to Faith.

Bowing his head, he began to explain just what was going on.

By the time he was done, Xander was shaking with held back rage, Dawn was clutching his hand in an attempt to keep him steady, Faith looked just as ready to kill, Willow appeared horrified but resolute, and Tara bit her lip before rising with a murmur about more tea.

"So," said Xander slowly after he had closed his eyes and taken several calming breaths, "we're not only dealing with a Big Bad, we're dealing with the first one."

"It would seem so."

"And this isn't something we can just cut off the head of, is it?"

"I'm afraid not," replied Giles wearily.

Dawn bit her lip then asked, "Erm…why now? I mean…if this thing's this powerful, how come it's only coming now?"

"It couldn't. Even now, it is weaker than it should be. The Council hypothesized that somehow a hole was opened at some point, allowing it to come through, but thankfully not at full strength. Though the only thing that could cause a hole powerful enough to allow that would be extremely complicated and dangerous magic."

"A hole," said Xander slowly. Then he twitched and swung around to stare at Willow, whose clapped her hands over her mouth, horrified eyes wide. "Wills…"

"Oh Goddess," breathed the witch. "I…oh no…"

"What?" asked one of the potentials, looking around in confusion. "Hey, explain!"

The vampire sighed and reached across the table to grab his friend's hands, pulling them away from her face and holding them tightly in his. As she whimpered and clutched at his, he regretted every moment he had stayed away from her in the past few years. She'd needed him and he had turned away from her for what she'd done.

"Giles told you about the previous Slayer, right?" he asked, speaking to the potentials but not looking at them. He kept his eyes on Willow, telling her through them that he forgave her for what she'd done, and she smiled back gratefully before collapsing onto the table.

"Yeah…"

"Wills tried to raise her after she died." Ignoring their gasps, he continued, "I stopped her but…I didn't realize till just now that she was in the middle of the spell when I got there and not at the beginning. Christ…"

"I'm sorry," gasped Willow and he shook his head, murmuring, "You didn't know."

He then sighed and rose, looking towards the potential Slayer's then at the rest of them – his family. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, then opened them again.

"Well then," Xander said slowly, "we've got pure evil on the warpath against us, things killing future Slayer's in hope's to keep the White Hats down on the count, and all that stands against them is us."

Clapping his hands together, he gave the potentials a smile, continuing, "Looks like training is in session, newbies. Welcome to the Hellmouth in the time of the Apocalypse. Time to go to war."

---

"Hi, Xander."

The vampire stiffened where he stood on the roof and slowly turned to regard the figure standing behind him. He frowned then shook his head, saying, "So…I get to be the first visited by you, eh? You really think you can fool me like that?"

"Maybe," said the First Evil as it moved forward, wearing Buffy's form.

Xander snorted, sneering, "You got the looks but you ain't got the soul. Oh, and I can't smell a damned thing up here but me and the world so fuck off."

He turned his back towards the manifestation, ready to ignore it, then it spoke again, saying, "What if I told you I could change things?"

"And why would I make a bargain with you?"

"I could make you mortal again. Make you so you could be with Faith. I could even bring Buffy back…Jessie even if you wanted me to."

He laughed at that, laughed high and hoarsely and so hard he almost fell off the roof. Then he spun with a snarl and hissed, "I've made my peace with the future I face, asshole. And I know better than to make a deal with shit like you."

The First scowled at that then pouted.

"And here I thought I wouldn't have to resort to this."

Buffy's form flickered and Xander staggered back a step as he was greeted with another blonde figure, this one slightly taller than the Slayer of before with green eyes that had once shone with sharp humor. The fragments of Darien still in him – the one's that had never entirely faded away in all the years since Halloween – screamed in rage and agony at the sight.

Arana Folwns smiled at him and purred, "Come now. I could even bring her to you if you wanted."

"Fuck off," snarled the vampire, voice guttural and shaking from rage. If he knew he could, he would rip off the head of this damn thing masquerading as his dead friend and the woman Darien loved. "I'm not taking anything from you, asshole."

"You can't seriously think you can win against me," said the First. It smirked and finished, "I may not be whole but I can still command my forces in this world. And I will have the end I seek."

"I've faced worse than you and won," spat Xander, thinking of what Darien had faced in his time. And what he had faced – the trials of the past and those he had exhausted himself over in the future.

The First shook its head, saying, "You could give up now and never have to face a future without your family."

He snorted and smirked coldly.

"And where," he asked, "did you get the stupid idea that I'd sit idly by during that? I'd rather fight you on the chance that we'll beat you than sit back and let you win."

It shrugged lazily at that, its form shifting from Arana to that of a leggy redhead, emerald eyes shining at him. His blood boiled again as the First took the image of Kay McCouine and smirked at him with the face Darien had loved, causing those old feeling of regret and love to crash in his chest. Snarling, he turned away, head bowed and fists clenched.

"It was worth a try," it said coolly. "You can't win, vampire. From beneath you I will devour."

Xander slowly lifted his head and looked at the First levelly, his eyes blood red and all the insanity of his Rogue half boiling behind the wall that held it back from taking over.

" 'You've sown the wind, now reap the whirlwind' ," he growled, his voice having the strange echo of the Rogue's behind it. The quote, taken from some dark corner of Darien's memories, seemed to shake the First somewhat. Then it straightened, brushing back Kay's crimson hair, and intoned, "You can't stop me."

Then it was gone, leaving Xander on the roof alone, staring angrily at the stars above him with bloody eyes.

"Watch me," he spat angrily to the night.


	33. Training Amongst the Calm

**Chapter 33**

Xander glowered at the five girls standing in front of him, four of them Slayer potentials and the fifth Dawn, his arms crossed over his chest. Faith stood behind him on one side with Giles on the other, the Slayer holding a battle-axe with a smile and the Watcher looking on with some amusement.

"Um," queried one potential, "so what are we doing?"

"Training begins now," replied Xander. "Dawnie, get your ass up here."

"How come she gets to be up there?" whined the potential.

"Because she's been training with Faith for almost a year now and, therefore, she knows a lot more than you all do. That seem a good enough reason, Rona?"

The potential blushed and nodded, mumbling, "Yeah."

"Good." The vampire clapped his hands together and intoned, "First off, we work on hand-to-hand. Since you're not Slayer's but potential one's, you don't have the skills or the strength – this is a good thing and a bad thing. On the one hand, we don't have to be too careful. On the other hand, this makes things a lot harder."

"How harder?" asked another potential, Kennedy.

Xander smiled and replied, "We'll see. So, we have four of you and four of us – we're gonna draw names and see who gets who for training. We'll be your sparring partner and your teacher, so you had better damn well listen to what we say. This is the Hellmouth and we've been here for longer than you have so we know just what you're going to be facing. G-man, you got the hat?"

The Watcher sighed at the moniker then handed over the battered kid's top hat Dawn had dug out of somewhere from an old Halloween costume. Xander grinned and held it out towards Rona, who blinked at him before gingerly reaching into it.

"Faith," she mumbled after a moment, looking up nervously at the Slayer. Faith just grinned back and Xander jokingly chided, "The girls are for teaching, not eating," before shifting the hat to Kennedy.

"Giles!" exclaimed the girl, grinning at the Watcher. Giles smiled back at her and nodded before watching the hat as it moved on to Eve, the potential Xander had managed to rescue some days ago before the Bringers got to her.

"Dawn," she read off, grinning at the other girl standing on the porch.

Xander twirled the hat then, the last piece of paper falling out, and balanced it on his head as he grinned at Vi. She smiled back nervously and said, "Um…you and me?"

"You and me," he repeated with a nod. Then he looked at the girls again, absently noticing Faith taking the hat off his head, and said, "Okay, so let's get started. Pair off into the yard and we'll see how this goes for an hour. Hopefully you all have a few innate Slayer instincts you can tap into that'll make this a hell of a lot easier."

Shuffling around into the pairs, the training began with the learning of stances before moving slowly into certain simple moves. Xander eyed Vi as she took a breath, readying herself, before sinking into the stance he'd shown her first – her feet shoulder width apart and firmly on the ground, arms up in a slightly defensive stance but ready to strike, and her eyes on him. He went purely defensive, arms up only to block, and nodded to her to begin.

She lunged forward, punching towards his face, but he easily blocked that with his forearm. Trying again, she hissed as he blocked it again, frowning.

"Don't get angry," he cautioned. "Keep calm; your head needs to be clear during this. A clouded mind isn't going to help you do anything but get killed."

"Okay," she said and punched again, the blow glancing off his elbow. Then she spun around in an entirely untaught move and Xander caught her foot as she executed a roundhouse kick.

She pouted but looked confused as he grinned at her. "Instinct," he said, gesturing at her foot in his hands. Then he let it go and she stared at him as he continued, "That's a damn good sign, Vi. Now we've got an idea to work with."

"We do?" she asked.

"Yup."

Vi nodded then looked at the others, who were all looking less successful than her. She then glanced at him and said, "Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"Do…do we really have a chance? I mean, you do since you're…y'know…and Faith's the Slayer but…we're nothing."

Xander sighed at that and leaned over so his face was level with hers, their eyes meeting.

"Everyone has a chance," he intoned in a sure voice. "Just because Faith's a Slayer doesn't mean she'll see the end of this. Nor does me being a vampire mean I'll live through this. But you have to believe that you have a chance to live, Vi; a chance to do something with your life after this is over."

"Will I?" she asked softly.

He shrugged and replied, "That's your choice. You have one right now: you can give up and wait for the end to come or you can step up and learn this and fight back."

Vi frowned then nodded, saying, "I'll do that."

Xander chuckled and asked, "Which?"

"Step up."

"We'll make sure you can then. Now head inside, I can smell dinner."

She nodded and started walking away but paused in the door as Giles, the other potentials, and Faith passed through. Turning back, she called, "Xander?"

"Yeah?" he asked, one eyebrow arched.

Vi smiled and said, "Thanks," before she disappeared into the house. The vampire chuckled then walked over to Dawn, who was still standing in the backyard staring up at the sky. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and asked, "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Can I keep one cent?" she asked, leaning against him.

"Sure, kiddo. Now what's up?"

"Just thinking deep thoughts."

"Deep thoughts are bad for teenage minds."

Dawn smiled up at him and said, "Not right now."

"True," he said, frowning. "C'mon, Dawnie, what's wrong?"

She bowed her head then closed her eyes, sniffling. He immediately crouched down next to her, hands on her arms, and asked, "Dawn…Dawnie, c'mon, talk to me, please."

"I…"

He waited then she looked up at him, tears running down her cheeks, and gasped, "I…I saw Mom last night. And Buffy. And…and…you. It wore all your faces and told me we were all going to die!"

Xander felt the rage build in his chest at that, knowing just what 'it' was. The thing that had visited him on the roof, wearing the faces of Buffy, Arana, and Kay – the First Evil. How dare it visit Dawn?!

Swallowing the anger, he pulled her against his chest and she sank gratefully into his arms with a sob. He held her tightly and swore, "We're going to beat it, Dawnie. One way or another, we're going to beat that damn thing."

"I know," she gasped against his chest. "I just…it said horrible things. That Mom would never have loved me if she'd known, that Buffy had wanted me to go away, that…that you…"

"That I what?" he asked, feeling the rage kindling again.

"That…that you'd abandon me in the end," she sobbed. "I know it wasn't true, I know that! But still…"

"It hurt hearing it and you couldn't help but think about it," he said slowly. When she nodded, he leaned his head against her, gently running his hand up and down her back in reassurance. Then he murmured, "I'm not going anywhere, Dawnie. I'll be here now and when you go to college, and, damnit as much as it's going to hurt me, I swear I'll be there when you die."

Dawn gasped and breathed, "I don't want you to do that."

"I'm going to anyway," said Xander. Gently he pushed her back and looked up into her eyes for a longer moment before he reached up to wipe her tears away. "When I signed those papers to adopt you, I made a promise to Buffy and your mom to be there when they couldn't. And I'm not going to break a promise to your mom, baker of the best cookies in the world."

"Xander…" She blinked at him and choked down a sob before throwing her arms around his neck, mumbling, "Thank you."

"You're my little sis," he said, hugging her tightly in return. "Now you gonna dry those tears and go eat the food Tara's been cooking all day? She made macaroni just for you."

Dawn laughed and said, "No, she made that for you! The chocolate cake is mine!"

"Is it now?" asked Xander, standing up.

"Yup!" said the teen, her eyes shining brightly though tears still stained her cheeks. She wiped them away then and slid her hand into his, smiling sadly. "I'm glad you're here, Xander. I don't know where I'd be if you weren't."

"Lost in space," he intoned jokingly as they walked towards the porch. "And, Dawnie?"

"Yeah?"

"If that thing comes to you again, come to me. It can't talk to you unless it goes through me."

Dawn smiled and promised," I will," then they were in the house. The commotion in the dining room drew them towards it and Tara smiled at them as they entered, handing them two empty plates.

"Thanks, Tara," said Xander warmly to the witch. He then nudged Dawn forward, moving her around the happily chatting knot that was the potentials and Faith, towards Giles at the other end of the table. As they settled next to the Watcher, Xander reached out and tugged Willow down into the seat beside him as she made to lean over him.

"Xander!" she exclaimed with a laugh.

"Sit by me," he said softly, leaning towards her as the sudden urge to be close to her again came forward. She blinked at him in confusion then smiled, nodding as she seemed to understand what he was doing. He smiled back and slowly fixed a plate, ignoring the looks he got from the potentials down the table. Carefully he arranged his food then nudged Willow with his fork, nodding towards his plate with a wide grin.

She leaned forward then burst out laughing at the sight of his food arranged into a very fluffy looking but nasty rabbit. They grinned at each other then both said, "Nasty pointed teeth!"

"Brother Maynard, bring forth the Holy Hand Grenade," she intoned seriously. Xander bowed then nudged a circle of macaroni forward, shaping a few noodles into a lopsided cross above it with his fork. "Thou must pull the pin and throw it on the count of three, not five!" he said in return, unable to hide his grin.

Willow smiled at that and clasped his arm warmly, leaning forward so her head leaned against his shoulder. He leaned his head near hers and murmured, "I've missed us."

"Me too," she whispered.

"We'll talk, 'kay?"

"Okay."

Xander smiled and kissed her cheek before turning back to his plate and a conversation Giles started up after smiling at them for a long moment. But his arm stayed next to hers and every once in a while during the dinner, the two old friends would look at each other and laugh to themselves a little.


	34. Immortal Meeting

**Chapter 34**

"Oh my God," muttered Amanda as she staggered out of the door. Vi and Rona went to her side, as she was messily sick in a corner of the underground area, holding her up and trying to comfort her. As Eve started to glance inside, Xander grabbed her shoulder and shook his head.

"You don't want to go in there," he said softly. "Faith, keep the girls out here."

"Sure," said the Slayer with a nod. Xander smiled at her then grimly entered the room, closing the door behind him.

Slowly he strode across the floor until he came to the hanging figure, which looked up at him and choked out a laugh.

"Appearing as the whelp now?" the despondent figure choked. "Stupid. What do I care about him?"

Leaning forward, the vampire fed the anger that had been gathering in his chest for the past few months and felt the burn in his eyes as they turned colors. Spike twitched as red overtook the brown then gasped, "H-Harris?"

"In the flesh," replied Xander. He pulled the dagger from his belt and started to saw at the ropes holding the vampire up, saying, "I may not like you but I'm not inhuman enough to let even you be tortured."

"Better to kill me," groaned Spike. "She…it…I'm dangerous!"

"I'm shocked that you care."

"Harris!"

Xander scowled and spat, "Shut the hell up, Spike, so I can be chivalrous in peace. Christ, I didn't expect you to disagree with a rescue attempt."

The blond shuddered and hissed, "Don't feel like fighting anymore."

That made Xander frown and he leaned forward, forcing Spike's head up so he could stare into his eyes. After a moment he saw something he hadn't seen before in the vampire and hissed, "You've got your soul back."

"Didn't want it. Wanted…to forget…her… To go back to what I was."

Those words made the vampire realize why Spike had always been obsessed with Buffy, why he'd stayed around despite them hating him and then disappeared a month after her death. The damn creature had fallen in love with her.

"Well you did," said Xander sadly as he cut the last rope, catching the weak vampire before he fell. Holding Spike up for a moment, he softly said, "You went back to being William the Bloody Bad Poet. Now shut up and let me rescue you, you damn damsel in distress."

Spike grunted as he was slung over one shoulder then groaned, "You're an asshole, Harris."

"Yeah, I know."

---

"Why are we keeping him again?" asked Xander as he warded off a headache from Andrew's constant ramblings.

Faith smiled and pointed out, "I could ask why we have Spike chained up in the basement too but I figured you've just gone the other way on me. It is kinky though."

He glared at her and growled, "If I were going to turn gay, Faith, it wouldn't be with _Spike_ of all people."

She laughed then sobered, glancing towards the locked basement door. "What are we going to do about him, anyway? We save him and now it looks like he's dying."

"Wills figures it's the chip the Initiative put in his head. Which means the only way to stop this is probably to take it out."

"Which then means he'd be free to do whatever again."

Xander scowled at that, hissing, "He has a _soul_ now, Faith. And despite being a pain in the ass, he's always been the most human vampire we've faced."

"You're willing to risk it?" she asked in a low voice.

"Like I said, he's a pain in the ass but…he genuinely wants to help us. And we need the extra firepower he could provide."

"You just have to figure out how to live with him."

"That," said the vampire as he pulled out his cell phone and started dialing a number," and remember _not_ to rip off Captain Cornbread's head over the phone. Or if he comes to town."

Faith blinked.

"You have his phone number?"

"Got it from Dawn. He gave it to her 'just in case' apparently."

"Oh."

Xander snorted then growled into the phone, saying, "Flower shop, my ass! This is Xander Harris calling for one Riley Finn. Tell him that if he doesn't get a team down here right now to rip a chip out of a vamp's head, I'm going to hunt him down for not apologizing to a dead friend."

Faith smirked as he hung up and leaned back on the kitchen counter, cocking her head slightly to the side.

"So…now what?"

"Now seems I and the Blond Wonder have a date with that old place since I figure that's where they'll make their appearance. You think you can hold down the fort?"

She kicked him in the shin and he grinned at her, saying, "A simple 'yes' would have been fine."

"Nuh-uh," shot Faith, sticking out her tongue childishly.

Xander smiled and playfully intoned, "Wench." Then he leaned over and kissed her forehead and murmured, "Be careful."

"You too," she said with a smile.

"Always," he called over his shoulder as he unlocked the door and descended into the basement. She heard him talking in a low voice then Spike answering before she left the kitchen to go make Andrew shut up and stop rambling about whatever science fiction thing he was going on about now.

---

"You decide," repeated the military guy. "We either can repair the chip or take it out altogether."

Xander frowned, absently noting while the others were eying him nervously, this guy didn't even have a flicker of fear about him. So he was either crazy or he'd seen a lot of shit in whatever unit he was attached to. The latter was probably the more likely of the two but, either way, he found he kinda liked the guy.

It was tough to find someone that not only knew what he was and didn't fear him in some small way but also seemed to respect him.

Then he turned to look at Spike, sitting wearily on the edge of the operating table, and asked, "You haven't lied to me, right?"

"No," replied the other vampire. "I…I feel like I owe it to her to help since she didn't stake me when she could've."

Xander stared at him for a long moment, assessing that answer, then turned back to the man standing next to him. "Take it out," he hissed.

"You're certain?"

"He makes one wrong move after this, I'll rip his arms off and beat him to death with them. So, yes, I'm certain."

The man blinked then nodded, barking out to the other, "You heard 'em, boys! Take that chip out and hop to it!"

"Yes, sir!"

Xander watched as they closed off the spot around the table then cocked his head slightly towards the man next to him, saying, "You're not afraid of me."

"I've seen a lot in my time."

"So I figured." Holding out a hand, the vampire said, "Xander Harris."

The man smiled and gripped the extended hand warmly. "Hrothbert Bainbridge, though I tend to go by Robert Bridges nowadays. Or Bob."

Dark eyebrows arched at the older name and he regarded the man a second time, sweeping his senses around him but nothing seemed off. He was a perfectly normal human being.

"That's a rather old name for someone young as you."

Bridges chuckled at that.

"I'm a bit older than I look. Got caught in the middle of a spell about four centuries ago and just stopped aging."

"Ouch."

"Eh, not really. I never really belonged in that time period anyway." Bridges shifted his head around at the shattered halls of the Initiative base and continued, "This century…now this is an interesting one."

Xander frowned at this new information then asked, "So…you don't age. What about injury?"

"Oh, I can die," said Bridges with a grin. "I just get back up a few minutes afterward. It can be annoying at times but I've learned to avoid that sort of thing. Plus I found this outfit and I fit in here well enough for now."

"How…how hard is it? Knowing everyone around you is going to die and you'll just keep going?"

The man regarded him with a sad smile, softly replying, "It never gets any easier, if that's what you're asking. Still hurts every time I lose someone."

"Then why get close to anyone again?" asked Xander.

"Cause we're still human and we can't survive without contact." He clapped a hand on the vampire's shoulder and added, "I've heard good things about you, kid, from a few of the other circles I move in. Bad things too but I know how to sort those out and find the good. You'll be fine."

"I'm not so sure about that."

Bridges smiled and said, "Le'me give you a piece of advice, Xander."

"Sure."

"For every moment you've got with them, cherish the people you love now. Mourn them when they die for every instant your heart aches for them. Then remember them the way they were in their best times and keep those closest to your heart." The man nodded towards Xander's chest, finishing, "So long as you keep them there and remember them, you'll find some way to keep moving forward."

"Plus, I think you might've just made a new friend."

Xander blinked then smiled, reaching for the man's hand again. Bridges took it and the vampire said, "Yeah, I think so."

Bridges grinned then looked up as one of the men came out, giving him a thumbs up. "Well," he said, "looks like they're finishing up. Means our job's done here."

"Thanks."

"Hey, no need to thank me, we're just doing the job. Also…let's make a deal, kid."

Xander frowned then asked, "What sort of deal?"

With a chuckle, the man handed him a card with a number and an address on it. "That's my number if you ever need anything for one. And the deal is in the address…it's a bar that's been around for a long time in Boston called World's End. How about…eh, say in eighty years…we'll meet there and have a drink."

The vampire frowned for a moment then nodded. He'd only just met this man but he found he really did like him. Reminded him strangely of a mix of his old friend Jessie and a man Darien had known once upon a time with Giles' accent thrown over the top.

"Deal."

Bridges smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, saying, "Alright then! In eighty years, yea or nay, we'll meet there and have us a drink, we two immortals."

"Eighty years," confirmed Xander with a nod and a smile as he slipped the card into a pocket. "Now we just need to make sure we survive the Apocalypse."

The man blinked then hissed, "You need any help with that, you call me. I faced down some nasty shit in my time and I've heard what's been going on; hell, everyone in the know is aware that the Watcher's are currently down for the count. And they're watching you all here carefully to see just what will happen."

"But not helping."

"Most aren't the sort to help. Hell, I'm usually not the sort to help but, like I said, I've heard good things about you, Xander. You need any help – any at all – you call me and I'll come running with all the gear I can filch from my outfit."

Xander smiled gratefully and said, "Thank you, sir. I appreciate that."

"Sir?" exclaimed Bridges. "Bah, anyone that's a friend of mine calls me 'Bob'."

"Bob it is then," corrected the vampire.

"Captain, we're ready to move out," said one of the men as he stepped up to them and saluted."

"You remember what I said now, Xander. And our deal!" said Bridges. He then barked, "Alright, move 'em out and hustle it, men! We've got to be out of here and in time to kill us a demon next before another team nabs the job. And we don't want that, do we?!"

"No, sir!"

"Then move it!"

Xander watched them go and returned the wave Bridges gave him before he walked over to Spike, who was sitting up woozily. The blond blinked at him and said, "So he's a mortal that won't die. Can't say I've seen that one before."

"Me either. How's the head?"

"You actually care, Harris?"

"Not really but it seemed polite to ask."

Spike glowered then grumbled, "Its better." He then stood up, swaying, slightly, and frowned at the other vampire. "You really planning to rip my arms off at some point?"

"And beat you to death with them," pointed out Xander. "But only if you double cross us. I'm not Buffy, Spike. You screw with me, you don't get a second chance."

"Yeah, I got that. Guess we got to bloody live together now, don't we?"

"Seems like."

Spike snorted and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his trenchcoat as they walked out of the old Initiative, the vampire pulling out a cigarette as they entered the nighttime air. He puffed on it for a moment then grinned sideways at Xander, who was frowning at the sky.

"Thinking deep thoughts?"

"We're not friends, Spike."

"Oh, I bloody well know that, Harris. But we're in the same boat you and me. Just like that bloke back there and the wanker of L.A."

Xander sighed at that and started walking back towards the house, leaving Spike to jog after him.

"So now what?" asked the blond.

"Now?" repeated the other vampire. "Do what we've always done. We figure out what's going on, get the firepower, and the stop the Apocalypse."

"Sounds easy."

"You haven't been in many Apocalypse's, have you?"_  
_

* * *

_Hrothbert 'Bob' Bainbridge is created and named in honor of the short lived Dresden Files TV series and slightly inspired by Captain Jack from Torchwood. World's End bar and the deal Bridges speaks of is inspired by that between Dream of the Endless and Rob Gadling from Neil Gaiman's Sandman comics._


	35. Who the Hell Are You?

**Chapter 35**

"He's who again?" demanded Xander, glaring at the man he was currently holding up against the wall with one arm.

"The principal," repeated Dawn. She tugged on his other arm and said, "C'mon, Xander, let him down. He can't explain if you keep him up there."

"Sure, he can!" yelped Spike from the corner of the room as Tara worked on pulling the splinters from a stake out of his shoulder. "Bloody wanker attacked me!"

"You're a vampire," growled Wood, glaring at him. He then looked down at Xander, who was smiling coldly up at him with red eyes, and hissed, "You keep that thing here?"

Xander nodded slowly in response and replied, "Two reasons: he's actually rather useful and I don't kill things that have a soul if I can help it. Oh, and for your information, dear Principal Wood, I'm a vampire too but I'm a lot nastier than he is. Now, you want to explain just how you are aware of what's going on?"

"Not in particular."

"Okay then."

Unceremoniously, he dropped the man to the floor and turned his back on him to the surprise of Dawn and the Slayerette's watching from the living room. When Wood leapt at him, Xander vanished for a moment then reappeared again after the principal had been slammed back against the wall by an invisible force, his hand around the man's throat.

"Don't do that again," he cautioned. "Now do you want to talk?"

Dawn bit her lip then said, "We're not the bad guys, really."

"'Course we're not the bad guys," intoned Faith flippantly as she entered the room. "I mean, I'm here. And, Fangs, you can let him down, Giles just figured out who he is and why he attacked Blond Boy."

" 'Blond Boy'?!" repeated Spike indignantly then yelped as Tara tugged out a large piece of wood from his skin. "Bloody hell!"

"Okay," said Xander. He then frowned at Wood and growled, "As much as I dislike Spike, we need his help more than we need his dust on the floor. So you stop trying to kill him and I won't throw you against anymore walls."

The principal frowned then nodded and sighed gratefully as he was released. Then he looked at Faith and said, "You. You're the Slayer."

"In the flesh," replied the brunette with a smile. She then frowned and said, "And as nice as avenging your mother might be, it's not really something you should be trying to do with an Apocalypse coming."

"Apocalypse?" repeated Wood.

"Mother?" echoed Xander, looking curiously at Spike.

"Nikki Wood," said Giles as he entered the room with a book under his arm. "I managed to find one of the diaries her Watcher kept." He glared towards Spike and continued, "It seems she was killed by William the Bloody and her Watcher raised her son."

"You blame me?" asked Spike. He then glared right at Xander, asking, "Slayer's in that other world blame you for killing 'em? Or they die doing their damn duty?"

"Slayer's in Darien's world are a lot different than ours," growled Xander. "And that's irrelevant." He spun towards Wood and spat, "I don't care what vendetta you've got, it had better be forgotten. We've got enough problems right now as is."

Wood scowled and asked, "And if I don't?"

Faith smirked and replied, "He'll make sure you stay out of it."

"Broken legs don't tend to work," hissed Xander with a pointed look. He then smiled tightly and said, "I'm usually a really nice guy but you've come at a really bad time. So as I see it you have two choices: you can work with us to stop what's happening here in Sunnyhell and forget the vendetta momentarily or you can keep at it and I break your legs. Personally I'd rather you take the first choice since we could use the help but, hey, I'm not picky."

"Xander," scolded Giles but there wasn't much in it. He knew just how much the suicide of one of the girls and then the arrival of another raving of a crazy preacher allied with the First had taken a toll on his surrogate son in the past few days.

Wood scowled for a long moment, glaring over at Spike in the corner, then spat, "Fine."

"Good," said Xander stonily. "And, trust me, if he steps a toe out of line, I'll be the first one on his ass. Other than that, nobody touches him." He then turned to look at the Slayerette's peering into the room and barked, "Move it, girls, training's on! Since there was the delay, we'll be working for an extra hour!"

There was a chorus of groans in answer but the girls headed towards the backyard without anymore prompting and Faith followed them with Dawn in her wake. Xander sighed then looked at Spike, who was shrugging back into his coat now and was splinterless. "You good to get kicked around?"

"By several beautiful young woman?" questioned the vampire with a smile. "Bloody right, I am."

The two were gone then and Giles approached Wood slowly, who asked, "You condone this? That…that _thing_ being here?"

"Sometimes you have to deal with a necessary evil," answered the Watcher. He took off his glasses to polish them and continued, "And sometimes revenge isn't the best course of action to take."

"How can you say that?" demanded Wood. "That monster killed my mother."

"Who was a Slayer doing her duty. It is a horrible mantle to cast upon a young woman, but cast it is and there is nothing we can do about that." Giles then frowned as he put his glasses back on, wearily saying, "And I have seen a young man nearly broken by taking revenge for someone he loves. You should consider what you're doing again and think about what's more important: revenge for your mother dying whilst doing what she was chosen to or allowing a vampire to live so the world might just be saved."

The Watcher then turned and left the principal to think on it amongst the almost empty house. Wood sank against the wall for a moment then slowly he moved towards the open back door, watching the commotion in the backyard through the screen.

His eyes followed Faith as she moved slowly through the motions of an attack with the man…vampire…whatever, he was…Xander. Sighing, he leaned against the doorframe and just watched them, debating if he could really put aside revenge.


	36. Weapons of War

**Chapter 36**

Xander scowled at the new information gotten from Shannon about the vineyard and continued scowling as he looked over the blueprints Willow had managed to hack off the Internet. With her beside him, he went over them furiously, trying to figure out some way to get in without killing everyone.

"It's a death trap," he finally growled, sinking into a chair. Scrubbing a hand across his face, he continued, "We go in there, especially with the potentials, we're practically condemning them all to death. At least if there was something in the school, we'd have a better idea of things."

"So what?" asked Willow. She then leaned forward, peering worriedly at him, and asked, "Have you been sleeping?"

Xander grunted and replied, "Not much."

"You should."

"I know, Wills, but I can't. Not when there's so much shit to do!"

Willow sighed and touched his arm, saying, "You don't have to do everything, Xander."

He started to angrily protest that then laughed, sagging into the chair. Smiling at her, he said, "You're right. Damn, you're right. Ugh." Dragging a hand across his eyes, he stood up and frowned at the blueprints. "Whatever we do, we can't take the potentials in there. You have to tell them that."

"I will," she promised. "Now you go and get some rest. Please."

"Always scolding me like a mother hen," said Xander warmly, moving his chair so he could lean over and hug her.

"You need it," said Willow, hugging him tightly.

"Yeah, I do."

He briefly kissed her cheek then headed upstairs towards his room, Willow watching his every step until he disappeared. Then she looked towards the doorway as Faith entered, the Slayer immediately asking, "He's upstairs?"

"Yes," replied the witch breathlessly. "Everything's so hectic!"

Faith smiled and touched her shoulder briefly, saying, "We'll get through this. Now…what'd he say about the vineyard?"

"It's a death trap and to not take the potentials in there."

"No girls…okay. So, me and Wood."

"Just the two of you?" asked Willow.

"With Fangs out, you need Spike here to help protect the girls," said Faith seriously. "Seems crazy but…he really has been a help."

"He has…but, Faith…"

"I'll be fine, girl, don't worry."

Willow bit her lip then said, "You had better be. The last time you got hurt…"

"I remember," breathed the Slayer. "Trust me, I'm not intending on dying anytime soon."

"Good. Be careful."

"Always," said Faith over her shoulder as she went to go find the principal. Willow sighed and sank back down into her chair, frowning at the blueprints splayed across the table. Leaning forward onto them, she cupped her face in her hands, and muttered, "What are you hiding?"

---

"We have to get that thing from down there," insisted Faith as Xander frowned at her. "Whatever it is, it's powerful and something he's deliberately keeping from us."

"Okay, okay," said Xander, "but we wait two days." He ran a hand wearily through his hair and continued, "I've been neglecting sleep. By then I should be okay."

"You're sure?" she asked, stepping worriedly forward.

"Positive."

Faith smiled and said, "Okay. Now go get some more sleep."

Xander grunted in response and closed his door but she heard him collapse back into bed through it. Smiling, she turned back towards her room and found Wood at her door, bandaged and looking nervous.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hey," he murmured. "Er…Faith, I…"

The Slayer chuckled darkly and opened her door, pulling him inside before kissing him. "Shut up, Robin," she hissed with a smile and jerked him towards the bed.

Down the hall, Xander lifted his head and smiled sadly as he sensed the two of them. His heart ached all at once with the loss but he was happy at the same time.

Faith had found someone as mortal as herself.

Sighing, he pulled his senses back in, wrapping them around himself, and sank back into sleep wearily.

---

"You can't beat me!" crowed Caleb/the First. Xander, blood streaming from a gash on his forehead and into an eye, smiled ferally in response and lunged forward into a blur of motion. Spike followed him with a roar but Caleb easily flicked him aside with the back of his hand.

But the movement allowed Xander to appear in the air behind him and swing around, catching the preacher in the jaw with a kick that could dent steel. The man went flying and crashed into the wall of the room, slumping to the floor for at least a moment.

"Get that fucking thing!" snarled the vampire.

"Bitch!" hissed Caleb as he got back to his feet. Though the word was horribly distorted thanks to the fact that his jaw was only just hanging on. He made to lunge after Faith as she made towards the 'thing' but Xander slammed into him shoulder first, sending the both of them to the floor.

Spike snarled, watching and ready to pounce, as the two grappled and started rolling across the floor.

"You can't stop this," snarled Caleb as he ended up on top, his hands around Xander's neck.

The vampire choked out a laugh and growled, "I…don't…_breathe_…asshole."

With a cold smile, the preacher said, "But you do _see_, don't you?" One hand shifted towards one blazing red eye and then paused as it was abruptly flooded with a color more like blood. "What?"

Xander's arm blurred briefly and, in a crunch of breaking bone and rock, Caleb flew upwards and hit the roof before falling back to the floor. As the vampire rose to his feet, snarling, he spat, "I like my eyes just fine where they are."

"I can fix that," said Caleb as he got up slowly. Then he blinked and roared angrily, his face shifting into something monstrous for one brief moment. "NO!"

"Fuck, yes," answered Faith, a savage smile on her face as she strode forward with a vicious looking scythe in her hands. "Payback's a bitch, preacher."

He lunged at her but a swift punch from Xander in the throat stopped that movement in its tracks. Then the Slayer swung the weapon with a snarl of rage and the man collapsed into a bloody heap with his body in two pieces.

A moment of stunned silence passed in which Spike breathed, "Bloody hell," then Faith sobbed briefly before sinking back against Xander, who hugged her tightly. She fumbled for his hand with one as the other held tight to the bloodied scythe and breathed, "I…I…"

"He was a monster," he hissed against her ear. "Not human. Don't think that, Faith. Don't go there."

"But…"

"He's right," said Spike softly. "One like that…you can't help that sort. Bloody crazies."

Faith shuddered, closing her eyes as she sucked in several breaths. After a moment she calmed herself down and looked wearily up at the both of them with a grateful smile.

"Let's get out of here," she whispered.

Xander nodded and they walked out together, his arm around her shoulders. Spike cast one look back towards the broken body and shook his head, muttering, "Damn," before he followed.

Their slow walk back towards the house was broken when Xander twitched and hissed, "Deadboy's here. At the house."

"Shit," muttered Faith, her earlier issue suddenly forgotten. As one the three of them broken into a run, Xander forcing himself to keep pace with the other two.

Angel and Giles looked up in surprise as the trio came through the front door, slowly taking in their bloody appearance and that of the weapon in Faith's hands. The Watcher blinked then breathed, "Is that…"

"Yeah, this is the thing," she said. Then she looked at Angel and asked, "What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be holding down the fort in L.A.!"

"I had to bring you this," said the vampire. He picked up something from the table and held it up, allowing the bit of metal to dangle from the chain it was attached to. "I'm not really sure what it does but its supposed to be worn by someone who's the Slayer's champion."

Faith glanced sideways at Xander, who grunted and snapped, "I'm not wearing any doohickey when I don't know what it does."

"That's that then," said the Slayer. "'Cause if anyone'd be my champion, it'd be Xander. Thanks for the help, Angel, but we'll pass."

Angel shrugged at that and stuffed it back into his pocket with a smile.

"I figured you'd say that but I felt I needed to offer it. And you all know if you need help you just need to ask."

"Yeah, we know, Deadboy," said Xander, his voice a bit more level now as the last of the red faded from his eyes. "But, like Faith, said, you should get back to L.A. and hold down the fort there. If we lose here, you and your folks are going to be the next thing this goes after."

Angel nodded slowly then asked, "What are you all going to do next?"

"Bugger if I know," replied Spike, earning a glare, but Faith and Xander were smiling at each other. The Slayer looked down at the scythe in her hands and hefted it, remembering just how much the First and Caleb hadn't wanted her to get it.

"What are we going to do?" she asked softly.

Next to her, Xander's eyes gleamed and for a moment red overtook the mix of green and hazel again.

"We're going to go to war," he answered with a smile that edged on insane.


	37. The End of an Age

**Chapter 37**

"So this is how the world ends," said Dawn as they all stood together, "in high school."

"School is evil," explained Xander with a casual shrug. He then smiled and asked over his shoulder, "Everyone know what we're doing?"

Kennedy cocked her head to the side and replied, "Killing everything?"

"Exactly," growled the vampire.

Giles frowned then said, "Remember, only Faith, Spike, and Xander…"

"Hey, don't forget about me, old chap."

The Watcher blinked as a figure strode out of the night towards them, dressed in dark military fatigues and carrying an arsenal of weapons clipped about him. Robert Bridges smiled cheekily at the assembled group then shifted the rocket launcher sitting on his shoulder as he said, "I got an invite to join a hell of a party. Or so I heard."

"Good timing, Bob," said Xander. "Try not to die too much."

"If only, if only…"

"Who is he?" hissed Rona to Kennedy, who shrugged.

Giles coughed and started again, "Very well then, Faith, Spike, Xander, and…Bob…shall be descending into the portal to deal with it. The rest of us have to deal with the bloody Bringers." He then hefted a battle-axe and growled, "Everyone get that?"

At a general mumbled of assent in answer, Faith softly said, "Let's go then."

As one they started into the school, ever slowly breaking off into smaller and smaller groups until finally it was just the Slayer and the three immortals walked into the basement. Standing over the seal, Spike shuddered, grumbling, "Didn't think I'd be next to this bloody thing again…"

Xander smirked and tugged the two curved daggers that hung at his belt from their sheaths, twirling them around so he held them with the blades extending back along his forearms. Unlike Darien, who preferred a single sword, he'd discovered over the years – most particularly that year away – that daggers were his specialty.

Bob grinned widely and shifted the rocket launcher on his shoulder as he nudged at the seal with his boot. "Nasty looking thing."

Slowly Faith smiled and made a small cut on her hands with the blade of the scythe, holding it out over the seal. As the blood started to drip and Xander couldn't help but eye it hungrily, he heard Spike say, "Nastier inside."

"Really?" asked the immortal human.

"Let's see for ourselves," growled Xander as the seal flared and opened before them. As one they leapt down into Hell itself and immediately the uubervamp's gathered there, ready to be unleashed upon the world, leapt forward.

Obscenities razed the air and smoke from the rocket launcher choked them from moment to moment until it ran dry. Then bullets sprayed into the vampires, the missiles created from blessed silver with a core of wood ripping several to shreds, as Bob let loose with his firearms.

Spike rushed into the fray, tugging the vampire-slaying broadsword from its sheath across his back, and started hacking away. He laughed every few moments, eyes gleaming yellow as his vampiric face was in place, and cut through another uubervamp with the sword like it wasn't there.

Amongst the bullets and the wild flailing of the broadsword, Faith practically danced as she wielded the scythe. It flashed again and again as she dodged and weaved amongst the enemies, taking them down with movements that were beautiful in their deadly grace. She was in her element with the scythe in hand, the epitome of what the Slayer could be and could do when truly driven.

Then, for one moment, she paused to watch a dance even deadlier than hers.

At first it had seemed they were going to be overwhelmed and driven back by the uubervamp's, unable to stop them. Then slowly the mass amount of them was trickling away and in that moment she realized why.

With the scythe, she danced and it was deadly.

Xander, however, moved like a ghost in a dance that was far faster and infinitely more deadly than even hers.

Half the time he was a blur, only blazing into view for a moment with blood red eyes that burned the soul and a smile gone entirely feral. His blades were nothing – no enchantments or anything special about them – but they were made as strong as was humanely possible and he had inhuman strength behind them. When he struck, he severed limbs as if they were twigs and the uubervamp's fell before him like cordwood. He hewed through them with an ease that was frightening and, in that moment's pause, Faith couldn't draw a breath.

If this was really what he could do…how very easily he could sweep through enemies…

If he wanted, nothing would be able to stop him.

Then the moment was gone and the battle surged back to the forefront, the deadly dance resumed. It lasted for what seemed a time that stretched into eternity, when fingers ache and muscles burned, then a light flared from somewhere.

Faith spun and stared at Spike as he tugged the medallion Angel had brought from under his shirt, smiling apologetically. The Slayer started towards him, ready to scold, then caught the hilt of the broadsword as he threw it at her, yelling, "Get the hell out of here!"

She stared then watched in shock as he staggered back as a blazing light burst from the medallion, destroying whatever uubervamp's lay within its path. Xander blurred into view for a moment above the light before vanishing again…then a vampire exploded in a bloody spray that he dove through as he reappeared. He rushed towards her and roared, "GO!"

Faith blinked then grabbed at the hand Bob thrust down at her from above, though she had no idea just how he'd gotten out. As he pulled her up, she caught a glimpse of Spike with a serene smile on his face and tried to figure out just what the vampire had been thinking. And why the hell he was supposed to be her champion.

Xander leapt up out of the seal then and landed in a crouch, sheathing his bloody blades without a care. He then looked up, almost every shred of him covered in blood, and for a moment Faith almost thought she was looking at the Rogue and not her friend from the power of the insanity in his gaze. Then it lessened and he growled, "Run, damnit!" just as the floor underneath them started to crumble.

They fled, racing the destruction out of the school, Xander practically throwing the two of them towards the bus he sensed the others in, screaming, "Drive! _DRIVE!_"

Faith landed next to Dawn and hugged the teenager to her as Giles pushed the bus for all it was worth, trying to outrace the collapse that was following them through the town. For a moment she looked back and it seemed like the ever-growing hole was about to swallow them…

Then…

Then everything went quiet…

Panted breaths were the only noises that broke the air as the bus slid to a stop, the engine guttering into silence. Then from the back Kennedy sat up with a happy shriek and hugged Rona about the neck, screaming, "WE'RE ALIVE!" At that the other three surviving potentials converged onto the other two, all of them hugging and crying together in joy.

In the middle of the bus, Willow and Tara wearily leaned their heads together, hands entwined between them as they smiled.

Andrew, shivering, fainted dead away after muttering, "Thank God."

Faith let go of Dawn after a moment then went to Wood, smiling as she kissed him and asked, "How was your first thwarted Apocalypse?" He laughed and hugged her close as he replied, "Scary as hell."

At the front of the bus, Bob looked up at Giles from where he sat on the steps and said, "That was exciting. But what are you folks going to do now?"

The Watcher sagged wearily in the driver's seat and replied, "There are always other Hellmouth's. And the Council should be rebuilt…to help the Slayer's in the future, not try to control them."

"Sounds like a plan," commented the immortal. Then he leaned forward to peer out the door and asked, "What'll happen to those two?"

Giles leaned forward slightly and smiled at the two figures that had exited the bus during the hubbub and were now standing together on the edge of the crater that had been Sunnydale. "They'll survive," he said softly. "She'll grow up. And he'll protect her every step of the way."

Bob nodded and said, "Then it'll be time for him to figure out what to do next."

"Yes," came the weary reply, "yes, it will be."

Outside, Xander stared down into the crater, unable to quite comprehend that just moments ago this had been home. Where'd he'd been born and lived and…hell, where he'd already died once.

It seemed…impossible.

"What are we gonna do now?" asked Dawn from beside him. She had her arm around his waist, blood or no blood, and he had hers around her shoulders, hugging her firmly against his side.

Smiling slightly, he replied, "We keep living. I'm thinking we should take a vacation…"

"Where to?"

"How's Ireland sound?"

"Okay," replied the teenager. She then smiled brightly up at him, adding, "I don't care so long as we don't have to fight anything or worry about dying for at least five months."

"Deal," said Xander, holding out his hand with the pinky extended. Giggling, Dawn caught it with hers and they shook on it before returning to their positions. As they heard the bus rattle to life behind them, she closed her eyes and asked, "Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"You think Mom and Buffy are proud of me?"

Xander smiled and tapped her cheek, causing her to open her eyes.

"Yeah," he said warmly. "And so am I, kiddo. Now, c'mon, let's get back on the bus. Its time to put Sunnyhell behind us."

"What's in front?" she asked as he steered her towards the bus.

"The whole damn world, Dawnie. The whole damn world."_  
_

* * *

_No spell to turn all the potentials into Slayer's this time! I mean, c'mon, if Xander was that much against reviving Buffy, you know he's going to be against turning all the Slayerette's into Slayer's._

_And that's the end of season 7! Stay tuned for either more chapters involving Xander and the rest or a new story involving them. I'm unsure right now where I'm going to put it but I am going to go a bit further with these guys._

_After all…Xander's got an eternity to live now. He can get into all sorts of trouble._


End file.
